I'd not seen you in three weeks
Maybe even four
I was mad about your lifestyle
Couldn't face coming to your door
You called me up and said you're ill
' I'm not eating and feeling bad '
I promised to come down that night
Not to argue or get mad.
I walked up the stairs, stepped in your room
The shock hit me like train
I didn't even recognise you
What I was seeing was insane
You had lost so much weight
I wasn't even sure that it was you
The guilt washed over me there and then
You're this ill and I never knew
The next few weeks were filled with visits
To hospitals for tests
Praying it wasn't serious
Crossing fingers hoping for the best
I still remember the moment you called
I answered and you said hi
' I've got tumours, it is cancer
I think I'm going to die '
From that moment on life just felt
Like we were living in a haze
Back and forth to hospitals
Our minds in a grief filled daze
They said if you put on 2 stone
You could have chemo and have a chance
Everyone willing you to do it
But I knew it was too advanced
We had that chat, just you and me
The hardest thing I ever had to say
That if you wanted to just give up
I was with you all the way
We told each other how scared we were
But how we loved each other too
From now until the end
Would be all about just you.
We smiled and laughed, we reminisced
Talking about old times
We hugged each other and held hands
Even crying sometimes
The hardest things in my life so far
Was watching you fade away
I would have given anything
To be able to have you stay
So then came that fateful weekend
We had chatted on the phone
I had begged you to stay alive
Until i came to see you at home
We arrived on Friday
You were laying in your bed
I gave you a massive hug
Kissed you on your head
You said you thought the time had come
Your life was fading fast
To call you mum and hug you
Would soon be a thing of the past
So when the time finally came
We shared a special time
You took your last breath with just me there
That moment was just mine
You lay on the bed and closed your eyes
I sat with you and stroked your hair
I played your favourite song to you
Then watched as you were no longer there
You were such a remarkable woman
And the best mum I could have hoped for
Your bravery was amazing
I just wish I knew you more