Music floats lazily through the muggy July air
Our legs are intertwined, but like never before
Your face is alongside mine,
there's a fire gleaming our cheeks

I can't help but feel a little electricity
as you stroke my hair,
and peek at me through timid eyes
Exasperated, I murmur,

"Fire. I can't take it anymore."
Set to collision, I twist my body nearer
Your hands graze my waist as
our lips meet fervidly, rhythmically

Impulse and emotion lull
you cuddle nearer and caress my face
I encircle my arms around your shoulders
"This trip did something," I whisper,
"I see you differently."

I can almost feel his scruffy chin brushing against my neck

I can hear his smokey voice grazing my outer ear

I feel his stalwart arms around my ribs

Five years from now, he'll transition into who

He has always been on the inside

He always meets the mirrors in his dreams when he's awake

There’s a whirlwind caught in my hair
There’s a hurricane ringing in my ears
My eyes are starting to flood
Your words are painted on
every wall on my mind.

I never wanted to mimic
Nor try to steal your thunder,
I just absorb your lightening outbursts
as if they were soft raindrops
And kiss your looming electricity

But there’s one thing I’ve learned
About all the thunder and lightening,
It doesn’t mean that you’re explosive,
It just means that you give me drive,
To keep you going

I am free
My shackles have
fallen to the floor
My wounds are healed
My scars are a story
now in the past

I am free
My heart is mended
My once bleak outlook,
now shines with positivity
A bright future
now lies ahead

I am free
Liberated of self harm
Cured of self pity
Safe from myself
I have found stability
and I'm starting fresh

I am free
My weight has been lifted
My stars appear brighter
My happiness has returned
I have recovered

And now, I am free

If there was a way,
I would hand you
Every moon and
Endless numbers
Of sweet nothings
Written on the stars

I love the curve of
Your smile to the curve
Where your neck
Meets you shoulders
And all your little things
In between

Your hazel eyes and
Your soft pink lips,
I love when the smoke
Puts you out and you
Talk in your sleep
I love to see your peace

My love, here we are
Against the unforgiving world
I will always hold you tight
I'll never leave your side
I know you feel you're broken
But I'll help you love you

Slap me
Choke me
Bite me

Show me you own me
I am your property
Your ****

Spank me
Cane me
Violate me

Tease me
I'll please you
Kiss me once

I live to please you.

Snap, snap, wince
It's slowly coming
back into routine

Snap, snap, gasp
A room full of
milling people in
the muggy heat

Snap, snap, ouch
Always one too far
Now I remember this
gratifying therapy

Never in my life
Have a set of hazel
brown irises brought
me to my knees
faster than hers can

I'm starting a journey.

My feet are already bloodied,
and my muscles are strained to
near complete disrepair;

But this is my self-discovery.

You have to let me
find and become myself.

Buzzy and disoriented

Surreal and intangible

Semi-lucid stumbling

A nervous tick to

A gory mess


Dizzying with elapsing

time and continued

bleeding. Blurring the

thick lines of reality

Into oblivion

Every wall is
simply seething with
uncomfortable tension
and bubbling anger

I've become almost
painfully aware that
something around me
just isn't right

Even the metronome-
constant ticking of
the antique clock
cannot settle me

Only in my state

Of punch-drunk

In love and

My buzzy body high

Can make me feel as if

I radiate poetry

He lustily wraps his
Unforgiving tendrils
'Round my willing mind
Here he comes again,
His tongue silver, cunning

He is my vice
He seduces my urges,
And encourages me,
To indulge in his
Hazy poison

Why are you being like this?
I can't explain to her
How he steadies
My freight train heart
And my fragile mind

His bite is all too
Familiar and comforting
Reminding me of
Bittersweet times,
Dwelling on the bitter

But something in me still
Just doesn't want to let him go
My little silver tongued- menace
I just can't stop
Letting his ghost

Gradually and damagingly,
Into my weakened lungs.

When you look at me,
Your brown eyes
somber and empty,
It makes me wonder
if it's my doing

When you shake in the
midnights and new dawns,
I can only hope
that I'm not the one
undoing what you're holding dear

I want to help you, beautiful,
with every piece of me.
Until then I'll shush you in slumber
and love you unconditionally
in your waking moments and long days

Here I am
on my little island

Over there
is my faithful row boat

All of my trees
are starting to die

There's not a flower
to be picked or enjoyed

Not another being
is to be discovered

It seems like my
little island is shrinking

My boat oars  are
broken to splinters

Violent waves are
devouring the shore

Thunder cracks and
clouds swirl perilously

Lightening strikes,
fire breaks out

My trusted shelter
is completely obliterated

On ly little island
in my sea of solitude

Fires rages and
lightening plagues

I find myself
fading away

Pent up
Stressed out

Anger seething
Blood boiling

Sadness resonating
Depression looming

All of it replaced
with a green haze

The lesson here
is simple you see

It's easy  to be
happy and positive

When all your thoughts
simply drift away

With the smoke you exhale

Spring breeze

bombarded with

countless melodies

and sweet memories


Summer haze

dissipated with your

loving gaze

and everlasing days


Autumn air

the wind blows your

chesnut hair

and your last care


Winter cold

your smile,

brighter than gold

and it never gets old

The familiar rush
of adrenaline hits
almost cripplingly


Your hands have
become adjusted
to my every curve


My eyes dart
my voice becomes
a thick, heavy syrup


I flinch at first
but it switches to
thrashing about


Even just sitting
in your near vicinity
drives me batty

I know you can't see

All of the broken porcelain

Shards of who I was

And who I wished to be


Your little girl

Is now falling to pieces

With every passing moment,

She searches for her release


Another day comes with

Another debilitating relapse

Another kiss of bloodied pain

From her only lasting friend


All she wants is just a little


Peace

Tremours plague me

Always a shiver

A constant shake


My eyes never

Give away any

Truth of my being


I honestly

Barely know myself

Most of the time

Your eyes are filled with


Broken promise and empty


Lies about your life

Bass drum meets heartbeat


I embrace the energy


Everything is right

The number thirteen


Permanently burned into


Every memory

You were never mine


Your eyes only hid secrets


It's better this way

Quiet girl

You are stronger

Than your biting

Urge for pain


Reclusive girl,

Just because

you know where it is

Doesn't mean necessary indulgence


Mindless girl,

With your broken

Heart and smile

You can pull through


Self- destructive girl,

You can handle

This strong urge

For a razorblade kiss

Sometimes it's

Hard to tell

Where your

arms end and

where reality begins

The silence in the air
It's eerie and almost
smothering

There's many others
surrounding but
the silence remains
as profound as before

Even the sound of my
own breathing, my
source of life,

Gone.

I close my eyes
and everything
that used to be

Was really never there

There's something about

The depth in your eyes and it

Makes  me feel scared

Any thought of your

Smug smirk or sweet smile

Tears at my heartstrings

Pretty little thing

Let me pull you into a

warm and tight embrace

Please enlighten me

How on earth you can simply

Keep fighting on cue

The cold overtakes

What was once beating in my

Burning heart of hearts

I inhale the smoke

And exhale the loneliness

Everything goes cold

Silence is comfort

I'm living in dream sequence

I have lost myself

Here lies the last piece

Of everything I ever

Hoped and thought I'd be

When Death comes knocking

I'll let him in with pleasure

I am unafraid

Meaningless banter

Is sometimes comforting to

Absent sanity

I will not tell you

How I truly feel inside

It shows my weakness

They are coming out

The skeletons that I hide

I won't let them die

Your eyes are filled with

Broken promises, empty

Lies about your life

Bass drum meets heartbeat

I embrace the energy

Everything is right

Ravish me, oh love

the way your fingers

cascade through

my hair of raven feather


Enrapture me, oh love

don't let any fears or

apprehension stop your

exploring expedition


Hypnotize me, oh love

make me moan

and writhe underneath

your throbbing passion


Please me, oh love

don't hold anything back

Ravish me, oh love

I've been waiting for you

The number thirteen

Permanently burned into

Every memory

You were never mine

Your eyes only hid secrets

It's better this way

My senses, all

completely deprived,

water surrounds me,

embracing my every curve



Serenity replaces all

of the residual tendrils

of unfitted rage,

and shying sanity



As my lungs

begin to shrivel

and my soul

fades to black



I'm sickly satisfied.

Here in the valley,

Dreams are broken to pieces

In this sleepy town

Forsaken flames,

lick your way across my hips,

a pleasure that

I have dearly missed


Beautiful flames;

my lovely poison.

Their forgiving intensity,

bites just as I remember


Scarlet flames,

wrap your tendrils round me.

You're dripping with satisfaction

when I know not of other pleasures


Flames,

love me tender,

bring me pain;

come and coddle me


Every new, unwelcomed day

The shadows dancing

They always follow in stride

They consume it all

Look into my eyes

Push your passion into me

This is total bliss

I'm screaming inside

My own head is a prison

Nothing turns out right