The stage was set, warm sandy beach under a blanket of overcast.
A smile takes over the frown that once existed.
I throw my arms to the sky, screaming to the world that you're mine.

You twist me around and tilt my chin up.
Our lips, the perfect incumbent.
Passion explodes around us as a ray of light illuminates
the space around us; the clouds have parted.

My heartbeat picks up and I hold tight to you.
The clouds close again as you watch me intently.
My muscles lock as if I was meant to hold you.

The stage was set, warm sandy beach under a blanket of overcast. The frown that once exsisted disappears
with the setting sun

Her soft voice rings in my ears.
My heart melts into the music;
yet again another pain,
yet again another evening filled with tears.

The drum beats are the only thing keeping my
tears from falling much much faster.
Why is it that I lose myself when
you're not here?

I know I am only a selfish and needy mess;
that's all I will ever be.
I'm starting to deteriorate into something
that I used to be that time ago.

For one reason or another, I know I don't
deserve someone as wonderful as her.
But deep in my heart, she is the only person keeping me
pressing on with every excruciating mile.

I only hope she knows how to save a life.

My heart is hurting almost like it is breaking again;
I don't know if I can handle this on my own.
All I can really do is hope;
hope that I will be able to make it.

I'm afraid I'm going to lose it all in one fatal
swoop of this small stainless object.
I know I'm not strong.
I know this isn't supposed to happen.

I just wish I had some ******* incentive.
All my drive for importance has vanished
within these last three years.
My morals have left me.

I'm sobbing right now.
My mind is in peril.
My heart is screaming.

I only hope she knows how to save a life.

The rays of sunlight are shunned by the drapes pulled tight.
Music is at war with the silence the space once held.
Tears roll down her cheeks and land on her crossed legs.
All she wanted was to be loved in return for hers.

She clutches onto the sharp silver object, ignoring the fact
that the corner is boring into her pale white flesh.
Blood runs down her arms and her abdomen as she wonders
why she tries. Why was she even born?

Her heartbeat speeds up as she lifts the sharp, stainless
object and sees her own frightened reflection.
Her eyes are red and swollen from her tears.

The object is guided to her neck.
Her hands shaking a bit a she begins to drag.
The blood sprays from her pallid canvas as she pushes harder.
Then she sees nothing but darkness.

I'd never seen her so beautiful,
the color of life now covering her once ivory complexion.
The heart that once beat is now stagnant and black.
This thing in my hand, locked and loaded;
the shiniest gunmetal I've seen in a while.
Her only solitary life now gushing from her head.

Why did I take her life you ask?
It was those eyes...those godforsaken white, sightless eyes!
They never saw anything I am or ever will be.
All I ever wanted was for her to see!!
I've wanted to gouge them out since the day our two
lives became a single, cohesive one.

But it was those eyes that drove me to this.
Never had she seen my face.
Why is this just now occuring to me?
Yes, of course I loved her.
Mad? Why would you say that?

What is a madman? Me? A madman?
Preposterous!! What is a madman?
Certainly not in comparison to me.
I am the spitting image of true sanity...
Or am I?

I see no wrong doing in my actions.
I was simply doing her a favor...
Though, I probably should've been more humane
with the child she was carrying...

My child! My own flesh and blood!! Gone forever!
But it was for the good of both of them I presume...
There was a good chance my son would've been blind.

...My son!! My baby boy!!! How tragic a day this is!
Well, there wasn't any stipulation to 'Till death do us part'.
There wasn't any specification on how it was to happen.

I look to the gunmetal again.
It is to blame for this tragedy...
I hold the faithful steel grey to the side of my head
and look to my deceased spouse and unborn child.

Finally, I give the gun one final squeeze goodbye...

Rust and gold fall soundlessly to the sodden ground,
the smell of autumn all around.
Soft crunches beneath my feet,
the euphoric tone of my heartbeat.
Wind sweetly carresses my cheek,
leaving me unable to speak.

All the colors so vibrant and gay,
my only wish is for them to stay.
Autumn is my time of year,
nothing to lose, not much to fear.
I climbed the old solomn oak tree
and beyond the horizon I did see.

So cool and carefree, but it isn't only me.
You've proven how happy I can possibly be.
Just stay right here by my side,
lay with me and enjoy the ride.

Tears are streaming down my face.

My breath isn't coming easy.

Am I dying? Is anyone hearing my sobs?

I'm sitting here, not seeing anything in front of me.

Where have they gone? Why am I alone?



Rain is hitting the room of this small house.

The wind is howling through the windows.

I'm feeling unsettled and sick.

Blood is running down my wrists.

My razor is sharpening with every fatal swoop.



My eyes are getting swollen from crying so much.

I'm finding myself wanting to end it all.

It's raining harder now, no one would be finding any of my blood.

My silencing should come as no surprise.

Where is my angel when I need her? What is flying above me?



This bright blue light is shimmering above me.

It's beginning to make curious.

Hands begin drying my tears.

Soft kisses are landing on my cheeks.

Here is my angel, she is materializing.



It is appearing to me now, I was dying.

This is the point where I'm fading away.

Terminally upset,

terminally emotional.

Plagued with multiple personalities,

Plagued with a desire to maintain

my last clutches of scarce sanity.



Brushes with a simple reclusive state,

Slowly but surely morph into

brushes with a razorblade.

Trying to escape myself,

Trying to find a safe haven.



Breaking out of my façade,

Breaking out of the asylum.

Screaming loud, with everything left in me,

Screaming loud, but I know

No one can hear me.



Crying out for her,

Crying out for help.

Falling out of my sorrows,

Falling out of tomorrow.



The world growing increasingly violent,

The world growing eerily silent.

Seeing the cruelness in my last breaths,

Seeing the shards of pain in the shattered mirror.



Suddenly, a pale hand zips the body bag that holds me,

Suddenly, my vision fades to white.

Gently, the music of mourning begins to play,

Gently, my coffin in lowered into the ground.