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387 · Apr 2014
Drowning
Kirsten Lovely Apr 2014
Amid the feelings in this ocean of utter confusion
More commonly known as the world
Feeling nothing
And sinking, sinking, sinking
With an anchor around my neck and bricks in my heart
Has got to be the worst of all.
drowning sinking numb
386 · Apr 2013
Dying Nights
Kirsten Lovely Apr 2013
There's dreams some nights
They come and go
These dreams where I lay dying
My thoughts, they scream, with white hot sounds
'Why death?' They ask
'Why dying?'
The truth, I say, a sad one so
The truth, and I'm not lying,
I like these dreams, the scary ones,
The ones in which I'm dying.
There came one night
A different dream
Where I did not lay dying
Instead it was the ones I love
Sad, angry, crying
But their sweet touch- that was not dead
It's what's inside that passed.
Dreams and visions shattered
Like the precious broken glass.
They turned around to let me see
What they all cried about
The sad, broken, little story
That no one knew about.
I lay there, small and pale
Like a little newborn pup
There was no wailing, no new life
Taken with a cut.
They cried and sobbed
'Why is it so?
However could this be?
Beautiful life, oh daughter, friend,
Please, come back to me!'
I shook them, kicked and hit
'Hey, why can't you see?
Please turn around and listen!
It's me, it's me, it's me.'
They didn't look,
No words, more tears
'You need to see,
You need to hear.'
With that I woke
That horrid dream
Such death brought no delight
But what had really changed my mood?
Oh, what had shown the light?
I finally saw my family
That night inside the dream
Broken, sad, and crying
And they never got to see.
I realized dreams of dark and death
Is not something to take light
But whatever I have felt before
Hurts much less than that night.
378 · May 2013
Death Brings Funny Gifts
Kirsten Lovely May 2013
When you go through a loss, it's pretty different
Different in the sense that you lose yourself too
I realized what the point of having a body is
Theoretically, we could be just floating ***** of oxygen and ideas
The body is the vessel for these great ideas
And I finally believe in a soul
I believe again
In death, I have found a reason to believe.
I've found that this site is some sort of a release. Somewhere to dump thoughts I would otherwise be criticized for. This may not be so poetic, but it was definitely something weighing on me that I had to put out there.
This is also in memory of my grandmother. I love you and I miss you, grandma. You will forever be the strongest person I have ever known. 1940-2013

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