stand fast, past the limits of time
perceive my perceptions think quick to flip on a dime
inceptions allowed to alter your reflection

speeding up the mind to unwind the mysteries
of the worlds views on insecurities and mankind's ability
to alter beliefs on others own reality yea claim your free

slow down time so drips drip for eternity
allowing more time for certainty
lies like gun blast ripped threw to me

my voice is that of a ninja silent to your senses
but never unclear with my intentions in a since
my meanings are beyond your understanding
here i am im standing high, wait are you demanding?

i was not handing you the light to speak
your future with me is looking quit bleak
dont follow to close cause you might fall in to deep

your slowing down now leveling out i think you reached your peak
drop habits ingest the lucids to get back up and seek out the ending your mind last speaks hold close your fire for your own warmth to keep

let lose on the world 4 days no sleep
the felling is quit unique, want i should tweak ?
advance beyond your body so weak acid drips
and outer body trips rips your mind apart

when you here me speak you hear it in your heart
try to dissect and digest my meanings and you'll see your mind grows dark
this is not a contest there's no hat take off the bulletproof vest
free your chest to just let go no control
let letting go freely flow threw out your body

now now naughty naughty lucid act
cause you to unjustly react step back take a minute
regain your composer its all almost over
im painting the picture im the composer
i am what is real your just a poser

i king, kings fill there life with shinny things create a new world order
i retain knowledge like a hoarder crossing on boundaries i believe in no borders ultimate freedom in all forms so take flight transform let your minds eye open why do you conform live away from the norm
feel the way of life truly reborn

that is im done no more but rest ashore i will be back
to explore your life more so right now out pour to restore your postwar
and dont forget to your life is lived ******* take care bye bye thats it no more

The light went dim in the street of hate
Another night falls It's your own fate
The Stage is set, come see the show
Nail them up
and let the blood flow

I hate my hate, hate is flown away
I hate my hate, why would you go away
I hate my hate, please stay

Heal our physical wounds with fear
let our kin disappear
The show is over, it's time to go home
**** your children
let the blood flow

I hate my hate, the endless stain
I hate my hate, ease the pain
I hate my hate, hate is me

Sapien business, survival of the fittest
Killer instinct, we are on the brink of extinction

If properly taken the time to fully unwind the mind you will come to find that its really quit wonderfully sublime.

Take hold my hand  as we transcend this staircase together
threw this un-tethered  decent into my reality

Can you see it? Truly see the beauty of what is known as my insanity
because quite honestly my words are at a lose you see.
Let go the notions placed on Gravity and float away into my infinity to a far away land just you and me.

As we transverse each verse of unrehearsed blasphemy  Ill open up this door so you can see threw to me hahaha this madness is consuming me

Yea I'm a rebel I was born with both middle fingers in the air, ******  raised in the slums of my mother land.
Engraved in my heart the hammer and sickle
as we dig deeper my mind becomes more fickle.

Pray your mind can stand face to face with the very beast born from the  cespool of darkness and evil from the groins of ever demon (Oh god please I cant stop this screaming)  to fight along side the heretic god  not even the brothers grim could dream up what my minds slummed up a total mind ****

Rays of light come flooding through the imperious darkness
revealing befor all the surreptitious intentions of felicitous demons
desperate remnants of a once resonating happiness desperately pursue  catharsis from the ever growing  parlous
leaving feelings with no meanings, streaming as the wind carries
the unsung screams of tomorrow's treasons

unconfirmed the pain remains you suffer here  in silence
self medicated poison rots the veins only fueling the violence
schizophrenia soon defines the mind as you try not the panic  
overdrives on over time no desires in living this life constant full auto-manic    

The had you committed and pumped full of pills
medicated vegetated heavily sedated numb to their wicked ways
depression presents new obsession crimson river overspills
burning bridges cutting ties desperate attempt to save their lives
terrified you've justified your plotting their  demise you haven't slept  for days


locked away tightly secure confines of a blood stained straight jacket secured within its stitches carefully woven with malicious and vicious vision sewn together with my many  bad habits
  padded  walls with delusional and falsely portrayed securities beleaguer and besiege my mentality
Silently I transverse franticly the many hidden truths depicted in my mental abnormalities

white coats prep me they plain to steal my fears
a botched lobotomy tried to steal the voices that have plagued me many years  
luckily they hide away deep within the shadows of my insanity
its not I thats ******* up its you how is crazy
no we will never worry about what its like to feel lonely

.

my memories have long be replaced with hallucinatory obscurities  
contemplating my  revgen for my friends they've tried to steal
I found a sharp rode tucked neatly behind my bed
I waited all day and well into the night once they gave the go ahead  I stabbed the orderly in her ear I can tell happiness had replaced the sadness my friends held dear
I suddenly panicked I just knew that doctors were going to **** me a belief transcending all rationality as my thoughts became foggy and  unclear  
and little to no relief would come to ease my mind even fortified in a  barricaded asylum

I can taste all the anger and hatred they had the fueled their desires to end my existence
beating and shooting trying  to destroy my fortress  I remember I chuckled at their persistence  
its was then that my friends insisted hey can help me to escape
saying its the least they could do for revenging their honer

I packed my bag for a far off distant travel to another planet where I can control my own fate
no one to call me crazy no one who wants me dead
no one to to try and take my friends from my head
and the lead me to a bathroom and said it is here I will find
a wormhole visible to only those who share my mind


broken shards of a bathroom mirror litter its jagged remains
circling like vultures around my still lifeless corpse that reflect how I see my diseased brain,
taunting images dance within each fragmented shard accurately depict my insecurities and jaded memories from a time once so long ago
exposing to me inhumanly visions vividly placed inside my mind with surgical precision  
impulsiv dishion clouded all from my vision
and I peered deeply into the eyes of my soon to be God
a wormhole opened up within this  ring of misconstrued fragmented views of defeat portrayed from my tired darkened eyes  
it is with this last ditch effort I pray to unshackle what remains holding me into this existence  as gods smile reasures me  form within fragmented shrapnel  
I bare down with all of my might tearing flesh in my ears begin to resonate severing  my wrists on my broken and shattered reflections perfectly reflecting to portray all imperfections

I sit in longing as I... I beckon thy forth...
~I call to you.~
~Still I call~
Your hidden profound beauty among vast arrays of glistening stars.

~I searched for you~,..
~Go-God how I...~
~I se-search for you.~

In every hidden meaning, interlaced within each of your maticaliss and well methodized scars

These?... mem?ories?...
Your...memories?...
Our?... memories?...
They stream like old nostalgic home movies set to play within  the primal depths of my head
like porcelain tears wept by God all loving gaze,  fragile so delicately fragile  to even the slightest misplaced inapt touch, they cry to me and my insecurities even thought you're already longed been dead I still heard your voice in my head

What was that feeling so estranged
What is this... this feeling my emotions engage ?  

there's this nervous bleeding in my brain meandering threw overwhelmingly disdained remnants
As I strain to explain the remoteness of uncharted  depths in witch thoughts of you I try and abstain
upon deaf indifferent ears my cries are wasted. For none would be found to entertain  A chance to pick and ponder, to get lost in and wounder as I  balefully complain.

"~This sound...?~
Why..?. why so loud this admissible Tri-tone "
There's this uneasy, nerve convulsive,  sound raging threw like a Twister birthed a Typhoon of distemper and dismemberment.
as i find myself forever all alone
striking the very foundation of what little stability from remaining fragments of  a once adored and stable reality.
Sadly now found held together by old worn down duck-tape with reaming remnants of what one can only assume to be glue??
barricades foolishly  fortified by the mind of child still innocent to the ways of humanity barely able to withstand the heart chilling  resonating gasp as your final moments spent fighting to the very last second of you being.

"~Hey... he-hey? wake up sil-silly its not cool to play dead in the hospital you know thats like gotta be bad luck haha. hey did you hear me... oh god... oh god no HELP PLEASE I NEED A DOCTOR  don't stop breathing yet please, no..don't go.  You cant leave me yet Im not ready I cant handle life without you No take me with you you promised me forever and I promised you always your a lire your such a lire how could you why could you  are you just going to giving up on me like everyone else in my life was my love not enough for you to stay?~ "

your final inhale...  no I wont believe this I can accept this reality were is the restart button if life's a game we all play to win at death then there must be a way to restart it right....??? "see this is where you would normally lough.. why aren't you laughing please I need to hear you laugh just one more time just once more
I know this is all just a dream ... I . . I . mean it has to be it has to be a dream just a horrible nightmare "


stale air with a hint of old people/hospital  struggle to fill your crackling perfect lungs.
unraveling before my very eyes strung before me your radiant warmth ( your soul)  I feel  started lifting away until cold chills replace any trace of your warmth left behind Frantically I try to find some way to stay anchored  to consciousnesses as hatred replaces my need to preserve my existence

~"Its slipping... I'm slipping ... no oh god see I told I still need you why didn't you listen"
I cant hold on to the strands of sanity you left behind when you left me behind with humanity and is compelling my mind into darkness as I stupor into my craziness~
my hold on reality is slipping  like your soul from your body I cant take much more rampantly I storm fractiously trying to find some way to release the rage embodying me

your lifeless  porcelain soft blue kissed skin becomes the haunting image that has exuded its dominance within my subconscious In a obnoxious promise to forever remain continuous when I sleep and when I wake

as to forever riddle me sleepless nights and ******* up any reason or purops I once felt before like a sucker fish o like  humanity taking everything they can get their hands on and destroying it

I setting here still I wait for this dream to end and I wake up by your side once again
like a puppy waiting on its master to return home I eagerly stand idle
the years pass by and so sets in the numbing theirs just no time for grieving, grooming my mind to remain in denial until the day you fulfill that promise and walk me across the rose petal isles of our wedding day.

What is this pain I have been feeling? I recall feeling it somewhere? sometime? a while back before we got together and I haven't felt it since our first kiss could this be that pain has come back into my existence

Why is it so hard to find someone who undoubtedly unconditionally  cares
I have gone to please one would not imagain possible in search of someone whos hart is not afraid to dare to dare sadly living with a heart that holds more love for everyone and everything then anyone can even think of imagining is quit so lonely
its been so long and Im fading with my memories


LIKE A BANDIT IN THE NIGHT MY SANITY IS ***** AND STRIPPED FROM ME
...YOU THIEF.... why?
like a bandit in the night you steal with such ease my voice, as you plumage threw misconstrued reculations reculated threw my own self destruction.
this left without a purpose, There's no reason to rejoice
There is no reason to rejoice
I am bound so much higher then the timeline resonating days from before
staring up empty  as the discarded remains of my body from the dingy stiff carpeted floor
  ~breath me in child and breath me out~ transcend the transcendence to harol before thy own spark of life
try to grasp the meaning behind you selfish doubt and misrepresent context strewed all about
These shadows dancing seductively down the halls
their toying, scratching gnawing at my walls
so If I must bend to please your mind then so shall I  break as well
you can find my dissociated shadow as my final breaths staggeringly expel I cant take back the sight of another day
carving up and branding my body with each and every word you convey  hoisted here, I can only hang dangling around
each hooked barb used to keep me feet from the warming confort of the ground
crimson pebbles of blood trickling dripping tracing down my  exposed spine fading is the reality set before me I have crossed the center line  S
     I
                x                                 F
                                             E
                                                     E
                                                               ­   T Down
~"Down..?? wait where was up oh god I-I dont kno-know whats what in a world where up is down and down is up"~

Hell?o... (Hello..hello...hello...hello)
I hear my echo leaping, profoundly dancing along the ecos of your fragmented timeline all  around
this chasms great untouched by the corrupted corruption of man cold damp walls has found to be more the perpetually perfect for resonating sound
  ~wait... where did you sound go... Please..please no... wait... come back~   Bury me deep beneath the waves of solemn solitude as so softly I shall drown
softly I will drown as profound silence shall fall the night is nigh cascading my eternal rampages of over rambunctious demons at feud, ~ I shall go?~,
~I shall go... and never again shall my warm touch be felt my soothing voice resonate within your heart??~

~but how...? how Is this truly what love is ? ~
As my skeletons float freely upward  from the long forgotten deapths of the deepest pits scattered across earths vast mighty ground
In search of new territory to spread their unsound sympathies of discord an unnatural enigma of falsely generated stigmas
No closet on this prepubescent earth shall ever lay vast enough within their voids of blacked silence to begin to lay way a suitable lair able to hide from deep within them all
The continuous continuing cycle of ever-being hordes of lies and deceit so great in their numbers they constructed for themselves a framed body to mate its creator  The never ending countless swarms of past skeletons


SO break
just break UGHHH why wont you break?
me down force a tremble coursing threw my bones like a railway as its final distention approaches my knees giving way to my involuntary crawl.
I shall crawl up to your ****** and suckle on the newborn memories
of the forgotten ways of man from old, so simplistically
as your screams soothes and calms me
I am the product of your noted treacheries
SO EXCUSE IF I SEEM TO BE A BIT UNHINGED
MY ANGUISH BOILS AS MY SKIN FALLS TO THE GROUND DECAYED AND SINGED
YOU TRY TO SELL ME YOUR HALF BAKED FALSE BELIEFS
LIKE A BANDIT IN THE NIGHT MY SANITY IS ***** AND STRIPPED FROM ME YOU THIEF
like a bandit in the night you steal my voice
left without purpose There's no reason to rejoice
There is no reason to rejoice

I needed to get out all the racing thoughts from within my mind all these feelings and meanings as they distort and intertwine this was just a random act of random creations   © 4 months ago, Kira LeMay    story • life • sad • depression • death