I've died quite a bit
since you last saw
me

The sunlight through the
Window catches the glimmer
Of hope in your eyes.

I'm getting deeper and deeper into this mess, and when you start to look into things I will be utterly *******.
I lay here knowing that everything is in the process of falling apart and that I don't want to see the disappointment in your eyes when you realize I'm not what you thought I was.
Stay away.
Stay blind.
Stay deaf.
**** your songbird and mount it to the wall over your bed.

You throw grenades
in my direction and
then run away, leaving
me to try to make sense
of the rubble and dirt
you leave behind.

Maybe I'm not yelling because I'm mad.
Maybe I'm just trying to make you hear me over the ******* swarming inside your head.

It all changed in an instant.
You realized the sparkle in
her eye is her tears,
Her carefree attitude actually
reflects how much she
really doesn't care.
About you,
or anything at all.

The way I feel about you terrifies me.
I have never felt this way before and I don't know that I can let myself, that I even want to feel like this. All I know is you are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and I think I need you in my life more than I want you there.

Please talk nicely to yourself as you  fall asleep and dream about those roses we picked in your backyard.
They were almost as beautiful as you.
Don't get so wrapped up in the weeds that you stop growing before you fully bloom.
I promise I won't let anyone pick you and put you in their windex kitchens.

We lost ourselves in each other.
I can't stand on your two feet anymore and I can feel your heartbeat clearly.
Do you feel mine?
Because I don't remember breathing.