I said today I feel like a shadow of myself… dark and empty.
Just an outline of the person I used to be.
Hiding from the sun’s embrace
Following behind…
Pressed against a wall…
My soul’s walking over me

A black void in place of my smile
A black void in place of my frown
A black void in place of my spirit
A black void… I have become

There are days that I cry
Without reason or provoke
I am so numb… I don't feel the pain
But every now and then
It sweeps over me, like a gust of wind
I have thoughts but the words don’t come.
They linger on the tip of my tongue…taunting me to speak.
But I’m much too tired to let them escape.

A black void in place of my thoughts
A black void in place of my feelings
A black void in place of my mind
A black void… I have become

Praying for someone to save me from my darkness…
Wanting for the sunlight to touch my cheek
Warming my soul… breaking this hold
Making me feel whole again
Staring at my reflection… knowing that my savior stands before me.
Only she can pull me out of this shadow back into the sun.
But is she too far gone?

A black void in place of my hopes
A black void in place of my dreams
A black void in place of my heart
A black void… I have become

this canvas
watercolor memories
diluted dreams
washed away
with the tears.
careless strokes
of misused brushes
smudged the palette
on the linen
of our history.

old photographs
polaroid moments
stuck in time
where darkness
won't fade to light.
shake us up
but it's way too late.
frozen smiles
of strangers
won't change our fate.

Unpublished work © 2010 Kimberly Rae Albright

oh heavy heart
painfilled
I’m drowning
in the emptiness
of my lonely despair.

oh heavy heart
breathless
I’m suffocating
with the sounds
of my mournful sighs.

oh heavy heart
oppressed
I’ve collapsed
under the weight
of my desperate thoughts.

oh heavy heart
my heavy heart


Unpublished work © 2010 Kimberly Rae Albright

minutes, hours, seconds even

Painfully dance by mocking me
Tick… Tock… Tick… Tock…
Teasing me with hopes of the future
Tick Tick… Tock… Tick Tick… Tock
Leaving me with heartache of the past
Tock…Tock……Tock……… Tick

Deep breaths and Heavy Sighs
They leave my downturned mouth.
Years of youth kept my heart full of hope
But now all that’s left is this lump of regret
Stuck in my throat
Drink it down with the sadness

Time, you’re such a cruel keeper of dreams.

Screaming in silence
Through my muffled fears
You find it so easy
to ignore all my tears.

Your words flow like a river
spewing nonsense from your mouth
you’ve spoke the lines so much
you believe it yourself.

You speak it to be clever
so smart and very sincere
But your eyes say something much deeper
They show all your fear.

Maybe if you had listened
instead of playing a game
we would not be left
wondering who is to blame.

This life we made is over
we both know it’s true
all this love that was left in me
now just memories of you.

Hand to mouth
Hold it back
My words
My fear
My anger
Thoughts line up
Like little soldiers
Ready to wage this war

Eye wide shut
Stare through me
Your scorn
Your hate
Your loathing
Disdain marches in
Overtaking the place
Of our once undying devotion

Open your ears
Hear my plea
Our past
Our present
Our future
Regrets take place
Of dreams we made
When we were much younger.

Mouth gaped wide
Taste the defeat
My tears
Your sighs
Our ending.

Thrown aside shattered, broken…
I’m in tiny pieces
A reflection of a half lived existence
of one great big sad lie.

it’s funny what we settle for
in times where we want more.
it’s clever that your words are exactly
what my ears have longed to hear.
it’s sad that all they’ll ever be are meaningless.
promises you made but never meant to keep.

I’m in pieces here
disregarded
you left me on my own.
I’m in pieces here
I gave you all my love
but you don’t want it anymore.

Ego bruised, Heart torn
the melancholy of me blows restless
on these winds of change.
I’m not sure how I can carry on.

it’s crazy the lengths we go to
just to keep from being alone.
it’s maddening how easy
you can walk right out that door.
it’s scary to fall so helpless
into the darkness of what’s no more.

I’m in pieces here
disregarded
you left me on my own.
I’m in pieces here
I gave you all my love
but you don’t want it anymore.

you don’t want me anymore.

Unpublished work © 2010 Kimberly Rae Albright

Oh Sweet Emptiness...
Is this where I belong?
I feel right at home
in the embrace
of my lost solitude.

Oh Sweet Happiness...
Where have you gone?
This was all
just a figment
of my hollow mind.

Oh how was my heart so wrong?

darkness overtakes me
beating me down
until I am numb
feeling at peace with the silence of my emotions
i’ve just grown too tired to care
my thoughts stopped putting up a fight
realizing the battle is over
we both have lost

This life feels so foreign
A piece of a puzzle
that just doesn’t belong.
A longing, The desire
This need for you.

Vivid dreams taunt me
Take us to another time and place
Safe at home
But never felt his embrace.

I can taste you on my thoughts
Feel you in my breath
You run through my mind
Like an old song
I’ve sung a thousand times before.

Humming the chorus
I sing the refrain
Guide me there
Point me home
I’ll find my way
I’ll find my way to you.