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Oct 2010 · 2.2k
struggle
Kimberly C Brown Oct 2010
When it come
it crashes
it cripples me
and I become weak.
I cannot step through the veil of disgust
nor can I scream
to shatter the illusion
cast so deeply from years of your
abuse.
So I grow
and despair
and hope
that no one knows of my
struggle.
Oct 2010 · 701
Moonlight howl
Kimberly C Brown Oct 2010
Shadows cast our images against this wall.
Winds howl sending ripples through our other selves
"Can we have inverted selves?" you ask me.

I kiss your lips in reply
what answer can I give
to make you understand?

You are my moon in which all is
illuminated through this dark night
again
a
kiss.
I wish to always think of you and I...

The nightfall settles
and all we hear are
owls
hooting their song
each rustic note floating
transparent from your rays of soft pale light
till they rest
gently
tenderly
till morning disperses its atoms
like the morning dew.

But I digress,
where was I?
Ah, you and I.
Sep 2010 · 1.4k
Playdate
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
Criss cross applesauce
we sit without a care
your fingers smell of cookies
though your hands have played in dirt
i think of you this day
as it pours His chilling rain
and wonder when the sun will show
so we can meet again
Sep 2010 · 535
Lost
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
Lost
is floating about
a world lost to me.
My brain has unraveled
each wrinkle smoothed out,
until pink tubes dribble from my ear.
My lobotomy is complete, an empty shell
looking through eyes hollowed out by an endless
monotony.
Sep 2010 · 1.9k
Anger
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
Anger bubbles
like a stream
it hisses
whispers planted like an infectious sore
within the depths of your
Amygdala.
Sep 2010 · 1.4k
overwhelm
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
Exploding.
A need to touch and
be touched
overwhelms.
Sep 2010 · 592
Laughter climbs
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
Laughter climbs this brick wall
Rusted and crumbling,
Crumbled and rusting,
Deteriorating, until the laughter itself crumbles,
Lost between its porous exterior.
And what is left behind crawls
Scraping its underbelly against the crumbling
Carried along silken ribbons.

Trapped amidst my curtains
tossed between,
and inside,
and among, my white lace curtains
come to rest beside my head,
laid on my pillow,
my silken-laced pillow.

Sliding deep into my ear
laughter soon gurgles from my lips.
Crawling along my tongue’s terrain,
leaving its waste for me to taste.

Echoed emptiness resounds.

Laughter.

Your sustenance has left this place.
Taking with it happiness, lost along the way.

Taking with it happiness, lost among the bricks

Rusted and crumbling,
Crumbled and rusting.
Sep 2010 · 925
girl
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
Whimsical girl
Stupid girl
The world is not yours like an oyster’s pearl
Theatrical girl
Imbecile girl
You think you speak to the masses?
Impudent girl
Intolerable girl
No one is listening
Poor girl
Disillusioned girl
The world will never change.
Sep 2010 · 679
muddled words
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
Muddled words are stuck
-here don’t you see-
If I could I would give them to you.
Oh please don’t cry, it’s unbecoming
You do understand don’t you?
Let us walk and speak of nothing
But
Perhaps the breeze
Or
Maybe the troubadours
Singing of unattainable love.

This is all very wonderful

Please my boy don’t cry
Soon enough out will come the fireflies.
We will watch them twinkle between
The weeping willow branches, and
We will laugh.

Ha Ha Ha

It shall be a glorious day
And night
And soon you will forget my muddled words
-Now you don’t see them anymore-
And we shall laugh and sing
Sep 2010 · 846
This old attic
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
Creak is the sound of steps pressed against old floorboards.
So comforting are the memories of another time
When into the attic I explore.
Dust is layered upon the floor
On boxes
On cans
On tins that hold old sewing things.
Christmas long gone resides in the corner
Halloween by the door waiting for fall
Old dresses lay pressed and folded between delicate paper
That I dare not touch lest they crumble.
From tins come trinkets
In boxes old toys
Through sun shined windows I see clothed mannequins.
This attic so old so layered with dust
I leave unaffected barely a footprint or touch.
Sep 2010 · 805
Bow & String
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
This cello cries out
With ecstasy the bow is drawn carefully atop the strings
Each cry is beautiful with its shrills
Sway as a bough amidst the torrents of desperate
Melodies. Each utterance is a cry of anguish
Utter grief is poured forth from polished wood
Resounding echoes through the crumbling hall.
Grief is clutching at the mortar between the bricks
Melodies of pain engulf each tumbled debris that falls
turning to dust.
Play that wooden instrument that from its shrillest cries dives
Into bellows of rage that resonates to the core of the soul.
Each molecule is rattled each person left not unaffected with this grief
Transcended from humanly hands into a preternatural world of Gothic angels and demons
Summon all with that instrument
Let them fall to their knees in awe of this,
To this sound which has been given its soul from the source of us all.
Sep 2010 · 489
us
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
us
This is us.
Your fingers
your chest
your legs
your tongue tasting my sweetness.
(you call it my sweetness)
My body responds to yours
each heartbeat timed
with the surge of sporadic pulses.
Sep 2010 · 739
Man in a bar
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
He stands behind the bar.
His demeanor is calm,
not caring
about anything but
the meticulous arrangement of liquor bottles.
With a white ragged cloth in his right hand
he grips the glass necks
between
his three first fingers and thumb.
He people watches.
slowly he paces back and forth
behind his protective

separation

seeing the world behind his sleep laden eye lashes.
He sways to the music of
golf commentators and steam cleaning dishwashers.
Tired, broken, slightly drunk from sips of ***
he sneaks
when no one is looking,
he lets each palm lay flat
against the cold plastic granite counter top.
To his right two women
in their fifties
are lulling about grandchildren,
while the
click
clicking
of a laptop causes a stressful twitch in his left eye.
New customer.
"Hi, how you doing?"
She walks away, slightly bothered
he pays more loving attention to
hot glass out of the steam washer
than her need for a twelve dollar glass of
bitter clear looking liquor.
More people.
four this time.
"Hi there, how are ya?"
The woman asks in a loud voice.
Shes happy, excited waiting for
a husband back from a business trip.
She orders a glass of champagne
while the man shes with wants Budweiser.
"We only have light. Is that okay?"
The man looks ******,
as if he himself should take on
responsibility of a society growing more fond

of an inebriated state of mind.

As the woman continuous to talk
unending
he places the wine glass before her,
all the while thinking
with a bitter delight
that her husband,
who has frequent trips
sees a different girl every night.
He knows this,
all the staff at the airport
that have an occasional drink know this.
But his wife,
his obnoxiously cheerful wife,
sits in blissful ignorance.

They're still talking,
still trying to make conversation
while a baby mewls in the background,
and the golf spectators cheer at a whole in one.
He's tired.
let off momentarily by the bar manager
he sneaks another small glass of
***
mixes it with Dr. Pepper before walking into the back.
His breathing is methodical,
he waits for a sound,
anything
at all to signify his existence,
his meaning of living
before he takes another sip of his drink.
The *** goes down hard,
***** threatens
to
displace
his pride
but he manages to keep it down.
"YO!"
He winches
at the rust filled tone in his managers voice.
More people have pulled into the bar.
Its busy he needs help.
He lets out a curse
it bursts forth then
settles
hovering before is red eyes
before pushing away from the desk.
The metal legs scrap against the stone floor.
Another sound that makes his mind
believe that ***** is the only
escape
to some type of comfort.
His rubber soled shoes squish as he walks.
He sighs.
Sounds of golf cheering and baseball playing
distracts him
momentarily from his misery.

A jolt of pain doubles him over.

"Has my temple split?" he thinks.
He gingerly flutters his first three fingers
against the vein pounding incessantly.

A young woman walks up the the bar.

She belongs on a beach, he thinks.
Her hair hangs between her shoulder blades.
Her eyes are are light,
her skin glows
between her light turquoise mesh shirt
and bleach white shorts.
She orders a cold coffee,
he pushes the can over slowly
watching
her shell earrings clink against her jaw bone.
She gets up,
he watches,
and walks from the bar.
An arm wraps around her waist
outside the threshold of the bar
and kisses her softly on her forehead.
Her father perhaps.
She doesn't look back.

He did not stick at all in her mind.

He instantly erases her face
and resumes to dancing his fingertips
against his excited vein.
The clocks reads 8:25.
Two more hours.
Sep 2010 · 663
i do not wish
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
In which direction do we go
I cannot tell
for I am lost and do not wish to walk with you
through night's brisk air.
Once about the corner turn
The crunch of gravel spews from our heels.
To walk with you I cannot bear.
My wrapper held fast by a pin
My voice tucked in a woolen shield
I do not wish to walk with you
And speak of times much gayer than these.
Brisk we step
Slow we turn
Onto the street where we first met
Thus our beginning is our end.
I do not wish to walk with you again.
Sep 2010 · 775
Delapitation
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
Summer falls whilst winter flows
upon the blossoms of forget.
Mementos of a time long gone
wisp through flashes of thought
before sinking on the edge of the equinoctial rim.
Skeletons cackle with the thought of hell
nestled in the depths of their empty eyes,
then washed away
we lift our necks to
breath in the thick condensation of death.
We forget, then forgive
We harbor and let it fester
let if fester...
let it feed and grow and love you with a corrupted pleasure.

Come!

Have my soul, steal my heart and let it go
not.

We must sink alone
tangled in the lines of algae and slime.
You alone and I alone, and when one dies two others go.
Build up thy sin, squeeze lust through a pure soul.
Detach yourself
from everything
unlatch my hatred.
Sep 2010 · 717
beauty
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
Death has never yet looked beautiful
As it does now
When looking upon the wintered cornfields
Or the lake blowing over frozen life
Petrified till spring’s thaw.
Death itself blows
Riding the biting winds to chill
The bones of the young and old
On the brink of eternal sleep.
Indeed death is welcome
Plucking each brittle leaf from its tree
Or inhaled, settled with the damp in the lungs of a child.
Death is wondrous, once said to be the only supernatural thing
We will ever know.
Quoted and sung, loved and nourished.
Death has never yet looked so beautiful
Sep 2010 · 962
Slippery slope
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
Light headed, wandering  unknown
through a world that has grown
molded around new hearts
and intuitions.

Floating above an era towards something more
spirits soar, becoming lost in a
universe.

In a world so perverse, becoming crystallized forever
Within its own coffin of abstract love these machines
march synchronized. Following a manual preset
to live out tired lives.

Each detail, each texture lit upon a soft petal
is ignored. The eyes of children are no longer innocent.

Who knows more of the world than anyone will know?

Yet determined of self-destruction we **** our pathos
We dissolve into a world unbeknown to its fate.

Then let us perish together at once

And feed upon the greed and hatred of those once noble men.
Let us suckle at the breast of ignorance and fan the flames of madness.

In that must we find solace
And within our own fortress seek our own version of purity.

Submit to the will of what we cannot control
And in the end smile because we are finally



Free.
Sep 2010 · 973
these beads
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
These beads are warm against my palm.
Forming a chain they hang
low
reflecting
refracting light
from my window glass.

Warmth permeates
the hard plastic exterior
trapping orbs of sunshine
within.

Like miniature suns
the chain transforms
becoming ethereal
in its beauty.

They smooth the the wrinkles
of my fingerprints
and leave behind
the smell of light.
Sep 2010 · 424
spirit fly
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
I heard your heart between lungs
filled
seeping with
the chill
from a body to frail
to keep in health.

With each shattered breath
that parted
lips
blue and cracked
I saw a sliver of your light
fade
into
blackness.

We stood
amidst that downy blanket
of
cold. I held you perhaps
too close?

Feeling your wasting
seeing
emaciated
your body I trembled
as you trembled from my
briefest touch.

Lowering your
essence
below
I felt you finally
free
to float above
time and space.
Sep 2010 · 570
rain
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
These drops fall carelessly
dropping down and rolling
like clear beads
on the laminated surface of infant leaves.
Lazing about underneath its shade
I look up through dark lashes
to catch and keep
a glimpse of you
before
you ****** my gaze away.
That single drop of days old rain
dives
leaving vibrations on the leaf's tip
to 'plop'
on your forehead.
I watch you let it run its course
sliding down the connection
between eyes and
the precipice of your
nose.
With a timid curved finger
-my longest-
I feel my caress on your skin.
with your eyes fixed to mine
I abandon all coyness.
the collision of our lips was inevitable
our teeth clink like
wine glasses in celebration
While our tongues undergo construction
sanding down passions rough exterior.
together under the pale sun
we are stationed
shirts pulled and
wrinkled.
Faces flushed with
memories.
Our breath steams out
slowly
and our eyes avert from the others
to the sky
clear blue
watching God.
Sep 2010 · 527
spectrums of light
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
Which way is up
raise me high above these embittered troughs
let not my feet, or toes be dipped in its slop.
Like pigs-starved-I watch their thickened tongues
lick and slurp the trash thrown down before them.
Laugh I would but the scene is just to dire
instead i let a salted tear expire,
and as it rolls and drops from my darkened cheek
I watch it wasted away.
Don't let me fall, but hold my numbed hands firm.
Pay no attention to the omen clouds or gales
keep our fingers steadfastly intertwined.
Eyes turned upward watching sky
watching you watch me with saintly eyes
watching you out pour from wing outstretched
the light of His divine holiness.

As higher up we fly
though my arms are tired and worn
and my eyes badly stung
my heart is filled until its sploshing
joy that others wish to taste twice over.
Under many spectrum s of light
we melt effortlessly through.
Safe you guide me to that overlook.
did you always know even through my darkened times
that this journey here would end sublime?

"Which way is up" I asked when first you came
I watched the animals watch as i was raised
they tried to lift their necks bowed low in vain.
From pure gales He cleaned my soul anew
you must have known how this would end
each day that passed your smile did only expand.
so here we are, and from that dark-wooded hold
we stand before His golden gates-Behold!
Sep 2010 · 650
Grief
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
The blood began to flow.

I watched the liquid flow almost black and viscous.
I was in a place beyond myself,
far removed from my shattered psyche
that refused to recognize your twisted limbs,
the waste pooling around us from your bowel.

Your stench overcame the powerful scent of cloves
that had spilled from your bag.

As I teetered on the edge of darkness
I wondered if I could regain myself
before the comfort of madness.

You were so heavy against me...
so dead.

My fingers gripped flesh,
my palms leaked sweat between the silky folds of your inner
elbow.

How could it come to this?

Then the pressure came.
My chest filled and heaved,
my eyes grew hot,
all my ears could hear
was the life blood that had left you pumping incessantly,
intolerably in my temples.

She stayed motionless
with only one rhythmic breath sounding music through the night.

I pressed the corpse closer to my breast.

Woman: You're no longer here with me.

But you are.

She pressed her ear to those dead lips
cold and unfeeling.

Just under the surface of memory
there was the familiarity of kisses once delivered
by your fleeted consciousness.

Corpse: Am I?
Sep 2010 · 533
cool drops falling
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
Cool drops
cool drops falling, rolling
sliding
down before they reach your jaw.
I move close
the creak of the floor calls out to me.
A woman's skin is soft
like a silken second skin
so tightly, so lightly fastened to your body
is felt against my open palm,
is felt against my muscled arm
so down it goes parallel your vertical curves
like a flawed hourglass so striking.
Lips close around that water drop, now sliding down your collar bone
nestled in the hollow
where shoulder meets neck.
The water refreshes me
ignites my thirst.
ignites...
Sep 2010 · 650
colours
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
A star exploded before me
its dying life seeped tendrils
out
------so far
---------it reached my earthly eyes.
The heat from its extinction
burned me
like a melting candle I seeped
----between----
the floorboards
dripping hardened
wax onto your face.
Staining both wood
and carpet below.
Sep 2010 · 451
Thoughts
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
Within the distant fray I sway
leaves from a deadened bough
release me
shriveled, brittle
to a hardened ground.
------------------
Once I thought I'd seen a butterfly
I watched its wings

touch and gape
touch and gape
touch and
fall

like a dying star
I witnessed its fall
swallowed by an ocean
coloured by the receding sun.
Sep 2010 · 487
Remembrance
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
Remembrance flows
like silk sliding through
coarse fingers
unwilling to grasp what
was once there.

Space fills up the vortex
we are pulled into. The
Deconstruction of your
psyche trembles
with consciousness
barely visible below the
layer of breath
that separates that air from
sliding molecules.

Blue lips coupled with pale skin
while drifting down that inverted air
your mass settles to the sedimentary trough.
Buried below green blades-pliable tenderness, caresses each
stiff limb.

Eyes seeing past let the wind
which- push your dwelling to and fro-
blink your eyes. Happiness is a concept
you once thought you knew. That I know.

— The End —