I had a thought
a burst of inspiration
it whorled about my head
singed the skin of my ears
burned away the fringes of hair
---let loose about me face---
like ash flicked from the tip of a cigarette.

This thought multiplied
as many do, but even more this grew
taking up empty space, filling the heavens in my eyes
consuming me with a fire unfelt before, unknown to be felt--before.

Like pure energy it fumbled
crackling about the dry air, creating music's pure form.
Twisting, contorting--grotesquely beautiful--its tantalized me
ripping me with ethereal bare hands--until, my soul lay beating out
a glow in response to this epiphany, in a hand that was not a traditional hand.

This body moved
possessed of an inner passion
as these eyes watched detached as
my essence, received the violent creation in motion.
I feared it would burst and spill, letting go past memories
and that thing that will not come again, that nutrient that comes only once.

This body shook
the limbs quivered and tightened
in anticipation of a full soul ready to be received.
And when that hand, which was yet not a hand inserted
pressed, squashed, stuffed me back into myself my body felt light
despite--this immense entity housed within my flesh of skin, blood and bone.

When all had become quiet outside
I heard the music still, the monstrous song
that enveloped my ears fully, captured my eyes inwardly
until I fell backwards in a rapture locked in a battle I wished to lose.

This music slowly died
and with it my tremors stilled
until all that was left behind was but
the tiny ****** of a thousand angelic bells
hanging from the Bell-Trees of paradise's seventh node.

Don't bother
I'm ok.
Its a slippery ***** you tread on
was your advice
or warning,
I cant decide.

Sit and drink a cup of tea with me
and I will tell you all there is to know
--if you so wish to know.

I grew up happy
sometimes, in pieces
I believe is the better term.
Between love and hurt
smiles, and endless tension.

I left and knew a freedom
I had not known before,
and reacquainted myself
with a mothers tender love.

I met with friends,
with petty enemies
but none so great
as you were (both) to me

and as I walk along that treaded path
I backtrack
to that time before,
when we shared love, and hate
and bitter memories.

Should I hate you now
or love you all the fiercer,
because....
it was you who taught me
to love intensely
and hate all the more incredibly.

You see--
I chuckle when I think
of this paradox we are in
like sugar I cant get enough
though its slowly killing me.

So you see (again)
I'm ok,
...sometimes
or perhaps...
in pieces is the right
word to say.

At once I thought we were to see this through
--you and I--
I suppose the fear was just too great
for when the morning light had shone its rays
you were gone
and I was left alone.

I didn't cry
I made not one sound for you
I laid there still
feeling the emptiness you left

and come mid-noon when dawn had fully yielded
I rose and went about my day.