A cold chilling wind blows
          it seeps
             deep
deep into my bones.

A ripple of numbness
       takes hold.
My knees bu
ckle.
GRAVITY takes-----------hold.

This chilling wind blows
that
         vanquishes souls.
Spreads      like       poison.
Latching (on) not letting go.

Where have your fires gone?
In what place are they stored
numbness is
                           unbearable.

Sit and I will make this short

After many years considering
your crude remarks
your awful gawks
I find that I have come utterly
to hate you utmost fully.

Your very presence infuriates me
I'd **** you if I had to stomach for it.

Instead I'll have to be content
to watch your pride whither
and buckle within itself.

When I write
when I commit words to a page
so vague are they, so seamless
that  I become afraid
with the slightest mummer of discord
they will dissolve from the moisture
of our discontent.

When I write
experience unfolds
from my eyes, from my mind
that Ive never truly known
and yet
the feeling I describe
is wonderful, satirical
crippling, dishonorable
dangerous, and suicidal.

When I write
I am free
though I wander through no
galaxies
instead I sit and type, I write
and sink deeper into...me.

Mistakes were made
nights were spent between sheets
twisting and gnawing at fingernails.

We cried our tears
and laughed out loud
till echos left cracks in the bedroom walls.

What can I say?
We had our fun
basked in the sunlight of this doomed bond
between two.

It is now the eve of our departure
emptiness is left to greet us and leaving us
is the knowledge of what we might have been.

Oh well, can you blame us
for ever trying
to be something we never could.

I mourn for you
these tears that pool within my eyes
spill below its brim for you.
I cry for you
I scream till my throat's tissue  's raw
and this meek voice cracks for yearning you.

You lie there still
so still you sleep under covers of silk
while IVs feed nutrients to you.
Each eye closed lets slip a saline tear
that wets the pillow beneath you.

Each hour we are thrown down to eternity,
each minute we wait in unknowing fear
for each second that passes I clutch desperately to you
not wanting you to abandon me too.

----and yet----

Your life slips below my fingertips
pools and wets my swollen feet.
your death bed stinks of suffering
and my heart---my heart breaks
it BREAKS from loving thee.

Twist and turning disquieting
I'm going to BURST
this hurting is building
its unbearable
intolerable
I  feel  my  world   is   losing   grip
my sweetness died when you left me.

I mourned for you
So many tears have slipped below their brim for you
I screamed for you
my tissues raw from calling you
you never looked back as I ran for you
Fallen on knees I pounded the ground in defiance of you
I hate you, I hate you, I NEVER could have loved YOU!

---But then,

Your anguish was felt so strongly
its locks my bones
from head to toe
I fall---they break
is all this feeling from your pain?

---and then,

You healed me through
your memory kept my life among the living
your lingering smell
your fading laugh
kept the knife from meeting flesh

you!

Through your death, you saved my life
for that I will always love you.

Green this leaves me.

Devastated and hollow.

Angry that words
cannot   come   properly
From my mouth.

What its this!
I scream this
I hit and scrap and draw blood from this.
I pour my hatred deep into this
wanting to swallow your hope from this.

But would you be destroyed.
Would word and deed and life be destroyed?
I implore!
I beg of whom may be planning things
to rather let their be no fate
just send us out
and shake the world.

Green
I am green and livid.
My mouth is spewing vile
my fists are clenched till my palms are bloodied.

This monster inside is raging!
No release is waiting
yet constantly I lay waiting
to use these hands as instruments
to ring the life from lively eyes
which started this mad craving.

Upon this rocky shore we find
as we sit most content
a bird so small that as it flies
we barely see a speck.

It lands---disturbing particles
of loose boulders only ants would fret
and chirps its song of mating
to its mate nestled upon her eggs.

We sit, you and I,
your hand on mine
so slight I barely feel
My glance slides down protectively
to make sure your still there.

The sun sets fire throughout the sky
the horizon blurs two realms
and as the birds sing their lullaby
we two remain here perched.