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Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
He stands behind the bar.
His demeanor is calm,
not caring
about anything but
the meticulous arrangement of liquor bottles.
With a white ragged cloth in his right hand
he grips the glass necks
between
his three first fingers and thumb.
He people watches.
slowly he paces back and forth
behind his protective

separation

seeing the world behind his sleep laden eye lashes.
He sways to the music of
golf commentators and steam cleaning dishwashers.
Tired, broken, slightly drunk from sips of ***
he sneaks
when no one is looking,
he lets each palm lay flat
against the cold plastic granite counter top.
To his right two women
in their fifties
are lulling about grandchildren,
while the
click
clicking
of a laptop causes a stressful twitch in his left eye.
New customer.
"Hi, how you doing?"
She walks away, slightly bothered
he pays more loving attention to
hot glass out of the steam washer
than her need for a twelve dollar glass of
bitter clear looking liquor.
More people.
four this time.
"Hi there, how are ya?"
The woman asks in a loud voice.
Shes happy, excited waiting for
a husband back from a business trip.
She orders a glass of champagne
while the man shes with wants Budweiser.
"We only have light. Is that okay?"
The man looks ******,
as if he himself should take on
responsibility of a society growing more fond

of an inebriated state of mind.

As the woman continuous to talk
unending
he places the wine glass before her,
all the while thinking
with a bitter delight
that her husband,
who has frequent trips
sees a different girl every night.
He knows this,
all the staff at the airport
that have an occasional drink know this.
But his wife,
his obnoxiously cheerful wife,
sits in blissful ignorance.

They're still talking,
still trying to make conversation
while a baby mewls in the background,
and the golf spectators cheer at a whole in one.
He's tired.
let off momentarily by the bar manager
he sneaks another small glass of
***
mixes it with Dr. Pepper before walking into the back.
His breathing is methodical,
he waits for a sound,
anything
at all to signify his existence,
his meaning of living
before he takes another sip of his drink.
The *** goes down hard,
***** threatens
to
displace
his pride
but he manages to keep it down.
"YO!"
He winches
at the rust filled tone in his managers voice.
More people have pulled into the bar.
Its busy he needs help.
He lets out a curse
it bursts forth then
settles
hovering before is red eyes
before pushing away from the desk.
The metal legs scrap against the stone floor.
Another sound that makes his mind
believe that ***** is the only
escape
to some type of comfort.
His rubber soled shoes squish as he walks.
He sighs.
Sounds of golf cheering and baseball playing
distracts him
momentarily from his misery.

A jolt of pain doubles him over.

"Has my temple split?" he thinks.
He gingerly flutters his first three fingers
against the vein pounding incessantly.

A young woman walks up the the bar.

She belongs on a beach, he thinks.
Her hair hangs between her shoulder blades.
Her eyes are are light,
her skin glows
between her light turquoise mesh shirt
and bleach white shorts.
She orders a cold coffee,
he pushes the can over slowly
watching
her shell earrings clink against her jaw bone.
She gets up,
he watches,
and walks from the bar.
An arm wraps around her waist
outside the threshold of the bar
and kisses her softly on her forehead.
Her father perhaps.
She doesn't look back.

He did not stick at all in her mind.

He instantly erases her face
and resumes to dancing his fingertips
against his excited vein.
The clocks reads 8:25.
Two more hours.
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
In which direction do we go
I cannot tell
for I am lost and do not wish to walk with you
through night's brisk air.
Once about the corner turn
The crunch of gravel spews from our heels.
To walk with you I cannot bear.
My wrapper held fast by a pin
My voice tucked in a woolen shield
I do not wish to walk with you
And speak of times much gayer than these.
Brisk we step
Slow we turn
Onto the street where we first met
Thus our beginning is our end.
I do not wish to walk with you again.
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
Summer falls whilst winter flows
upon the blossoms of forget.
Mementos of a time long gone
wisp through flashes of thought
before sinking on the edge of the equinoctial rim.
Skeletons cackle with the thought of hell
nestled in the depths of their empty eyes,
then washed away
we lift our necks to
breath in the thick condensation of death.
We forget, then forgive
We harbor and let it fester
let if fester...
let it feed and grow and love you with a corrupted pleasure.

Come!

Have my soul, steal my heart and let it go
not.

We must sink alone
tangled in the lines of algae and slime.
You alone and I alone, and when one dies two others go.
Build up thy sin, squeeze lust through a pure soul.
Detach yourself
from everything
unlatch my hatred.
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
Death has never yet looked beautiful
As it does now
When looking upon the wintered cornfields
Or the lake blowing over frozen life
Petrified till spring’s thaw.
Death itself blows
Riding the biting winds to chill
The bones of the young and old
On the brink of eternal sleep.
Indeed death is welcome
Plucking each brittle leaf from its tree
Or inhaled, settled with the damp in the lungs of a child.
Death is wondrous, once said to be the only supernatural thing
We will ever know.
Quoted and sung, loved and nourished.
Death has never yet looked so beautiful
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
Light headed, wandering  unknown
through a world that has grown
molded around new hearts
and intuitions.

Floating above an era towards something more
spirits soar, becoming lost in a
universe.

In a world so perverse, becoming crystallized forever
Within its own coffin of abstract love these machines
march synchronized. Following a manual preset
to live out tired lives.

Each detail, each texture lit upon a soft petal
is ignored. The eyes of children are no longer innocent.

Who knows more of the world than anyone will know?

Yet determined of self-destruction we **** our pathos
We dissolve into a world unbeknown to its fate.

Then let us perish together at once

And feed upon the greed and hatred of those once noble men.
Let us suckle at the breast of ignorance and fan the flames of madness.

In that must we find solace
And within our own fortress seek our own version of purity.

Submit to the will of what we cannot control
And in the end smile because we are finally



Free.
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
These beads are warm against my palm.
Forming a chain they hang
low
reflecting
refracting light
from my window glass.

Warmth permeates
the hard plastic exterior
trapping orbs of sunshine
within.

Like miniature suns
the chain transforms
becoming ethereal
in its beauty.

They smooth the the wrinkles
of my fingerprints
and leave behind
the smell of light.
Kimberly C Brown Sep 2010
I heard your heart between lungs
filled
seeping with
the chill
from a body to frail
to keep in health.

With each shattered breath
that parted
lips
blue and cracked
I saw a sliver of your light
fade
into
blackness.

We stood
amidst that downy blanket
of
cold. I held you perhaps
too close?

Feeling your wasting
seeing
emaciated
your body I trembled
as you trembled from my
briefest touch.

Lowering your
essence
below
I felt you finally
free
to float above
time and space.
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