You left as quickly as you came
leaving echos rippling thought
thick silence
as I lay sorely wanting
on sheets barely rustled
with your coldness
and my aching.

Let us create
perhaps we shall use machines-said he-
No!- we'll use our hands, interrupted she-we-
steel, we'll form creations we-
will use our flesh, bones, sweat-
oil and fire, ire, industry-
STOP!, no more!
Let us create, think no more of machines
let us destroy that impersonal thing
and feel the pulse of life burst through
like flames of magma burning, melting.
I'd rather use the heat of hands
not burning coal to fuel the fire of desire
that I wish that we might create together.

Who should I turn to
at a time when the world has lost its definition

Trying to find meaning is as fleeting
as painting on a wetted canvas

the colours bleed
STAY IN YOUR PLACE!
-is what I want to yell-

What I need now is order
and control

It's the day after
I've spent the memories on other things
I sat at a candled table
eased into wicker chairs
with plush cushions
and cigarette smoke coiling into the humid air.

I-among others- wet our tongues on sweet wine
and sampled crumbled cake from antique bakeries
sipped steaming tea from tin kettles
and laughed as coins jingled in our pockets
and happiness jostled against our souls.

I spent the day after
not thinking about that hurt
but rather forgetting for a while
that just the day before
you had fallen far
in my estimations.

My fingernails scream
Bursting with contrast against my fingers
Against my skin
Is that why you don’t love me,
Because my fingernails scream?

My hair is not the same
It curls in ecstasy around my fingers
Hiding my screaming fingernails
Like a lovers embrace.
But do you not love me, because my hair is not the same?

My eyes will never be as light, or bright
Or lovely as yours tonight,
But dark as the contrasting night
Is that why you don’t love me, because my eyes are not as bright?

Take me as you see me,
A shade of depth against the deep,
Or something that you cannot see,
Or fully comprehend.
Don’t tell me you don’t love me, because you do not comprehend.

Laughter climbs this brick wall
Rusted and crumbling,
Crumbled and rusting,

Deteriorating, until the laughter itself crumbles,
Lost between its porous exterior.
And what is left behind crawls
Scraping its underbelly against the crumbling
Carried along silken ribbons.

Trapped amidst my curtains
Tossed between, and inside, and among, my white lace curtains.
It comes to rest beside my head,
laid on my pillow, my silken-laced pillow.

Sliding deep into my ear
laughter soon gurgles from my lips.
Crawling along my tongue’s terrain,
leaving its waste for me to taste.

Echoed emptiness resounds.

Laughter. Your sustenance has left this place.
Taking with it happiness, lost along the way.

Taking with it happiness, lost among the bricks
Rusted and crumbling,
Crumbled and rusting.

Last night I had a dream of you dying
the frantic pulse of your jugular pushed against my inner palm
as I strangled you steadily.

Your eyes bulged,
and your teeth clenched
as your fingernails scraped the skin from my wrists

This dream of you dying was lucid
I woke
chest heaving
catching a sidelong view of you
sleeping soundly.