I would swallow my pride,
I would choke on the rinds......

But the lack there of,
would leave me empty inside.....

Swallow my doubt,
turn it inside out.....

Find nothing,
but faith in nothing.....

Want to put my tender,
heart in a blender.....

Watch it spin around,
to a beautiful oblivion.....

I burn, burn like a wicker cabinet,
chalk white and oh so frail......

I see our time has gotten stale.....
The tick tock of the clock is painful....

All sane and logical,
I want to tear it off the wall......

I hear words and clips and phrases....
I think sick like ginger ale....

My my thoughts are now only stale.....
My stomach turns and I exhale....

So Cal is where my mind states.....
But it's not my state of mind....

I'm not as ugly, sad as you....
Or am I origami, folded up and just pretend....

Demented as the motives in your head....
Your feelings show no emotions.....

I alone am the one you don't know.....
You need take heed, feed your ego....

Make me blind when your eyes close....
Sink when you get close, tie me to the bedpost....

I alone am the one you don't know....
You need, you don't know you need me....

Rendezvous then I'm through,
now I'm through with you......

As the pain of the knife i felt stabbing me in the back
The black whole and black universal abyss pirate treasure map cracked
Open seasame on seasomy street elmo and big bird snack
The plate and tunnel vision tube with birning pictures attack...
The records of archives and tape recorder ******
Maxing out credit cards until andromada Pandora bOX crack
Thankfully the painting on the picture in the kitchen MATCh MAX
Max a million in mortal and immortals WW{3} combat
The water is broken and the paint on the Mona Lisa cheek smack
Still with a poker face straight face held in perfection barracks
One military commander and commandress controlling a corporation sleeping sack
In church with briefcase packed
My relm is never out of wack
Black cat crosses ducks quack
Ducking and dodging paper stacked

It starts with one

One thing I don't know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time

All I know

Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away

It’s so unreal

Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn’t even know
I wasted it all just to watch you go

I kept everything inside
and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to be
will eventually be a memory of a time when

I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

One thing, I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard

In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me

I’m surprised it got so far
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end

His intrepid mind
His weakened heart
His boxed out life
He's losing sight

His charismatic thoughts
His empty soul
His losing spirit
He's growing old

His thought bewildered
His thoughts were quick
His winning mind
He's lacking life

Wanted for his mind
But not for what he is
He spends his time alone
With only books

He now reads about love
The one thing he doesn't know
Trying to fill
His empty soul

It is a start
To the heart
This man of brilliance
Wants love in his heart

I don't want to spend the rest of my life
Looking down the barrel of an Armalite

I don't want to spend the rest of my days
Keeping out of trouble like the soldiers say

I don't want to spend my time in hell
Looking at the walls of a prison cell

I don't ever want to play the part
Of a statistic on a government chart

It's dark all day and it glows all night
Factory smoke and acetylene light

I face the day with me head caved in
Looking like something that the cat brought in

And they're only going to change this place
By killing everybody in the human race

They would **** me for a cigarette
But I don't even wanna die just yet

There has to be an invisible sun
It gives its heat to everyone

There has to be an invisible sun
That gives us hope when the whole day's done

Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wensday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday

I don't want to spend the rest of my life
Looking at the barrel of a gun

I don't want to spend the rest of my days
Keeping out of trouble like the soldiers say

I don't want to spend my time in hell
Looking at the walls of a prison cell

I don't ever want to play the part
Of a statistic on a government chart

It's dark all day and it glows all night
Factory smoke and acetylene light

I face the day with me head caved in
Looking like something that the cat brought in

And they're only going to change this place
By killing everybody in the human race

They would **** me for a cigarette
But I don't even wanna die just yet

There has to be an invisible sun
It gives its heat to everyone

There has to be an invisible sun
That gives us hope when the whole day's done

I am the deceiving
I am the hurting one
I am the monster of pain

I will lick you softly
With my acid laced tounge

I will eat you from head to toe
You won't feel the same
When I'm done with you

Vicarious in ways
Pealing your skin back
Only to pour salt in your wounds

As I gently scrape the retinas of your eyes with my jagged razor blade

I see your passionate blood
Run down my fingers

You'll feel my hand inside your chest
Pumping your heart

Holding you up with a noose to keep you alive.

As your face goes pale and your lips turn blue.

I've only kept you alive to say
I once loved you

I am the deceiving
I am the hurting one
I am the monster of pain

I will lick you softly
With my acid laced tounge

I will eat you from head to toe
You won't feel the same
When I'm done with you

Vicarious in ways
Pealing your skin back
Only to pour salt in your wounds

As I gently scrape the retinas of your eyes with my jagged razor blade

I see your passionate blood
Run down my fingers

You'll feel my hand inside your chest
Pumping your heart

Holding you up with a noose to keep you alive.

As your face goes pale and your lips turn blue.

I've only kept you alive to say
I once loved you

I remember when I first saw you....
I wondered if I could love you....

I remember when we first talked....
I wondered if you liked me...

I remember when we first dated....
I wondered if you would kiss me...

I remember when we first kissed...
I wondered if you could love me...

I remember when you told me you loved me...
I wondered if you would marry me.....

I remember when I asked you to marry me...
I wondered how I could show you my love....

I remember when we consummated our marriage...
I wondered about raising our children together...

I remember when we had our first child...
I wondered how much more I loved you.....

I will always remember our life as we grow old,
and never wonder about our love......

I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything feels like the movies
Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am
I just want you to know who I am

sitting on this barstool
talking like a **** fool
got the twelve o'clock news blues

i've given up hope
on the afternoon soaps
with a bottle of cold brew

is it any wonder I'm not crazy
is it any wonder I'm sane at all

well I'm so tired of losing
but I got all day to do it

i go out cruising but I've no place to go
and all night to get there

is it any wonder I'm not a criminal
is it any wonder I'm not in jail

too much time on my hands,
it's ticking away with my sanity
it's hard to believe such a calamity

well I'm a jet fuel genius
i can solve the world's problems
without even trying

i have dozens of friends
and the fun never ends
that is as long as I'm buying

is it any wonder i'm not the president
is it any wonder I'm null and void

is it any wonder that i've got
to much time on my hands

Life's not a fairy tale.

There's no one skipping around picking daisy's.

It's about making a paycheck and keeping a gun out your mouth.

Literally speaking.

Like a stone...
I feel alone...

Hoping for motion...
A glimpse of change...

A back wet ally....
Where the black cat strays....

Only a half moon....
As the night turns to day...

In the sun's rays,
I now begin to pray....

For a life,
that I cannot find....

Caught in a illusion,
where colors constantly change...

I dream about love,
but some call it ***...

As my life has become splintered....
I try not to hurt...

Hurt comes in only one form,
which eats at the heart...

I wait for it to pass.....
Only to know it's coming back...

With passion comes pain...
With hope comes let downs...

If I was a tree,
I could only fall....

Like a dog without a bark....
I could only moan...

So what can I do....
What can I say....

To feel that love,
I felt that very first day...

I feel that love is somewhat over rated at times
I hope that it can only get better as i grow older
I feel that it should, but I don't usually count on it

I don't always seem to understand what I do
Even though I've done it many, many times before  
Love always seems to feel somewhat strange

When I fall in love, it can make me feel uncomfortable
When I fall out of love, I feel the same way, why
I just can't quite seem to figure out these feelings

I just hope I can find that one girl, that one fine jewel
Something I never ever want to let go of and to cherish
That one girl that can remove these feeling of uncertainties

I hope that one day my feet can firmly footed in this life
I hope that one day I rise above my feelings of uncertainties
I hope that one day I overcome the feelings of love being overrated

Lonely as the darkened light
Drifting by the shores

wounded by emotions
with no words spoken

as you walk in your own thoughts
through thunderbolts of lighting

drowning in you waves
little secrets turn to gray

smile-less laughter
dancing with a life

with your frozen words
little secrets or big ones

all the stories you tell
empty meaningless words

is it something you take to your grave
lose you mind over or just live your life

deepest lies
you sometimes can't high

back doors and hiding thoughts
you try to leave behind

but nothing seems to fit
isn't it something

you don't won't it
but what can you do

nothing worse
isn't it something

the waiting is driving me mad,
I try to put this past behind

I see myself like a picture
I just want to be free

Free from what I hold
These thoughts inside

That I must hide

When I met her
I told her to watch her heart

I'm not very giving and
I don't mean to be misleading

But you can to me
Not I to you

You say that you only want ***
And that's fine by me

I will not be your lover
Because that's not me

I have no time for games
But we can have *** as much as we can

The day you say you love me
Is the day it will end

I told you in the beginning
That I was not looking for a girl

I don't like controlling
Someone else's world

Love is great
But I don't like heart aches

Things that you could do
Would only make me blue

I hear in life, that there is a spirit that can change my soul.

They say it will make me a believer and make me whole.

I've looked all my life and found nothing but pain.

I always hurting and always feeling shame.

When I talk about life from within.
I often wonder and sometime's ponder.

I look every day to find this spirit.

I hear his name is the holy ghost and he is the spirit.

Is this something real or just a fantasy in life.

Can he change my life to who I want to be.

Can he be the one to set my mind free

Has the unusual ever happen to you
Something you cannot explain

We can only try to justify these thoughts
Through our own reasoning

What is the unexplained
Is there a reason for this

Do we waste time to figure this out
Do we let just pass because

But why can't we drop it
Why can't it be forgotten

Is it just me or is it
A factor of the brain

From the green goblin,
to superman....

To the *** on the street,
to the handy man...

With lives to be saved,
from hurt and pain...

Who can tell the ***,
he's not insane...

Is there a would be doctor,
that can cure hurt and pain...

With superman to the rescue,
he is slightly distracted....

There's a naked girl in the window,
planning her grave full of hurt and pain...

Superman is now Clark Kent,
with a storey to be made..

With death in the air,
and to the people who stare...

There's the handyman,
with a wrench in hand..

He has love in his heart,
but doesn't know where to start.

With the green goblyin on his way,
enjoying the freight..

Watching the crazy people,
full of delight...

Who can save this world,
from hurt and pain...

Is there a super hero,
that can make this claim..

As the sun reigns it's light on me
The darkness now cast it's shadow

My footprints are no longer clear
As they are covered briefly by the night

I'v been told in times of darkness there would be pain
But in times of darkness, I feel, I can hide my shame

As the sun again roars it's head of beauty to most
It only makes things quit clear of how ****** up I am

As the day light shine's I begin to lose my mind
I pray for the dark to ease my thoughts

Will the light always keep me in freight
or
Is this darkness the new hope for my life

i come with roses to your grave threw rain or shine
with a tear drop in my eye, so sad but my hearts alive

i come to tell you, how much i love you
you were my first and you will be my last

i stand here and think of our memerious of love
so vivid, so bright, so happy, with you in my life

i built my life around you and now i'm getting older
yet my love is fresh for you and always will

i would climb a moutain, just to say i love you
and to sit by your side

i now have a snow covered life from your tears of joy above
a life of happiness, love and forgiveness in heaven

20 years later i still feel the same
it feels like the first time i said

i love you

did you ever wished to be somewhere
and then you get there and wonder why

did you ever want to see somebody
and then they turn out to be let down

did you ever want to see something special
and then you see it and say, you've got to be kidding

did you ever pay big money for something
and say what the hell is this

did you ever wanted to be with a certain girl
and finally hookup and she turns you off

did you ever think of eating at a new place
and the food and service was ****

things we sometimes expect are usually let downs
yet things we don't look for are the most fulfilling

My heart is broke
And I think I have some glue

If you can help me figure it out
And glue all the pieces together

We can hang out today
And play on the clouds

We can play scrabble
Yet, I think I lost my mind

I have a crystal ball to see the future
Yet, I think it's clear and empty

We can picnic by the riverside
Yet, the river is dry

We can toast to a great life
Yet, I have no glasses

We can ride of together into the sunset
Yet, my horses legs are broke

Please blindfold me before you burn my eye's
Cover mty ears becre they are filled with your tears

Sew your mouth shut it only speaks lies
Your presence only sickens my heart

Tbe things you do
The things you say
The actions you portray
Have no meaning

And I actually that
You were a friend

The two biggest things
That will change your life is
Attitude and love

With attitude and love
Comes confidence

With confidence
Comes satisfaction

A life that we all live for
Now keep god in your heart
And you will be unstoppable

As I have given to God
He has doubled back to me

As I slowed down with him
He did the same to me

Now that I'm back with him
He is back with me

These are not just words
This is how my life went

He has now brought me
Back my wealth
I will never lose it again

What I thought was strange
Is that the more I give away now
The more I get back

If you have it all......
Remember, you could lose it all....

If you think you have your **** together....
It could easily wither away....

To learn to be happy.....
You first must be sad to know the real meaning....

Is heartache really about Love or selfishness....

Heartache goes away,
but selfishness does not...

When does one change their ways.....
When does one accept reality.....

When does one quite putting them self first.....

I have learned in life the more I help others....
The easier things come to me in life....

Have you ever bought a hungry family groceries...
Have you ever put gas in a persons car who has no money.....
Have you ever tried to guide our youth.....
Have you ever actually helped the homeless.....
Have you ever let someone cry on your shoulder....

Life is not about one,
It's about many.....

Finished with this thing they called life,
I can find no one to help me with my mind.

People think I'm insane because,
I am frowning all the time.

All day long I think of things,
but nothing seems to satisfy.

Think I'll lose my mind,
if I don't find something to pacify me.

Can you help me occupy my brain?

I need someone to show me,
the things in life that I can't find.

I can't see the things that make true happiness,
I must be blind

Make a joke
and I will sigh
and you will laugh
and I will cry

Happiness I cannot feel and love to me is so unreal

And so as you hear these words,
telling you now of my state.

I tell you to enjoy life,
I wish I could but it's too late

Time to change has come and gone....
Watch your fears become your God....

It's your decision?
It's your decision…

Overwhelmed, you chose to run....
Apathetic to the stunned....

It's your decision?
It's your decision…

You feed the fire that burned you....
To feel the pain that spurs you….

It's your decision?
It's your decision…

No one plans to take the path that brings one down...
And here you stand before me and say it's over...

It's your decision?
It's your decision…

Yes, it might seem to be your first thought...
Yes, it hurts to you know you're bought...

It's your decision?
It's your decision…

The lies we tell ourselves to overcome...
To **** those feelings of what we want...

It's your decision?
It's your decision…

We sit and watch the clock...
Waiting for the feelings to die...

It's your decision?
It's your decision…

To read a mind could be a dangerous fate....
To live a life of lies is a big mistake.....

To pose and play games is a shame.....
To live a life of drama leads to despair....

To love and joy.....
To hurt and pain.....

From the times of our past...
To the times of our future....

What life holds for us, is for us to direct....
To give security and respect to the one's we protect....

The rules in life will always change....
Just be prepared to do the same....

To death and fate...
To heaven and hell....

From God above to the one's we tell....
It's your life so live it well.....