i try to love my self more then you
but it can't be done and I don't complain

i try to recognize these familiar feeling
trying to light my candle of thoughts

memories are like finger prints
as yours are stuck upon the shelf

hearts and thoughts will fade away
but the meaning i try to hold onto

x
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Don't cut out my paper heart
I'm not dead just yet

Take a look at my eye's full of fire
Never trust a filthy liar

Slipping into the *****
Singing the blues

All dressed for that special day
Yet I keep tripping on the news

I say that I'm not myself
But I'm not dead and I'm not for sale

So keep your bankroll lottery
Eat your salad days deathbed motorcade

You fake the heat and scratch the itch
With your skinned up knees and salty lips

I won't breathe your vick's vapor life
I cringe when you all purge alike

It's only getting harder to hold onto
Yet one more trip and I'll be gone

So I'll keep my head up
While you try to keep my life down

Take a breath and make it big
It's the last you'll ever get

Break your neck with that diamond noose
It's your last chance will you ever choose

Nobody will be my master
Soul searching is quite the notion

So just let me be

Where do bad folks go when they die
They don't go to heaven where the angels fly

They go to the bottom of a fire and fry
And I won't see them again until I die

I knew many who took their last breath
With a needle in their arm and you know the rest

They went to their grave just a little too soon
They flew away howling on the yellow moon

Now these people cry and these people moan
They look for a good place to call their home

They try to find some place to rest their bones
While the demons and the devils try to make them their own

They go to the bottom of a fire and fry

If you could only see the way she loves me
Then maybe you would understand

Why I feel this way about our love
And what I must do

If you could only see how blue her eyes can be when she says
When she says she loves me

Well you got your reasons
And you got your lies

And you got your manipulations
They cut me down to size

Saying you love but you don't
You give your love but you won't

When she says she loves me
Seems the road less traveled

Show's happiness unraveled
And you got to take a little dirt

To keep what you love
That's what you gotta do

Saying you love but you don't
You give your love but you won't

You're stretching out your arms to something that's just not there
Saying you love where you stand

Give your heart when you can
If you could only see the way she loves me

Within I grace
      Thee with wings
             O' lovely and true  

Birds of heavenly  
      Snow and crystal
            
Fly my love            
      As you have before
            
Pleasure in only steps
      And this........
        
                    Just once more

It was our spring time in life
It was our love you left behind
It was our love blown away by the wind
It was our house that was full of sin

It is now the summer of my smiles
It is now that the new flowers that will rise
It is now my new love that will arouse
It is now my new house of emotions

It is now fall were things always change
It is now my dying thoughts of you
It is now my wonders of devotion
It is now my new house of love

It is now the winter were things grow old
It is now only my chilling past with you
It is now my confusing thoughts of you
It is now my house of pain that misses you

Have I told you lately

Your B ad
Your I nconsiderate
Your T houghtless
Your C old
Your H ateful

Have I told you lately
What I think of you

lies and tales that can't be told
the truth that I hold can't be sold

the things that I see
the things that I know
the people I see
the places I go

lo and behold
the truth and the lies

the people we hurt
the people that die

the people we love
the people that cry

the one's who care
the one's who are there

the one's we keep
the ones we leave

the one's that help
the one's that don't

the friend's we find
are the friend's we keep

I got a little women
who looks so fine

I got a little women
who stays drunk all the time

I got a little woman
who steals all the time

I got a little who
who I ball all the time

I got a little women
who won't be true

She's my little street corner girl

I will choke until I swallow...
Choke this infant here before me.
What is this but my reflection?
Who am I to judge and strike you down?

But you're pushing and shoving me.
You still love me and you pushit on me.

Rest your trigger on my finger,
bang my head upon the fault line.

Take care not to make me enter.
because if I do we both may disappear.

But you're pushing me,
Shoving me. Pushit on me.

Slipping back into the gap again.
I'm alive when you're touching me,
Alive when you're shoving me down.

But i'd trade it all
For just a little bit of
Piece of mind.

Put me somewhere I don't wanna be.
Seeing someplace I don't wanna see.
Never wanna see that place again.

Saw that gap again today
As you were begging me to stay.
Managed to push myself away,
And you, as well.

If, when I say I may fade like a sigh if I stay,
You minimize my movement anyway,
I must persuade you another way.

There's no love in fear.

Staring down the hole again.
Hands upon my back again.
Survival is my only friend.
Terrified of what may come.

Just remember I will always love you,
Even as I tear your ******* throat away.
But it will end no other way.

Take,
if you want a slice
Take,
if you want a piece
Take,
if it feels alright

Break,
if you like the sound
Break,
if it gets you up
Break,
if it brings you down

Share,
If it makes you sleep
Share,
If it sets you free
Share,
If it helps you breathe

Cry,
if you want to cry
Cry,
if it helps you to see
Cry
if it clears your eye's

Hate,
if you want to hate
Hate,
if it keeps you safe
Hate
if it makes you brave

Pray,
if you want to pray
Pray,
if you like to kneel
Pray,
if you like to lay

Don't come over here and **** on my grave
Just keep it off my wave

Feeling a life of self driven pain
Pushing myself to the life's edge

Feeling like a loser is only getting older
My soul that I lost, I must try to find

Holding on to my last bit of hope
I  sometimes feel myself getting closer

Only to know many years have gone by
So many mile separate me from my life

My life keeps rolling through the pain
I hear that life is somewhat overrated

But I will always try to find that life
The life that I will not know until I find it

Someone I knew all my life
but always blew him off

I cried his name many times
during times of sorrow

I talked to him and begged
only when I needed help

When i got in trouble
I always told him this is the last time

When she broke my heart
I asked him why

When things always went wrong
I thought he was punishing me

How wrong of me
To only talk to him during bad times

He's a great man
He's a forgiving man
He's a loving man

If you know him
I shouldn't have to tell you who he is

We shouldn't have to wait for bad times
to spend time with him

Spend time with him
when time are good

I'll bet you this, if you do,
things will only get better

There a mirror world inside of me
That no one can ever see
A person that I never wanted to be

There secrets in my life that I try to hide
Is it my following wit or am I just blind

somewhere in this darkness
is there a light that I can find

If I only had someone to
Hold me when I'm scared
Push me when I'm wrong
Love me when I'm gone

Everything I was
Everything I am
Everything that is wrong

Can I ever find myself