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 Dec 2011 Kiagen McGinnis
Quinn
I am beautifully ******
in a zone wedged between
perfection and pleasure

perched on a throne of swans
with star's light illuminating my gaze

I wander through intricate plucking
into a field full of fresh, wet snow
I sway there, the sun warming my face

music ends and I'm still blissfully lost
next to the garden of my mom's first apartment

I stare into the tree of life's center
hoping that if I look deep enough
I'll find answers of what's to come and what has passed

Adam and Eve grin at me devilishly
and I want for nothing more than an apple
they say
plant your fingertips against something
solid and concentrate on what is at hand
but all I have been able to see behind my eyelids
for many months is your face
and the wood resounds with the beating of your heart

love is a sad kind of trouble
for, knowing what its like to
exist unwavering in perfect happiness,
I have the days I have to fake my way through it.

Plant your fingertips against something solid and concentrate.
I put my hands on your heart, I focus on your rhythm.
los latidos del tu corazón son hermosos, por cierto

ellos dicen
planta alcance de su mano en contra de algo
sólida y concentrarse en lo que está en la mano
pero todo me que han sido capaces de ver detrás de mis párpados
por muchos meses es tu cara
y resuena la madera con los latidos de tu corazón

es una amor especie tristeza de angustia
por, sabiendo lo que su como para
existen en perfecta felicidad inquebrantable,
tengo los dias tengo que fingir mi camino a través de ella.

planta alcance de su mano contra algo sólida y concentrarse.
pongo mis manos sobre tu corazón, me centro en tu ritmo.
You told them the other day
that you felt clear-headed, confident, and genuinely happy.
Wonder why you haven't told me yet.
Maybe you thought I wouldn't want to know.
Doesn't matter I guess.
I knew after that bike ride you took to the bay,
the one with all those willow trees,
that you longed for the knife of that butcher.
That butcher guy that you used to hang around with.
What's his name again..
Doesn't matter I guess.
I just wish you would tell me why you are so happy.
 Nov 2011 Kiagen McGinnis
Quinn
tonight was the last time
i'd walk into my yard
without shoes on
and not lose my toes
to the frost that breathes on the back
of our necks
even though the shine from the sun
still freckles our faces

i stood there and held steady
as bailey ran figure eights around me
weaving in and out of the rhododendrons
knowing just how long his leash would reach
before his collar snagged on his windpipe

i looked over the fence,
saw that your light was on,
but i knew you were gone
being pumped full of formaldehyde
and by now they had cut you open
and taken out my favorite part of you

i thought of the time when i was just four
and you rolled over on that ride on mower
wearing that old hat you'd gotten
back when they called you the anaconda
your skin was like chocolate and i thought to myself,
now that man looks delicious

my daddy handed me to you over the fence
and i sat on your lap, we mowed your two acres together
you singing stevie wonder, me singing the beatles
back and forth we went until every last blade was clipped

i rolled down the sledding hill and you smoked your cigar
and laughed when i got up and couldn't figure out
if i was looking up at the sky or down at the earth

and when your big hands
held my tiny shoulders
the world stopped spinning
i looked down and there was
the tiny gold locket that i still have today

my momma called me for dinner
and you picked me up,
put me on my side of the fence
and winked at me like you always did
but that day was different, that day you said,
erin ann, you're the daughter i never had

i know that the blood
that runs from my heart to my brain
to my finger tips as they write this
is not the blood that no longer
races through your veins,
but lord knows,
that won't make
watching them throw the dirt
on top of you
any easier
I climb up onto the roof of your car,
take off my shirt, and howl at the moon.
And you look at me with those weird eyes.
I pawned all my stuff for those pretty flowers
that bloom inside me when youre around.
And that sticky spot on the bedspread,
that I lap up like sour milk.
And I will make you pure like me,
eat the garbage from your entrails,
put your blood in dialysis bags,
And I'll put on my seal skin and crawl under you,
but you will remain a skeleton,
my salt lick lover,
and we will make our bed on the banks of the river.
We’ll lay around and get drunk
and youll laugh at all my jokes
while tiny bugs gnaw at my feet.
capricious
arabesque
undulate
clientele
juxtaposition
visceral
il­luminati
illustrious
canticle
piecewise
chantry
tealeaves
evenson­g
quixotic
Twenty-somethings, homeless,
but with perfect fashion,

in muted greys and translucent lilacs
sit outside Union Square.

They have the coolest tattoos
and the coolest carboard signs,

all more transcendental and valuable
than the sidewalk they sleep on.

Some are tweaking, some are sleep,
some lean and have spit dribbling

from their burned lips as they drift
into a coma, like war heroes.

I want to give them a bowl
of my homemade vegan chili.

They can have cheese and sour cream,
depending how righteous they are.

I want to speak sweetly with their mothers
while they prune geraniums
along the cracked and faded sidewalk.

I wont smoke in their parent's garage
like an outcast uncle,
or have more than one beer with dinner.

The next day I’ll go back to the storefront
to explain everything I've learned, over
instant coffee and Entenmanns.

This time it's their turn to share wisdom
as 13th Street muscles from slumber,
achy under the weight of lost bodegas
and barbershops.

I’ve been told every homeless person needs a sign,
no matter what variation or breed.

Some write a new message every day, some stick to one,
but only a few don’t write anything at all.

“Not even gonna lie:
need money for bud.”

The pulse behind the sign renders words irrelevant.

The 500 year old Chinese woman captures the room
like a drunk teenager.

The oily scarecrow with a leather hat dances,
rattling his tin can.

Only occasionally will an assertive hungry hobo be satisfied
with a granola bar in place of anything less than Jackson.

“This is what it sounds like,
when the doves cry.”

Southern church bells ringing through dive bars filled with sinners.
and you kept talking
and weeping
and telling me how sad you were
how you destroyed our family
how you can't believe you've done all the things you did
how all you want is your family back
you said this with tears in your eyes
tears falling down your face
and i looked at our son
closed in the back seat of your truck
dimple caving into his sweet smiling cheek
clueless, deaf to the words spilling out of  your mouth
you said you think i tune out at times
tune out when you're talking about these important, meaningful things
things you keep talking about, ranting about
and i looked again at our son, dimp-ly smiling in the back of the truck
so i put a red trader joe's bag over my head
tuned completely out
did a little dance
waved goodbye to darling little Tanner
tuned out until the next time
tuned out and walked away
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