my tea is gone

my foot is asleep

my brain is messy

maybe now i will let myself

                             drift

muted, soft, numb

as snow in the night

if
moods
are
swings

i'm the kid who jumps from too        high

and scrapes both knees on the gravel.

in the quiet
and
the
           loud
in the spaces
and
the     crowd

i miss what we almost were

my heart is a ghost

creaking
invisibly
trailing
posterior
fluttering
its
eyelashes
on my neck

hurry (!) a glimpse behind  ---

nothing. cracked hardwood & a shadowysortofsorrow.

rainy through the window
he walks.
away from my desperate silence,
away from my wordless
burdened
                           fears.

torturously, this mindvideo repeats
why didn't you follow? echoesechoesechoes inside

could have;
ran through drops, grabbed his hand, buried into flannel,cried,grazed his face
              said things
          meant things

he scuffles away through soggy leaves.

quarter-heartedly, my hopes mumble: he will look back.