there are burn holes in my skin where you touched me
i wish i could rid your smell
from my clothes
but it clings on like
cigarette smoke to my hands
i want to drink 6 cups of bleach
and brush my teeth with powdered lye
but even that wont scrub you
from the walls of my heart
i dont even love you anymore
but yet here you are
still haunting me
everywhere i go
you follow
and everywhere i hide
you find me
leave me alone
leave me alone
leave me
alone

you are the soothing hum
the grass stains on my jeans
the summer in my hair
the color in my cheeks
you are the the constant wave
beating against my heart
the warm honey on my lips
the paint on my nails
you are the perfect dance
and a moonlit ride
the sticky vanilla cream
you are the flower in my palm
the reason I smile
the chills down my spine
you are more than you'll ever know
you are the love of my life

I can lay
right next to you
and never touch you

I can see you smile
from across the room
without kissing you

I can watch you
leave the room
and resist hugging you goodbye

But sometimes
when I'm next to you
you have to ask me to move away

Because for a few minutes
I let fantasy get confused with reality
and I lean against you during a movie

And it's so warm
your arm and mine, touching
for that minute I'm at peace

But when you ask
of course I make room
Because I don't want you to feel uncomfortable

And if you weren't my friend
I would probably try it
just once, to know what it would be like to kiss you

But ideally,
I'll get over this
and when I am, we'll still be friends

So in the meantime
I try not to think about kissing you
and I only hug you when I have reason to

What I'm saying is
I will do what I can
to keep myself sane and our friendship intact

But just know
that with every look I give
I wish I could give so much more.

I had built a wall
Layer by layer
Mortar and stone

Until it was so high
And so strong
I thought no one could break it.

But I overlooked something
Because when I was done
There you were.

You just slipped right past my wall
Without even noticing its presence.
I was too surprised to push you out.

And then a funny thing happened
I was happy
And at peace with the world

And reconsidering my wall
Reconsidering
What I was protecting myself from.

I didn't have much of myself
To give away
But I gave you some of what was left

But not so much
That it would destroy me
To have to take it back.

Because I'd been though that before
I gave away so much
And still most of it is gone.

I've been hurt into being
More cautious with my feelings
Than I used to be.

And it turned out to be
A good thing
A blessing inside a curse

Because when you gave that piece back
It hurt
But I knew it could have been worse.

Because you can't break something
That's already been broken
By another.

There wasn't any part of me I gave you
That you could destroy
I didn't give you that.

I keep my heart close to me
Because it belongs to another
You were only borrowing what I had left.

So I will be fine
Because I've been through worse
And you are not my Kryptonite.

The people that come into our lives
do so for a reason
It may only be for a day or a month
or may just be for a season

But when two paths cross, no matter how brief
There's a lesson somewhere to be learned
It may be just that we're on the wrong path
and there's a corner that needs to be turned

It may be to teach us that we can still fly
and soar in the heavens above
or it may be a brief and torrid affair
to show us that we can still love

And maybe my words are speaking to you
and I'm part of some message you need
To show you the signs that surround you
so between the lines you can read.