drag me by my finger tips
scrape across the floor
dislocating, tearing, stretching,
disinigrating oh so slow.

mutilated piece by piece
you destroy my innocence
lost in this trembling sensation
my body does it quake.

grief occupies
my only space
disgrace is all
that fills me up.

deathly silence
stretches high
clinging tightly
in these lingering thoughts.

lead me on another path
distract so it cannot continue
now i know...it is you
my souls true obsession.

The beauty of a unicorn,

Solitary riding through the night,

Blinding all around it,

With reality changing spite.

Gracefully it exits,

And all around are sad,

But it's lone rider,

Will never be glad.

To others it's existence,

Is quite questionable,

Wondering about it,

Not caring who it did disable.

Remembering the elegance,

Perfection did it hold;

Every other won't compare,

No matter how bold.

The rider had some others,

But it never works out,

For even though their his brothers,

Out the differences do shout.

Desire for its return,

But it cannot be,

For no one can match,

Or be good enough for me.

Life takes and gives,

But in the case, won't give back,

I wish it never left,

For my heart it did attack.

I am the lone rider,

And Daniel was my horse,

This is my constant reminder,

Of how it feels to remorse.

Stuck in a trance
Unable to see
Waltzing with the angel
Mixing in her darkness.

Questioning your every remark
As well as insanity
Run into the valley
Let the shadow of death consume me.

Delicious misery
Has consent to do no good
Dependent on them
Any who come along.

Spawn of the devil
Argument with innocence
Bitter sweet intensions
In this game called love.

she wears a smile
cover up the pain
this time her triumph
is anothers gain...
although i love you
it doesn't change the fact
you walk away
wedding dress intact...
face in your pillow
don't shed your precious tears
your love for someone
will cover up your fear...
lay down my darling
hide that face of yours
internal pain
is not what leads to scars...
you don't know it
but i am in your arms
looking into your eyes
and capturing your charm...
that girl is me
loving who you are
wishing she wasn't
watching from afar.

step out
from the scorche
feel the moment
see its beat.
blue like ice
covering.
thick as glue
streaming.
all in slow
barely movement
fading away
leaving brightness
embracing dark.

combine my pains once numbed
dig up what were healing wounds
break open my scars
make this guilt consume.

cringe at the thought
it thunders through me
making me want
what can destroy me.

i am the canvas
make me what you like
satisfy your desires
as you forget mine.

control my every move
im not an individual
molded to your every need
but soon to be scolded.

my human nature to disobey
as i rebel one last
no matter what i once said
there's still something besides the past.

The rush of intoxication
With it's secret demise
Drawing you in closer
If only you were wise.

The promise of satisfaction
Erasing what eats you alive
Going to new lows each time
As into another life you dive.

An overwhelming desire
To ease the discomfort
You don't see the consequences
Naive to all the hurt.

You fall on misfortune
Having sealed your fate
Deepening your desire
Becoming that which you hate.

Slowly you become a shell
Of the person you once were
You can lose yourself
Into darkness she will lure.

Cringing from the pain
On both body and mind
Trying to tame her
Too wicked to find.

Begging to depart
You fight to break away
In moment of clarity you realize
The cravings will stay.

The words I hear about you,

Cut me like my knife,

'Cuz when I think about you,

Crimson tears begin to cry.

No one really realizes,

What you were to me,

And now I keep on trying,

To just let go.

But moving on is hard,

And when people bring you up,

They don't see the pain in my eyes,

My wounds that haven't healed.

Why does this still hurt me?

I should be over this,

But I can't seem to pull away,

From my old life,

My old friends.

It truly hurts,

I'll tell you,

To feel the way I feel.

To have this pain,

Now on my heart,

Permanently tattooed.

kiss away the ache i feel
make it seem unreal
take me from this place i hate
i will follow you my bate
stabbed through the heart
making it so it won't start
people along the way
twisted it to make me pay
kiss away the ache i feel
make it seem less real
wanting to touch your face
to be together in some place
keep me safe here
reflect the good in my mirror
together we do fall
on the pins and needles of it all
kiss away the ache i feel
make it seem not so real
always stay with me
for never your side will i flee
rejected by all
divided we fall
my love for you
remember it's true
kiss away the ache i feel
make it seem real
but I'm hurting
while we're flirting
the cravings are back
and me do they attack
hold me up in one arm
while the other keeps me from all harm
kiss away the ache i feel
please make it seem unreal.

this is my syringe,
hold it for me as i cringe,
a lifeless death soon will come to pass,
as i'm wishing my hearts last.
i'm dying slowly now,
but no one does it wow,
for i've never really been alive,
not since suicide first was tried.
it doesn't matter anymore,
i've finally robbed my life poor,
why does this fill me with glee?
as for my life i do not plea.
i wish for this to be the last time,
that i will ever write this rhyme,
to be finished and forgotten,
not giving a **** about my sin.
to be withe the one that i have always loved,
to hold him until he can no longer be hugged-
the room does spin and i hear her cry,
my best friend that is watching as i die.
she came to save me from myself,
she was to late, an inconvience only for herself,
i knew she'd be coming so i hit it strong,
knowing the purist wouldn't take too long-
to hit my heart to stop it's beat,
to finally feel cold from head to feet.
i left her one last kiss,
on a note that read simply this;
do not resuscitate is all i wish,
don't feel guilty for i did this,
i'll always love you but he means more,
you want me to be happy-this is that score.
the one thing i've wanted, now i do have,
if you feel guilty, my soul it will stab.
all of my poetry take and publish,
if they don't want it, seal with a kiss-
and lock it away, 'til you meat someone like me,
who won't let thoughts of suicide let them be.

God has his own plan,
For the ones we love,
Seldom do we understand,
The reasons from above.

The thought alone shocks us,
Wishing it not to be true,
Making our worlds stop,
How life can be cruel.

We all began to weep,
At the disbelief,
That you were truly gone,
Unable to fight the grief.

With emotions flooding us,
We try to accept that this is real,
Removing the hazy fog,
Trying to get through this ordeal.

Even for a moment longer,
We grasp to hold on,
Never wanting to let go,
But you’ve already moved on.

The knot in our hearts,
Will never fade away,
Missed but never forgotten,
With us you’ll always stay.

Engraved on our torn hearts,
Is our grief pouring out in song,
Over you precious memory,
Let our faith keep us strong.

Remember the love we feel,
All the memories we keep,
We’ll never let them fade away,
As you lay in eternal sleep.

Written By: Kerissa Rose
© Copyright April 2, 2010

A shadow cast overhead
Every step in darkness
What you've longed to see
Lingers just behind those eyes.

Lock the final door inside you
Use your hands to see
Step into your porcelain coffin
As it soon will be.

Let it slip between your fingertips
The ones who've longed to touch
Drag down through your palm
Feel your tendons push.

The memories that haunt you
Now pour out with grief
Soon you will feel nothing
Yet in your last moments, there is no release.

Your last thoughts cling to you
Holding you hostage
Suffocating you with reluctance
Flailing to stay true.

It is the only one
That will not fade away
The only one who brings regret
To where the blade is placed.

Your hearts final memory
Before it lets you part
Brings forth the face of a girl
The one you love so much...

Emotions trickle downwards
As you snap back, but not soon enough
Now she will never know
Because it's too late to be saved.

Too late to unlock the doors
And let her love come fill
Too late to have told her
She is why your heart beats still.

You grasp to hold on
But cannot fight the cold
Embrace the end now with ease
Swirling in your memories blood.

Brush away her bangs
As your hand falls down her face
Trace her jawline, slip a finger across
The lips you've longed to taste.

Her eyes flutter
Caught up in thought
Astonished to discover
You've felt this all along.

No words yet spoken
Just the crave of affection
Curiosity precedes her
As all reason is thrown away.

Freeze frame time,

Forever in these thoughts,

It only gets worse with time,

I can never go back to that spot.

I drive by your house,

And I am filled with pain,

But when I close my eyes,

I still see your face,

The fire in your eyes,

I never knew I'd come to hate.

The tears, the pain,

I cannot bare,

But it's too late,

You're not there.

You're not coming back,

You took your life,

Now I'll never relax.

Could this have been stopped?

Was there another way?

I will always have a knot,

In my heart to stay.

Do you see me all alone?

Looking at your name,

Starring at it carved in stone,

The image won't fade away.

There are no answers for me,

'Cuz the dead refuse to speak,

Nothing in life comes free,

But this truly makes me weak.

The crimson tears flow,

Like rain from the sky,

Now I'm dying slow,

I'll be with you in time.

There is no light, in my world,
The world deep inside,
Inside my soul like poison,
That haunts me day and night.

I cannot face the world,
When all I see is red,
I use my umbrella to stay alone,
Because I'm abandoned and afraid.

I'm trapped in this world of darkness,
The world full of pain,
No distinguisher to put out the flame,
That burns me up inside.

My furry strangles me helpless,
As I lie here to cry,
But it's been so long, I just can't,
They only pour-out on the inside.

Execute this pain that petrifies my soul,
Dull the suffering, so it seems less real,
I feel dizzy, alone and scared,
Dissolve this pain that sickens me.

It intimidates me, calling my name,
Luring me into its grasp,
The urge is to powerful,
But I must be strong.

I'm a weeping willow,
Without a single cry,
I can only cry on the inside,
Like Always.

My heart fell.
Shattering into oblivion.
All over the floor of my soul.
No longer could I feel
as the pieces began to fade.
But you scooped them up
out of nowhere.
Finding them hidden
you blew them in the air.
The warmth of your words
as you spoke to me
joined the pieces together,
stitched safely.
Next to my limp body
you patiently waited,
sat by my side.
You placed my blackened heart
onto my chest,
pushed it back-
into the **** it fell out of,
forcing it to start.
it starts to beat again
as the stitches slowly heal
and my heart turns purplely red.
I was empty inside
but now you've come and filled-
me to the brim with warmth.
Your love brought me back
from the hell I was in
now nothing else matters
but you-
and you alone.

Never ending darkness
As we fade away
Watching out for nothing
Are they wishing we could stay?

No one I would rather be with
As I forever fall
Misery and ecstasy
Knowing nothing at all.

Confusion and clarity
Drawing you closer
Hoping you will give in
to my biggest temptation.

Crash into my room
Slam the door
The picture of you falls
Cracks on the floor...

I ****** it up
And clutch it tight
Not seeing the shreds slicing
As tears blurr my sight...

All the broken glass
Soon will meet my broken heart
As my tears flow clear and crimson
I'm glad to see the ends start...

Your face soaked in my tears
As my soul drains
Nothing left to keep me here
All there is, is pain...

They will find me here with you
A smile left on my face
For all my pain will subside
And only my body will be in that place.

The red drops flow so smoothly,

Against my porcelain skin,

Making others shudder,

While just releasing what's within.



What you see as mutilation,

Doesn't cause me pain,

For as the tears flow from your eyes,

Mine flow from my veins.

When the tears of the sky, come out to play,
I am not willing, here I will stay,
Alone in the darkness, I am the bate,
But where are the monsters? they're showing up late.
The light of the moon, shines down on me,
As I reach up high, I'm almost free,
The bruises don't mask the true issue,
And when they see my skids, they know they are new.
It's then that I realize there are people here,
Thier eyes stare full of terror and fear,
Seeing the needles hang out of myarms,
But I can't be embarrassed, sending these alarms.
I don't know what I'm doing,
It's all become a blurr, constantly moving,
The focus is none, as i fade out,
Wanting the original high, when the cartoons pop out.
Now I see whats truly haunting me,
When I where these sleaves, the only one fooled is me,
So now before the end,
I ask you, Are you a true friend?

A tear of blood runs down her face

That only you can see

For no one wants to take her place

Not knowing who they'd be.

Time is not an issue

For all the clocks have stopped

It's as if she couldn't miss you

If the comforting stopped.

Although you are a stranger

You're destined to be her only friend

Now go to be with her

You'll be happy in the end.

I thought I'd send you roses
But they would soon die
I thought about sending chocolates
But there the empty box would lie.

Then I thought of sending balloons
But they would soon deflate
I thought I'd come out to see you
But I would show up too late.

What could I have gotten you
To express my love?
For nothing in this world
Lasts as my love does.

Ignore the torture
Ignore the pain
Hide it deep down
And never refrain.

Never remember
Never forget
Never have known
**** the commitment.

Not much longer
Your time is set
Now your heart
Can pay its debt.

Always leave
Always stay
Always know that
No one is on your side.

A downward spiral
***** you in
But you just let go
And go for a spin.

Forget to wonder
Forget to care
Forget to notice
You're even there.

Time long passed
With no relief
Only an escape
Can cover up your grief.

Compelled to hide
Compelled to leave
Compelled to shudder
When you pull down your sleeve.

Sometimes remember
Sometimes forget
But never mean never
Or death you have met.

the makeup's on,
it's now erased,
no one can see my face,
the bruises now,
only i can see,
when you try to strike at me.
no one will know,
it stays inside,
until i see you,
and we collide.
the pain you cause-
i hide away,
for i alone,
am meant to pay.
the more i scream,
the more you hit,
my pain propels you,
when you try again,
i have to stop,
i cannot fight,
it will end faster,
and then i can hide.
no one will understand,
until he goes too far,
and bruises lead to scars,
and one day, when he's done,
movement to me,
will not come.

Your face, those eyes
Boring into me
Piercing my heart
Increasing its beat.

Enchanted by you
The detail of your mystique
As you unthread your fingers
And out of my hands you seep.

Intensify my love
Draw you back in
Follow the beat
That leads you within.

Live up each day
For tomorrow we may be gone
But it would be worth it
For you are the one.

split in two
but must be one
the poison seeps inside
both sides are affected.
half of the heart, damaged severely
maybe behond return
but she was able to salvage
so a part of it
is poisoned no more.
she held on
taught what love is
the past, is past...
to live life to the fullest.
even without a piece
that once made you complete
live life as to what you can
and sacrifice nothing.
yet as it is with half a heart
every beat in agony
but even though it only slowly changes
she sits by my side patiently.

but even with its many holes
and cuts from all the pain
the heart is always hers to hold
this love will never change.

my love for you holds strong,
as my limbs fall weak,
and i long,
for you to here me speak.
to talk of how i miss,
the warmth of your embrace,
to think of our first kiss,
of your now expressionless face.
the day you left,
all was a blurr,
someone came and theft-
my heart poor.
reality passed,
and i did not comprehend,
i stood in shock,
the truth i tryed to bend.
now even as time has passed,
my life still does remain-
entangled in this,
still is my pain.
but if from this,
you only get a line,
remember this,
you will always be mine.

Tormented souls
Longing for answers
Search to hold
What they think are cures.

Countless times
At my beck and call
You'd come running
When I'd fall.

Gratify my lust
Wash away my desire
Give me what I long
You who I admire.

She came to my rescue
But couldn't see my defeat
And she is longing
Another's standards to meet.

cut me open
slice me deep
my love for you
is why I weep.

a deeper wound
with every word
these sensations
are not absurd.

I know in my heart
and in my soul
the feelings that we have
are out of our control.

How could they think
That this would stop me-
Cutting and ink
And the same thing mostly
The heartbreak and sorrow
That you feel right now
Even tomorrow
Won't hit me somehow.
These emotional scars
Held to my heart
Are the bars
That keep others out.

a rip, a tear, almost there,
kept in silence, kept in fear,
alone, forgotten,
forsaken, distraught,
step down from the stair,
and realize i am here,
see me for who i am,
stop thinking i'm one of them,
i don't judge, i don't care,
know that i'll always be there,
there to love you,
through and through,
here for you, to care,
promises i make i will not spare,
mutilated by the music,
you have a recourse so use it,
keep me with you for good,
i want this to be understood,
my love for you will not change,
never altering, always the same.

the craving runs deep,
clawing into her,
asking her to sink,
into what she once was.
sliding into a paradox,
no longer caring at all-
torn into nothing,
soon will be my porcelin doll.
beauty unmasked,
soon i won't see,
for the end of herself,
is all that will be.
i watch her destruction,
the death of who she was,
turn to be forgotten,
as if forever lost.

The pain is overflowing,

As the gun drops,

I hope you went knowing,

It made my world stop.

The thought of this destroys me,

Wishing it not to be true,

But I just hate to see,

How the truth can be so cruel.

Even as time has passed,

The pain does not go numb,

I want it to be over fast,

But my body won't play dumb.

Wishing to know that you are safe,

And watching over me,

Hoping to somehow see your face,

But It will never be.

The image of you
Floods my mind
All else I think of
Is the escape I must find.

I wish for you to hold me
Whisper to me that it's alright
Helping these temptations fade
Keep them away as you hold me tight.

Wash away the hurt from before
Cover up the pain with words you say
And even if only for a day
Capture this feeling and lure me away.

Everyday is a bad day now
No matter what happens
I can't shake this depression
In no way this feel bends.

I wish you were by my side
Even when I want to be gone
My love for you holds me hear
And keeps me almost strong.

I admit that I miss you
But it's too late
No one can take back
What was fate.

I gave my heart away
One more time today
Trembling, without ease
In his hands it does lay.

I wish I had asked them not to break
What heart I have left, after you
And to help me find the strength
To do what it is I must do.

But the pain is overwhelming
And the words won't come to me now
I know what I want to say
But I just don't know how.

Yes I do love you
This I know for sure
My love for him is forever
A love that's true, that's pure.

thread through your fingertips
enclose your hand in mine
walk with me to the light
as innocence is defined.

Capture your love
By stealing your heart
Blame me for nothing
Out of your way I dart.

A promise of patience
Comes from my lips
But you want more
Into old love you dip.

They say if I love you
I'll let you go
And if you come back
True love will show.

But neither one of us
Is ready for that commitment
To have our love
Be here concreted.

I cannot let you go
Hold you to my hearts doors
Keep you warm inside
My souls core.

Compulsion to escape
From this giant fear
Seeing it as fate
For me to get hurt here.

I know what I feel
And I think you know it too
But how you feel
I don't know if it's true.

I'm so afraid to feel that hurt again
Scared that I'll have to let go
So I keep it deep inside
My feelings bottled low.

He didn't see how I cared
He left me after all
But maybe it was meant to be
Destiny that he would fall.

Because if he hadn't hurt me
We would never have met
Since I might still be with him
If he wasn't dead yet.

I'd hate to be without
The new love I have found
My love for this one
Turns me around.

Satisfaction
Take it slow
Make it last
Let it grow.
All I long for
Is what I'm not
You give me pain
More than I've got.
Carve me up
Make it deep
I promise you
I'll only weep-
The crimson tears
That you do cause
I ask of you
Only this because-
You give me
Just one choice
To go with you
And have no voice.

Unknown to you
She is the one
Bringing me comfort
When you have none.

As I sit here alone
Letting my tears leak
She is the one
Who's presence I seek.

To cover my sorrow
And lift up my heart
She is the one
Who begs it to start.

A secret I have
That I wish you knew
She is the one
And you this does *****.

When you read this
You'll stop in your tracks
As my words
Are what attack.

She is the one
Who opens my heart up
Even if there won't
Ever be a pre-nup.

My love for her
Won't come undone
For as I said
She is the one.