In the heat of the day
Under the sun's pretty face
I tried to write a song

Only because you wanted me to
And I'd do anything for you
You know I can't write at all

I dipped my mind in ink
And told my thoughts to speak
But writer's block is such a *****

But I stayed up til the sun
And every breath was a yawn
For you, I won't quit

I thought of every metaphor I could
Wove together rhyme after rhyme
There was no justice I could give
To you, your smile, those eyes
I just couldn't describe

But for you, I won't quit
After so many moons, I came up with this:

What did I do to
Deserve a girl like you who
Is as bright as sunshine,
captivating like moonlight
With love as endless as the sky and a laugh as loud as mine
Brought to me by apricity and sweet serendipity
I'd never seen someone so lovely
Quietly beautiful, you're stunning
Swear I've never loved a human being, even half as much as I love you
I can't remember a **** thing before you
Tell me
What did I do
To deserve a girl like you

In the heat of the day
Under the sun's pretty face
I tried to write a song

Only because you wanted me to
And I'd do anything for you
You know I can't write at all

I dipped my mind in ink
And told my thoughts to think
But writer's block is such a *****

But I stayed up til the sun
And every breath was a yawn
For you, I won't quit

I thought of every metaphor I could
Wove together rhyme after rhyme
There was no justice I could give
To you, your smile, those eyes
I just couldn't describe

But for you, I won't quit
After so many moons, I came up with this:

What did I do to
Deserve a girl like you who
Is as bright as sunshine,
captivating like moonlight
With love as endless as the sky and a laugh as loud as mine
Brought to me by apricity and sweet serendipity
I'd never seen someone so lovely
Quietly beautiful, you're stunning
Swear I've never loved a human being, even half as much as I love you
I can't remember a **** thing before you
Tell me
What did I do
To deserve a girl like you

I guess there's only one solution
No ifs, ands, or buts
I can almost see the light
Before I've made the first cut

The first and last incision
Come true, my only wish
To solve all of your problems
Did you think I was so selfish?

I know what you're thinking,
"The girl who cried wolf."
I wish I could know what you were thinking
When you hear they found me swinging

Or drugged out on the floor
Or cut up in my bed
Or splattered on the walls
From a gun to my head

Or maybe a mix
I've always been one for theatrics

I'm just really tired
Of crying alone
Of everyone being too busy
Of everyone getting fed up
Of everyone leaving me behind
Of everyone not caring
Of everyone not being sympathetic
Of everyone for not listening
Of everyone for blowing me off
Of everyone for not returning the favor
Of everyone for everything
Of myself for everything
Of everyone for not believing

But I'll make you believe.
I am capable of anything.

Some nights I'm too tired to think
And I sleep too hard to dream
Those nights are good nights for me
I can rest peacefully

Some nights I'm not tired enough
And the thoughts are loud in my head
Chastising me for the things I didn't do
For the words I left unsaid

Some nights I lie wide awake
Treading in my own regret
Sleep tiptoes around me
Not ready to consume me yet

Some nights I torture myself
Asking why why why
I could've been yours, you could've been mine
Had I not been so asinine

Some nights are for wonder
On why I am the way I am
So over emotional all the time
Unable to make anyone understand

Most nights are like these, for prayer
That maybe this sleep will be the long one
Maybe this will be the slumber that puts me at ease and
I can rest peacefully

Confine it
Define it
Deny it
Describe it
Abuse it
Reuse it
Admire,
Salute it
Wreck it
Destroy it
Break it
Enjoy it
Employ it
Confuse it
Misuse it
Dilute it
Celebrate it
Share it
Have it
Keep it
Experience

More nights of too much thinking
More nights of dead sleeping
More nights of shaking my head
More nights of wishing I was dead
More nights of ****** poetry
More nights of trying to rhyme a word
More nights of thinking of your face
More nights of just ******* everything
More nights of being in love with you
More nights of repeating the hard truth
More nights of agony, of being ashamed
More mornings of pretending
Like I'm not going insane

beyond beyond beyond
beyond pleasure beyond
pain
beyond reason beyond
shame
Eagerness that glistened, chipped and dimmed by isolation
Cracked and idle by fear
Obliterated by resignation
A reputation
that is beyond beyond beyond
beyond friends or family
beyond you or sympathy
beyond morals, beyond today
I am yesterday

When you think about it
Really
What are we inside?
Nothing.
Demons is disguise
Misguided youngins lookin for a good time
****** actors who can't remember their lines
Losers who never feel like the present is the right time
Or maybe
We're good
Still **** ups, but good
And maybe we should
Maybe we could
Bring peace to this planet
I wish someone understood

May I regard you as an artist’s work?
You’re just as stark, yet just as inviting
It’s true that to most, your enigma irks
And yet, I sit over you deciding

In what way to decipher this and that
How to go about telling who you are
Putting myself where the artist once sat,
Capturing the mystery of a star

Day in and day out, I go in deeper
I, putting you together piece by piece
And day in and day out, you grow clearer
As a result, I gain pieces of me
Oh, a thing of beauty you’ll always be
Its immortality, a mystery

"*******," they said.
"That's one ugly *****."
"Look at her skin."
"Look at her hair."
"God, she's repulsive."
"She's so ******* crazy."
"And so **** depressed."
"I know right. Like either **** yourself or give it a rest."
"She'll never have friends."
"She doesn't need 'em."
"True that, she'd probably just eat them."
"I can't stand depressed people."
"They just do it for attention."
"SHUT THE **** UP!" I said
And we listened.

I shoot you
You run
You're silly
I have a gun

I shoot you
It hits
You die
I don't miss

I stroll to you
And think of how you ran
I chuckle quietly
I always get my man

I'd been chasin' him for a while
Always one step behind
But this time?
Victory is mine

He underestimated me
Thought I'd had enough
But I always get my man
I know when his time is up

I turn myself  over
So I can see his face
His ***** scumbag face

I close our eyes
And lay in his place
I let the wind blow our letters away
A long time coming, I'd say this was
I hope people can understand
I always have to get my man

I'm not a big girl
Don't sit there and tell me
That you're strong
When tears flood your eyes; self inflicted tears
You're a liar
You throw your head back
Like you know more than me
But I know you

I know you regret the summer you were released
I know how you wish and prayed for a quick release
I know how you wailed yourself to sleep at night
Hating yourself for what's inside
I know you inside and out, through and through,
Better than you

And I know how you crumble at the drop of pin
The breath of a name
The memory of a face
I love how strong you try to be
Yet we both know you're paper thin
With a heart so pained, I'd hate to own it
Because of how much you destroyed it

And how much it destroyed you
Remember the day you decided?
That you knew what to do?
That you could erase it all?

I remember that day
As clear as you
They found you swingin'
And your mother screamed

I love how strong you tried to be
Yet we both know you're paper thin
With a heart so pained, I'd hate to own it
Because of how much you destroyed it

Slap  me with your insults
I don't give a ****
Just throwing gas on the fire
You don't know who I am
Raising higher and higher
I will make you believe
That I am indestructible
I will make you see
You will bleed, you will cry
And I won't turn away
I will watch you forever
That'll be my day
I've taken your **** for the last time
You will not see me break
I will blow your ******* mind
I will blow your ******* mind
I will blow your ******* mind

I find it somewhat amusing
When the phrase,
"Hell on earth,"
is used

When "Hell on hell" is such a more accurate substitute.

Here...breathing
Heart...beating
Clock...ticking
Death...teething­

"Don't do it. There's always another way."

"You could've said that yesterday. You could've said that any day. Now it's too late."

"It's never too late."

"Look, there's no other way to escape."

"Please don't. Think of your family and friends."

"Time heals all wounds. It'll heal them."

"Kennedy-....NO!"

I couldn't hear her over the wind.

Here...falling
Heart...bleeding
Death...retrieving
Pain...leavi­ng

You can't save me
And you don't wanna hold my hand
I scare you away
And that I understand

So you just let me pound while you're on the other side
I swear there's so much anger sometimes it makes me blind
I'm slipping through the cracks and you're slipping away
I don't what to say, I don't know what to say!

You can't save me
And you don't wanna hold my hand
I scare you away
And that I understand

People push me away, you were my only hope
I'm not mad or bitter, no I don't think so
I'm just down in the dumps, I'm just so ******* sad
Because they spit on me and then say "my bad"
That's ******* trash and it messed me up
I swear I have the worst ******* luck

You can't save me
And you don't wanna hold my hand
I scare you away
And that I understand

Because who am I?
Just a ******* mess
And what do you deserve?
You deserve the ******* best

What's in your heart
Is not me
In my heart
You're everything

In every vein
You pump through
All my veins
Contain you

In every thought
Your face is seen
All my thoughts
Are of you and me

In every tear
Exists my pain
All of my tears
Falling like rain

Every piece of me
Longs for you
Every part of my essence
Wants nothing but you

Every piece of the earth
Can fade and rust
But if you are by my side
I won't take a second look

Every breath I take
Wants to call your name
Every place I look
Wants to be your face

But I must remember...

What's in your heart
Is not me
In my heart
You're everything

And I simply do not see
How I can care for another
For you're all there is to me
What I feel for you is marrow deep

The most beautiful words I've ever written
Crumpled on the napkin I threw away
Every word described your face
Every line screamed for you to stay

Thrown away cause I had to leave
This place, I hate it so much
Can't survive without a touch
Can't survive without a love

Put a bullet to my head
Cause I've met my fate
By the time you see this,
It'll be too late

At a time
We were divine
Pure and golden
Like summer shine

We played in grass
And warred in snow
We conquered nations
Sometimes friends
Sometimes foes

We feigned earnest conversations of who we wanted to be
Grand plans in our thoughts and dreams
I wanted to laugh
You wanted to sing


Little did we know
How quickly the clock spins
Little did we know
How thin was our innocence

At a time
We were divine
Pure and golden
Like summer shine

In the present
We are numb
Sad and broken
And summer's gone

Donning stones around the heart
Speaking rocks with flames
I don't believe those rocks are so tough
I think they are made of clay
To me, that rudeness is a sham
The hatred is a ruse
I know her heart is tender
The sliver of the moon
She bathes in her armor
In her mind, it's bulletproof
Her cracks are more visible than she thinks
I can make her emotions move
I know young love moves her heart
And children warm her soul
I know injustice boils her blood
And she loves her dad more than he knows
This girl, she bakes at midnight
And swears up the walls
Lazy as a log, she is
But is there when duty calls
This girl, she is imperfect
She has no idea I breathe
I want to hold her hand at night
Letting my love soften her heartbeat

Turn me off
Flip the switch
Shut me down
Call it quits

Because there really is
No sunshine when she's gone
She doesn't love me back
And I haven't moved on

I haven't gotten better
My heart hasn't healed
And I'm talking to everyone
But no one can hear

And I'm on the edge
Ready to meet it
My toes grip the edge of the cliff
Yearning for the ocean below it

The sweeping current
The ruthless waves
Merciless tides
To drown my troubles away

Yet I can't bring myself
To commit the crime
So I'll keep on living
With death inside

I've walked with misery and kissed pain on the lips
I've waltzed with sorrow and anguish is my best friend

Think you're above the beasts on the ground
For your conscience and souls
Your capacity to judge
Yet what of you when push comes to shove?
Killing in the name of "love"
You sink beneath the dirt
On which you step
Lower than the creatures you deem inept
Yet your pride keeps your mind aswept
Born a miracle and you ruin your gift
Wicked ingrained, you can't help it
Beneath those with four legs and more
For we have a choice, and we choose to ignore
Only through death can we be cleansed
Only the love will take away our sins
Only through death can we receive life
Only with Him, will our hearts see light

falling again
a fresh demise
different beginning
but the past reminds
and I beat it back
fanning the fire
but how can a cup contain the sea?
When the waves are so strong and the wind so mighty?

Laughter's the best medicine
Who said that?
I laugh all the time and I still feel sad

Misplaced rose
You fell from home
And found yourself
In a world unknown

A broken beauty
A walking botch
That's all she is
Hidden in thoughts

I wanted you to change the world for me
I just wanted to look at things differently
To see what you see and see something new
To open my eyes to something I'd never realized

I wanted you to change the world for me

If there was no Hell
Waiting for those
Who take their own
I would be the first to go