The cuts on my back,
use them as steps,
climb the ladder.
The hole in my shoulder,
use it as a grip,
Rise over the edge.
Once you get to the upper
Look down from atop the scalp.
Doesn’t everything seem small & insignificant?
Do not fear the wind though,
for this is just my sight.
Use my windows to see over yonder.

Moons ago I smoked till the filter,
Drank Johnny’s backwash
And slept hungry.
How can you know an empty stomach,
Without dancing in Tampa for a buck fifty?
What’s for breakfast?
“cowboy killers.”
lunch I asked,
“Kentucky deluxe.”
Dinner?
“A bent Porto Rican kitten.”
But people are seasons
And springtime had come.
Now it’s easy, but still stiff.
In the end of the day.
ehh.

Be polite when clothed,
violent when naked.
smoke till it hurts
drink till you cough
And dance with an eye closed.
Then
Seek happiness but don’t keep it.
When it’s gone,
Then
Start from step one.

It was his concluding gaze.
Enclosed by persons
Why would he choose me?
Choose to leave me scarred
A brand I've not once elapsed.
I never knew his name,
Never stayed to see what became of him.
I know he died that night,
Bled out like a pig on the cement.
He looked at me to save him,
But I ran.
A  c o w a r d too frightened to help a stranger.
I've not, not ever not told anyone,
Of these eyes that haunt me,
Of this night that plagues my wakefulness.
To see him pricked four whiles,
Punctured over babble.
I hate him for what he did.
Blaming me with concluding eyes.

Tomorrow will be better,
My father used to say.
With empty pockets and a broken lip,
Dreams of love were squandered hallucinations,
rather than reality.
My curse of knowledge,
Once thought to bring me delight and wonder
welcomes only pain and self-destructive blueprints of lust.
I am an architect of my own ruin,
A preacher of my own mistakes..
Tomorrow will be better,
My father used to say.
But today’s today to my dismay.