tell me something certain
put a period or bullet at the end
do not slowly dissappear
as if fading into mist
stab me, shoot me,
slice open my throat
bury me in sand
and wait for waves to crush my bones
i cannot see your texts
grow ever infrequent
and their drying up
like tomatoes on a windowsil
**** me **** me **** me
and all the air we breathed
between ourselves
i plead you do not disappear

i just want someone
to hug me and to kiss me
and hold me in your tight embrace
right in the middle of the street
between falling autumn leaves
without months of yearning
and sleepless nights in agony
or at least a cat
that would also be quite good
preferribly orange

my body belongs
to the highest bidder,
i have given up

i dare not grasp the thorn
yet i still crave your touch
is it worth to sacrifice my blood
for an echo of your warmth?

my brand new shoes
have opened up wounds in my heels
maybe they just never healed
my white socks drenched in blood
i limp across the street
and collapse on cement

i am so weak
my knees ache
and my heart trembles
and it is so **** cold
i walk day by day
and i talk and i laugh
but my mind remains
in a different place
in that room in that bed
where we were
where we lay
and it makes me wish i could cry
but i shed all my tears
in two thousand and twenty two
so now there is nothing left
but to succumb to madness
there is nothing left
but to endure

i guess this is what i get
for putting my life
in another pair of hands