She was the one that ran out into the rain.
Laughing,
Smiling,
Dancing.
The one that made the boys afraid.
Tough,
Fearless,
Strong.
The girl who'd jump not knowing how to swim.
Now drowning 6 ft under.
Lost and imprisoned within herself.


© 2013 Kendra Bowman

Just let me die before I wake.
**** me softly in this sleep.
Slowly,
Painfully,
Anything.
I mean it.
Just let me die before I wake.
**** me softly in this sleep.

Just let me die before I wake.
**** me softly in this sleep.
I don't care how it happens.
I don't care how you do it .
Just let me die before I wake.
**** my softly in  this sleep.

And If I shall wake to my captor,

Gripped by the beauteous hands of death.

Let me feel every bit of pain
While I relieve all the pain in my life
And then I shall dwell
Beyond the gates of Hell.
All the days of my eternal after life.


© 2013 Kendra Bowman

Guns to the head.
Knives through the heart,
Down our wrist.

Jumping off bridges,
Drowning, Crashing.
We keep putting bullet holes in our chest.

Tears streaming down our faces.
We go to sleep and never wake

How much more can we take?

We've got those painkillers,
Our cheerleaders.
Screaming "You can die!!! Just take me!!!"

© 2013 Kendra Bowman

Why didn't you get it?

You just thought it was one of my phases
But on the inside I knew I was going crazy

Why didn't you understand me?

Oh the irony of that statement.
That you can understand the children with the needs of the special needs
But you cant understand your own child
Who's brain functions and cooperates
Quite clearly
She is calling out for help
But you cant see that

Now she is crying out to you from her hospital bed.
From her asylum.
Bruised around her neck.
Scars across her wrist.
Scratched up and down her arms.

Cut to deep,
In a coma from the draining of her sweet crimson.

Because she let the pain tear through her.

She let it tear though her....

And it threw her
Over the edge

I am pouring out to you through this poem.
Before I let my pain
Push me over
And I Am crying silently to myself in my asylum.

From the scars down my wrist
And the painkillers that were once in my hand
In my coma

Because I let the pain tear through me
And I've become this person I can no longer control.

I could never control myself.

So please
At my funeral I want all of you to see rainbows
And I'll see you in white
When you meet me
In heaven


© 2013 Kendra Bowman

Beauty Is The Beast.
And I want no part in her sadistic massacre of my body

Her clawing at my flesh.
Her tearing at my skin.

Her pulling me down and ripping me limb from limb.

But sometimes....
I can't help but help her destroy me.

Because people are always drawn to beautiful things.

But you should be careful.
Beautiful things are always more
Than just beautiful things.


© 2013 Kendra Bowman

Hi,
My name is--

Nothing.
Never mind.
I forgot that I don't have one.
You can't know me.

You don't know me....

At least that's what you told them...

You could never just admit it.
You would never just tell them.
You should have went out shouted it out,
Loud enough for the whole world to here you.
But I only ask of this because you were so ashamed of me.

I love you...
And you know this
Because you know you loved me...

Cause we were together

Yeah.
We were a thing
I couldn't have just imagined it
We spent 4 months together

Cuddled up in the back of your mom's car
Laughing at my jokes
And spilling drinks
Arms around each other
Lips locked together.....

But now you say that you don't know me??

Every.
Single.
One.
Of my deepest darkest secrets has been invested into your very soul.
****** into your hands for you to hold onto.

And in return I had gotten trustful looks of lies.

And now every time you look at me...
You turn the other way and laugh

Because you know I'm a freak.
You know what's wrong with me!
You know everything!

But you still say that you don't know me...
But you know you do.
You know you loved me!

And I know that I loved you....
And I know that you know you loved me too

So I am just waiting.

Waiting on the day you will tell the world

That you loved me.

All I wanted you to do is not deny this.

Deny that there was an us.

That you know that our laughs
And our smiles
And our times together
That our everlasting foreverness
Was not made up
It was true
We were real

And you loved every bit of it....
Including me.

Hey,
It's me.
And Baby...
I'm still waiting.












© 2013 Kendra Bowman