so the lights behind the church—
do you think they are ghosts?
because i think it says a lot about
you if you do.
in a creepy kinda way.
i like it. i like that you don’t hate me
at least most of the time you don’t
but your brain tastes like butterscotch so…
i want to swallow it whole.
maybe i focus too ******* your hands
and not enough on your earlobes.
but there is something
we haven’t found yet because we’re lost in
a transient light.
like the ones
behind the church
that are actually ghosts
because
i really do want them to be ghosts.
i want us to be ghosts and i want
to talk to your aunt about Albuquerque
and touch your leg with mine.
i will always
watch you bend the moon over your knee
how you do every night.
i want to wrap the sky and stars in gold
and send them your way
when you’re feeling the weight
of the nighttime swoons
and craving the jazz music in my veins
that only play
when they’re close to your veins.
for every night i’m not there
i’ll sign my name on the sun
and send it to rise just for you and
simply hope it doesn’t burn you
midday when you call me
smiling through the phone and holding
yourself together with twine and string.
soon i’ll be home
and i can hold you together with my hands
my mouth
your mouth
let’s melt together.
or be ghosts.
i want us to be ghosts.

i’m afraid if i let go of the moonlight
gravity would find me again.
it’s not a bad place to live,
it’s simply lost its humility,
and show me one time in this
cannonball universe, where god spoke up
and said otherwise.
but the view from here,
from the craters in our moon
is enough to make anyone believe
in something boundless.

because i have been wishing
that clear blue sky was mine to catch,
to keep,
to shoot up into my blood stream.
you haven’t felt the way my heart  
will skip a beat for a chance
to venture out into this toxic galaxy.

but when the universe shifts
i’ll fall back into earth, and
divide into asteroids on my way down
gray haze blood in my veins
with history on repeat
and millions of miracles
sputtering at the seams.
i get scared to breathe sometimes from
struggling through
this endlessly inward
design of the human mind
knee deep and trudging through it
going farther than i should have.



so i’m still falling into
this eruption of cosmic frustration,
this ****** vengeance against 
the world of facts and figures.
this is a galactic unrest,
a testament to the earth and 
its long lost glory.
today, she hangs from a string 
on an tilted axis,
proudly knowing everything 
with forever left to go
waiting to be shaken by
some hard space matter
or swallowed alive by the sun.

still falling,
raspberry red and laughing
the whole way down,
exhaling primordial art forms
going out like a fire *******,
shaking the earth one last time.

oh yes
the late night swing.
29th street,
old money in my veins
drowning in the florida heat
and i keep thinking about Michigan rain.
so the dark creeps in again,

red lips and blood drips
i am far too reckless
in these muddy bones,
and no one asks questions.
drunk and always drunk
but where is the shame in that
when the world is on fire
just yet
and i am allergic
to most things
mostly love things,
mostly good things.
i am ******* in my own bad ideas
and it’s getting too late.
these years just groan by,
and i’m addicted to the unknowing,
i guess i'll just dissolve, goodbye.

the wishing well
over flowed that morning,
and she was true blue--
died with diamonds
still in the corner of her eyes.
i feel like crawling
back to myself
in this endless tempest
of a life
within a life unlived.
and i paint in onyx,
the details of my will, that is,
on the ceiling of my bedroom
**** it.
i really have lost it this time--
voodoo in my chest
my heart-
that moon.
******* and whiskey brains
so let the red show
because i’ve taken the stars back
and told the priest to *******
and still i am here,
overflowing, this morning.
swollen mind
i wear the dark of night
so proudly.

speak only to say something
beautiful. sinking
in the terminal kind of sadness.
toughen up kid,
this is it.
this is what we’ve got.
this is what surviving
with style looks like.