I've stumbled in
a little thing.
A little game
of little shame.
And all i got
was a stupid rock.
Called a smock.
A Stupid ****.
Hopefully one day
I will go astray
To make my way
For my own sake.
Heaven save me!
Let me be
Mother Mary
Rest in peace!
Forgive me father
for I have sinned
World that falter
I can't live in.

Beginning (introduction)

In the dusk hour, they lay there shattered and broken
Just like these words, yet theirs are unspoken
May I write their songs and their poems
Just so the people of the world will know them...

I. The Truth Of the World Can Be Seen In an Eye

...The dead, the living, and the unknown
Look before you, the world is shown
We're corrupted and don't welcome change
For this is the world of stubborn and strange
The lies are before you in different labeled doors
Of "our" choices whether it's peace or war
It's all propaganda, it's all spoken lies
Only to be heard before Everyone dies
So what is your decision, what is your choice
We are the people that mus sound our voice
To fight for what we All believe in
And let the real freedom we want begin
'Cause this is how it shall end
It'll be the end of you dear friend...

II. Dead Man's Ode To God

...I stood before the Lord
I prayed, he opened the door
Into internal damnation
Of our own salvation

I stood before the Lord
I gave my heart for the golden shore
And thy sinful ways
Brought even darker days

I stood before the Lord
He was real, I was sure
Then people lied, and people died
And in the end, all did cry

So here I stand before the Lord
Just a terrible ending I got for
Playing, giving, until I die
To find the idea of God is just a lie...

III. ...And There Will Be Guns and Whips

...Cry another tear
Run from another fear
They're coming tonight
Scream if you see the white
I don't want to be a slave
Lord, can't we be saved
From skin color discrimination
In the new nation
Where everyone's free
Except for you, you, and me
We shall toil in dirt
In the cold, hard Earth
Because they're too lazy to do it on their own
Or maybe because they can't do it alone
Why must we suffer for generations to come
Because they can't see that we're all one
So we shall die under the American sun
In a nation that will never be one...

Is it your eyes I seek
when I should seek another?
Those eyes that speak
instead of lips that smother.
Whose smile I fear
that changed my cheek color,
and the shedded tear
to not long for another.
Is it your voice I hear
through lightening and thunder?
Could you just re-appear
after my little known blunder?
Should I just keep
this thought left unspoken?
Must I take that leap
that may leave my heart broken?
But instead I'll leave
this thought incomplete;
The problem I shall not defeat.

Behind these hazel eyes
Lies the sorrow and my pain
Dreaming for demise
It's my secret and my shame
In form of words
In forms of rhyme
This is the only way I'll be heard
Before the end of time
Secrets are scattered
Trust is broken
Broken and battered
Til these words are spoken
I tell you this
Though you don't even hear
What I tell you is
What lies in my empty tears
Things of love
Things of loneliness
Good won't rise above
There is no happiness
Lie to be confused
Tell to be an enemy
Stay to be used
Leave to be just me
I am alone in the dark
Not knowing what I write
And my mind will embark
On it's own endless flight
You may not comprehend
What I'm trying to say
You don't have to understand
It's just another day

My life flashes right in front of me like a map of stars
Little memories that I remember seems so bizarre
From the day that I've opened my eyes to see
How different, strange, and cruel this world can be
I've changed for the better, I've changed for the worse
And my poetically pathetic lines are not rehearsed
Just what drifts out my mouth and burst into life
I just hope one day I'll fly high as a kite
With the old words I remember so well known
But luckily I won't have to do it alone
I remember my old days and all my old ways
And I leave it back and walk towards a better day
This map of stars I will leave behind me forever
For this desperate change was hard to endeavor

Too many times I have shed this tears
Over nothing new and year old fears
If ever to be but just a forgotten love
You're the one I would still dream of
Miss your lips and miss your skin
You know, the one I used to curl up in
The sound of your whispering voice
Tickled my ears as I'd want to rejoice
But now you'll be a forgotten love
As I try to forget all of the above

If it shall be then so shall it be
For this is what is thought of me
Like an empty vase within your room
I am the flower that will never bloom

Do you see her
   hallowed out eyes,
Screaming for attention
   along the lines of
Touch and Sight.

                        Feelings become numb.

Her dying heart
   ceases to beat
As a cold lifeless corps
   lies within a box,
Unmoving and Unwanted.

                        She attends her own funeral.

There lies no tear
   among the cheeks
Of the selfish people
   who let her fall.
Ignorant and Selfish.

                          She's alive...
                          She's dead.
                The bomb goes off...
                They're all alive...
                                            ... They're all dead.

This old mask I wear
has worn thin,
I'll make another one
just to let it decay again.
I take a breath
and let it go
just like I took him in
to only know,
she said let him go.
Everything good
just is taken away
from me,
and that's all I've got to say.
It's so close to me
yet so far away.
My dear, sweet,
sharpened razorblade.
Let the blood drip
till it stains the floor.
"When it rains...
...it pours."
Help me savior,
help me friend.
I've got to ask,
is this my end?
I give up,
yet hope once again
till the day comes
where hope is taken.
Hoping for the hopeless
will only tear
exactly what you're trying
to repair.
You can't mend a life
of hopeless dreaming.
You can only destroy it
till your heart stops beating

It's printed into your
ice cold, pale skin.
Permanent and never fading.
Tattooed in black ink,
all the promises you
have made and broken.
You reap what you sow;
And dear unwanted thing
of my life, this is a sharpie
and these are your mistakes
that has made you leave
a path of destruction
right behind you.
You dragged us along
the rusted barbwire
and broken glass
that has left us all
bleeding and scarred.
Dear Unwanted thing of
this pointless, drawn out life,
you've sacrificed the good
only to bring us all pain.
Dear Unwanted thing in my life,
You are no longer worth my time.

Can you here their song
Singing and dancing along
To the pounding of the rhythmic drum

Dancing around the fire
Drinking in the shire
Passed out cold from the ***

Let the words be flown
In and out of the unknown
And walk towards the night born sun

Goddess of the moon, radiant glow
Call out your people for a starlit show
Show us your beauty, your majesty bright
Let us forever remain to the night
Give us your humble, your silent applause
Give us a reason, a chance, or a cause
To cherish the dark with much work to do
So we may remain forever loyal to you

Love, have you finally
found me?
I've been hiding
so, so long.
So long I sat,
listless and cold.
But you saved me
and warmed my soul.
Inspiration, have you
come crawling back,
begging for forgiveness?
I've gone so long
without you sitting
by my right side.

Love, have I finally
found you?
You've been hiding
right under my nose.
So long you sat,
waiting and undiscovered.
But at last I find you,
claim you as my own.
Inspiration, have I
finally forgiven you
for abandoning me?
You've worked so hard
to get back, yet
struggled with depression.

Beyond tears of joy, a new feeling is discovered;
and an old friend returns. Lest we remember loneliness.

Consistency is time
and time is consistent
Pain is quick
and gone in an instant
Change is inevitable
and only found with time
Time is consistent
and will leave the past behind
Hello's are special
when meeting someone new
Goodbye's are sad
and can only occur so few
You are mine
if it is as you'd wish
Finale is soon
with your long sweet kiss

In the shadows, In the darkness, they lie
Scared and broken, they are hidden from the light
Troubles are continuous and trust is broken
May no one here, hear the words that are spoken
Standing on ashes, Looking down at the world
Speaking of the truth, stood the little girl
But no one did listen, She is but too young
The world's own corruption, the troubles begun
The world's all fought, One by one fell down
In the end of sinners, all dead on the ground
In the smoke and ashes, stood the young girl
Telling the story, Of the ignorant world

Fly away little heart,
your life has just begun.
Like the shiny dew in morning
on a web the spider's spun.
Find a nice and cozy place;
from there, you'll never run;
there you'll find true love
that will last as long as the sun.

Fly away little heart
to a land where love is free.
Love is not a punishment,
it's a thing like you and me.
It binds and twists everything
where what is, you cannot see.
Love lives in all of us,
without it, we could not be.

My little heart of mine,
you hold all love inside.
Even scratches and all tears,
we've made all repairs.
So little heart of mine,
let's give Love another try

my heart is safe                  so why is it that                  though, it feels like
in this hand made             the box feels so                    the acid ate away
box that i have                   empty on the inside.           what was left of
crafted myself.                   broken hearts.                      my shattered heart.


within this time                                                                you can picture it's
you read on into                                                               emptiness, going on
a mystery of my                                                               into an empty abyss
bitter heart.                                                                        I call my empty box.


at one time, there                                                             at one time, it used
lay a shattered heart                                                        to be whole and glowed
in a blood stained,                                                            a radiant light, and was
hand made box.                                                                held in a lover's hand.


but days like those             a soul with no heart.            here within my empty box,
no longer exist                    a soul with no love.             stained with blood galore,
in my own pessimistic      a soul without light.             a heart once beat, and a
days of empty shame.       a soul that will shatter.         soul had once been.

I. Tragedy In Forms Of Ones' Confusion In This Mental State Called Reality

Love's lust lost second
of quiet lovers' bitter secrets,
in forms of sins and tragedies
trapped in their own guilt.
Time's ticking last minute,
whose sound silently kills
the fact we never loved at all
in moments like these.
What is love? People ask.
And it's answer is as complicated
as the question itself, yet simple.
It's everything and nothing alone.
Life's simple, cold truth
is hidden under the empty tears
of the dying ones in broken homes,
waiting for tomorrow.
But tomorrow never comes
because it's always today.
So that means there's no yesterday.
May I get more in depth?
If there's no tomorrow's
or yesterdays,
then there's no past or future.
Today's our last day.
So little to do,
yet so much has been done
in this last day we live,
that lasts a lifetime.
This depths reception
of a hopeless, dreaming mind
finds tragedy in hope once again,
yet searching for nothing.
Death's eye seeks
the sins and tragedies
of time's love so shortly wasted,
lost in the cool breeze.
May the words
of forgotten dreams
be spoken and only heard
by these ears.
'Cause the fire in the rain
will put the dead to sleep again.
So, dear tragedy struck friend,
this is time's love wasted end.

II. ****** Lives Can Arrive In Colorful Wrapping

Little words, like razorblades
that slice open skin,
rusts and infects the cut,
bleed through my mind
like these open sores
you've caused me to make.
Take it or break it,
either way you got to pay for it
with the sweat on your back
and the tears of the broken people
living on the edge.
Little problems, like scars
that leave a never forgotten
memory of shameful mistakes,
that can't be solved by
cheap alcohol and drugs.
You can't solve my problems,
I can't even solve them myself.
By bleeding, drinking, smoking,
till I can't move or make a sound,
to where I'm not even breathing.
I may seem normal with no problems,
nothing to worry about, I'm just a kid.
Funny how wrong you are
and make stupid assumptions
always thinking you're right.
But smoking, drinking,
and these infected cuts
aren't for nothing.
Leaving me speechless,
can't move,
not breathing...
I'm already dead on the inside,
so why not complete it with this final goodbye?

III. Four Lines

Lifeless, cold, and brokenhearted am I
The lover, the hero, the cherished that died
In all Earth's beauty, the world did cry
For my body is resting under the starry sky

IV. Sorry, But I'm Optimistically Pessimistic

"The sun'll come out tomorrow"
If tomorrow ever comes.
Until then, I can only dream
of leaving this place
in a forgotten memory.
There's nothing left for me here
but ash and a bitter taste
that reminds me I'm alone.
Maybe I got problems,
maybe I don't.
Guess none of you really know,
or even try to understand
that this charade of smiles and laughter
is just a mask.
Just a plain old mask,
fading and decaying over the years.
'Cause what is left to live for?
This broken home,
these shattered dreams,
until every last shred of me
is fed to the dogs
only to become ****?
No, I already am a *******
who can't do anything right
in their eyes,
which only see me
when I'm to be seen.
So what's with this hopeless dreaming?
It's not stopped my drinking,
my smoking, drugs.
Hasn't stopped me from stealing
until there's nothing left to take,
but take me to bone crushing new lows
that twists and breaks me in half.
There's no turning around this time,
need to take a step forwards
instead of going backwards,
blindly setting myself
in the sight of the predator.
All I can do is sit here,
sit here and dream
for that better day.
So if tomorrow ever comes,
there will be sun.

V. There's No Place Like Kansas

A hidden talent
behind these silent tears
in this state
we call Kansas.
No one makes it
out of here,
no one makes it big.
Good luck to some,
misery to the rest.
Shall I sit here,
hopeless and too diligent
to even try.
We are broken,
bandaged, torn,
and messed up.
Yet we make it
by working
in our low paying jobs
that barely helps
us live.
'Cause it's the
same old song,
we're just another drop
in an endless sea.
And all we do,
crumbles to the ground
though we refuse to see.
We the people
of Kansas,
to the rest of the world,
all we are
is Dust In The Wind

So many times I've tried
And so many times I've cried
But no one ever knew
That I tried to commit suicide
Too many times I've tried
These tears shed over nothing new
Maybe I wasn't meant to live this life
For me is no happiness and strife

They're all crying,
They're all dying,
The world is singing
To the country broken.
The news is dim
as the lights with in
the deepest darkness
that a country lies within.
Broken hearts and broken bones,
People on streets without a home.
Haiti has fallen.
who will be next?
The only thing left
For them is hope.
This is the beginning
of some cruel test,
Testing faith and justice
Till there's nothing left.
We're all broken
and Unspoken in these
last few years of
our Vengeful Lord.
There's nothing left
for the world to do,
But pick and choose
till death calls us out
one by one fall
to the word of god.
Answer the phone,
Death is calling.

The bible, just another fiction book?
Another book without a hook?
Did you bother to even look?
The voice spoke and the heavens shook.

"Obey me for you all are my slaves,"
It was even heard through the hollow caves.
There's no one on earth that's left to save,
For aren't we all false God's slaves?

Shall the rivers flow red,
With the blood of the dead.
"No tears are left to shed,"
To the saved, God said

Is this what you really want?
Are you just a stupid ****?!
I'm sorry, but I have to be blunt.
Is this really what you ******* want?!

To die in vain,
Die in God's name.
Are you really sane?
And is life just a stupid game?

        To live and die as we breathe,
        And be born again yet cease
        To exist in this internal damnation we call our home
        In 2012, will we realize that we're not alone?

The bible, each religion pays attention to only one part.
So is there anyone left, who follows their heart?
We all know, there's always an end and start,
And in this game of life, we all play a part...

...To live, to die,
To conquer and strive.
To destroy, to lie,
To let the world die.

Our judgment day is coming,
But we pulled the rope that made the bells start ringing

        You ignorant fools who made us corrupt,
        The fools that chose war over Peace;
        The ones who won't change to save the world
        So tell me dear reader, is this what you want?

        To die, when you've never even lived,
        To be told how to live this game called "life,"
        To be here, in a country becoming more corrupt;
      
        No, this is not what god planned...
        ...this is not what god had planned.

Once upon a lover
Now an unwanted enemy
Time's become a blunder
My dear unwanted enemy
Memories always fade
and new ones take their place
Happiness will be made
As I forget your face
Dear enemy of mind
I once loved you
Yet over time I find
I've learned to hate you
Now it's time to let me go
There will be time to try
Don't want to say Hello
But I'll tell you Goodbye

Death walked among us
in the deserted wasteland
that we further call our
unwanted, torn up home.
Our sisters, our brothers,
and parents all dead.
The knife is planted in
your hands, stained.
Tears of vengeance and hate
flow down your stone
cold face into the
hole that your heart
has left unwanted.
This isn't your life,
this is a life of
bitterness and broken
hearts controlled by
the one and only past.
Move on unloved child.
He is no longer bearing
a soul of life, but one
of black acid that slowly
kills his common sense.
Let go unnoticed heart,
love will leave bitter
stains that will never
leave your mind at ease.
Screaming when humanity
is at it's loss, seeping
out our pores into
a dark, unknown room.
Death paced that room,
gloating in our horror.
Laugh little angel why
time can still tick
and you can watch
all the world suffer.
In this realistic man
made world, optimism
can't shine the dimmest
light amongst all the
pessimism of the ******.
The depth of the
mind cannot catch it.
So we sit here
and think, and we drink,
we smoke, and we slice
out our scars and place
our pain within them.
Take your little razorblades,
and take out your lighter.
Burn your scars into an
unwanted past stupidity.
Cut open and cease the day.
Is this what you truly
made the final decision on?
This is what you have made
life out to be for you and me.

LIFE:

The sun rises upon the eastern shore
Revealing your arms around me, yet more.
I hope living these joyous days with you
Will be a joyous one, we know it's true.




DEATH:

The lunar light upon the western sands
Follows the shadows of an unknown man.
A few more steps and the scorpion's sting,
Death can be such a terrible thing.

After so many times i have tried
After many times I've lied
To tell you the truth, I'm not fine
It's gone so far, I think I've lost my mind
My plastic mask is melting away
I'm done, I've got to get away
3 different times I have tried
3 times to  attempt a quiet suicide
1st a bottle of poison to stop the pain
2nd, drink a bottle of poison like it's a game
3rd, I must try an overdose
I thought it was going to work the most
No nothing worked and I'm still hear
For the future I still fear
After so many times I have tried
After many times I've lied
To tell you the truth, I'm not fine
It's gone so far, I think I've lost my mind

Her sullen face is hidden
behind a painted porcelain mask
that hides her desolate mind
as she falls into nothing.
Imagining the amount of blood
as it pours over the cold white tiles
like red wine into an empty glass.
Missing the blade as it penetrates
leaving scars like a sculpture,
turning pain into something beautiful.
What is to come of life
when all she seems to see is
a miserable and dire ending
to her own and her dreams.
It's not solvable, it's insoluble
as she's still hiding it all
behind a painted porcelain mask.
One thing to ask of you
as you undoubtedly finish:
Who can save her?
Can save her from her mind?

Here I sit,
making you smile,
making you laugh.
When I speak,
you feel it's right,
You feel it's good.
So to ask you,
what am I?
I am a lie.

Here I sit,
bringing tears to your eyes,
running down your face.
When I speak,
you feel your heart break,
you feel so empty.
So to ask you,
what am I?
I am the truth.

Here I sit,
laughing at jokes,
agreeing with everything.
When I speak,
we smile and always agree
on everything.
So to ask you,
what am I?
I'm a fake.

Here I am,
smiling at your comforts,
crying with your distractions.
When I speak,
a few listen,
and some will choose to ignore.
So to ask you,
who am I?
I am me.

If a speck of dust was to land on your shoe, what would you do? Would you even notice something so microscopic had managed to take time out of it's long, slow day to land on your shoe and await the next breeze to drift away? Of  course you wouldn't! It's just a speck of dust, it is of no importance to you. But does anyone ever realize that a speck of dust has a life of it's own. As one speck of dust sticks to your tv screen right after you had rid all his other friends from sticking to it; He becomes angry. As he was finally reaching his community of friends, you take them away. He calls for revenge. Days, maybe even moths go by and he has gotten revenge. Your tv screen is coated in dust, almost like a gray blanket. The speck of dust cheers as all his community of friends come to stay. The one thing the speck of dust doesn't know is you have died a week ago and your house is in the middle of nowhere. You had no family left and all all possessions were destined to collect dust as you rotted away in your bed. The speck of dust gloats for awhile, but only to find the tv screen too crowded and the air too thin. Poor little speck of dust all it wanted was a few of his friends. But more came until specks were stacked a top each other and unmoving. Goodbye little speck of dust. Better luck next time.

The mind clicks
      an endless sea
A rush of warmth
      a reflecting razor
She lies alone
      waves crash against sand
The bomb ticks
      a heart still beating
A rush of fire
      she lies there bleeding
      She lays within herself
      holding out a hand.
                      Take it while you can.

Ah unrequited love
that touches the soul!
A burden young one
could take a hard tole!
Ah how autumn's leaves embrace
the feeble and meek.
You find that love
can make you feel weak!

Are you trapped with in
a disillusioned box made
up of bones and rusted
wires?
  
              We made our homes in
                  the land of the brave.

Death called us out
to the desert far east
and planted our souls
in our guns.
          
              We lived at the valley
                in the shadow of death.

                                She's singing...
                                ... You must go to her

In the eyes of the world
Shall peace be revealed
In the mouths of the hungry
Shall the truth be concealed
Do we fear god
Or the word "fear" itself
We are the corrupted
Who only cares for thyself
Through tears and violence
We seal up in a pod
But the Bible must say
We are the true image of god
I am not a preacher
And you shan't follow
You will forget
When time comes the morrow
So we stand corrupted
The vigilant and poor
Because when the morrow comes
We will be no more

Shall the ears only hear
What they all seek
Setting the world on the shoulders
Of the perilous meek
Shall the nose only smell
The vile perfume of lies
Our arrogant ways
Will plan our demise
To the hungry, poor
blind and unique
I can assure you
This is not what you seek
Forced to violate
Into religion alone
And thy heart that beats
Tis not thy own
In the darkness
Morrow will dawn
No more stand corrupted
For we shall be gone

Our own immaturity
Will bring the world to an end
Our own lives failure
Is not left to mend
A dire ending
'Twas warned the Earth
And no promises
Of a second birth
The last taste shall be
Smoke and ash
The last thing you smell
Burning ox and ***
Last thing be heard
Slicing off heads
And the last thing you see
Everyone's dead
You all were wrong
And peace stood right
To the poor and corrupted
We must say goodnight