Whisper whistfully into my ear.
My fingers wrapped in your hair,
and yours around my heart.
Tugging gently,
and opening old wounds that had never really healed
kissing my cuts
filling them with something
that no one can describe
You cut me open
and you sew me together
all at once.

Did you ever realize that you could just get up right now and start walking somewhere far far away and never come home again?

Yes

are you ready? go.

Come with me

ok

What will we bring?

nothing

lets go to California

okay
______________

we will sleep on the beach and the nights will be warm
and we can walk Venice beach and see all the silly people
and pretend we have money to buy things
we can become master pickpockets
and we will be fugitives
and it will be quite an adventure

someday we will comeback

we will comeback when the soles of our feet are all run down and our backs our heavy with memories of the great adventure we've had. When we arrive, we'll put them in a box, somewhere far in the back of a dusty closet to be saved for a rainy day. Stories to tell our children and our children's children. And when our hands and smiles are wrinkled with age, and the time has come for us to embark on another great adventure, we'll set the old one free and hope that one day, it means as much to someone else as it did to us.

I sit alone in my room.
not unusual
for someone like me.

I've lost hope,
so precious, so pure.
So vile, so raw.

This heart,
it beat
for you and you only.

And when you left
I was lost.

I spent so many years
searching
for the light that lived in your eyes.
The spark of your smile,
that set the room ablaze.

Only to find,
That the spark had been drowned
In a wave of hatred
and bitterness.
and *****.

Though I found you,
My heart remains lost.
Knowing that you are not you,
I am not me.

My heart beats wildly,
and frantically,
looking for a way out, a place to hide.

And so I make a desicion.

50 asprin
layed neatly in row
across my kitchen counter.
light shines on little opals

I find a memory of you
and I swallow it,
with the pill.
burying it deep inside.
no way out now.

15 minutes later

I am lying on the floor
swimming in my own *****.
My heart beats wildly
and frantically.


And my
Heart beating
Head spinning
I am
your smile

Looking for something to go beyond,
This life is like skipping a rock on a pond.
At the very last skip,
It stops with a splash.
Sinking to the bottom,
Gone in a flash.