if you were so much as to kiss my cheek,
i would melt back into the earth that birthed me
and eventually evaporate up into the clouds
that pour like rain to sustain the ground we kissed upon.

i would rise up out of this atmosphere,
into another universe, forming its first living being,
a multiplying molecule, little droplets of a life well lived.

rotation of self around self-a new galaxy born
if we were to brush hands just once,
an electric expansion of love and lust-
infinitely, infinitely, infinitely.

on repeat for future generations,
happening all at once.

we morph into indefinite existence-endless us.

its really a sad thing
when you are having a conversation about:
if you could go back in time knowing what you know now
and redirect your life route
to completely avoid a certain portion
and in that portion is where you and this other person met,
and you genuinely ask if they would be willing to never meet the people they've met including yourself,
and would be willing to have the memories you have together with them erased and the experiences to never have occurred,
and they say well im sure i would have had good experiences and encountered a lot of other good people and made other meaningful memories if i went the other.
and while all of thats true and also an impossible thing to make happen,
the fact that they dont even hesitate and can even say yes,
i would do it knowing everything and everyone i know right now.
id go back and take that other route.
its really a sad thing when you’re having a conversation with your best friend,
and really putting yourself in the mindset of a place where this would be possible,
and they just say well id meet other people, experience other things,
and then they tell you that you are in a weird mood.

in every little thing about myself, i exist
in my vulnerability
in my eyes
in the cracks of my skin
the traces of my hands
the nails of my toes
pimples that arise
smells in my nose
feelings in my fingertips
thoughts in my head
breaths in my lungs
teeth in my mouth
hairs on my head
hairs in my pits
hairs of my ******
feelings i feel
tongue in your mouth
places i imagine
places i have been
i am as i am, i exist

bouncing through the sunlight- i am yellow.
the color of a thousand, a million years before my first breath.
glistening atop the water i once called home.
gifted with gills to discover infinite nothingness.
experiencing the sound that comes with silence,
gasping under waves-unsure, unaware, amazed and in awe.
eventual evaporation into the clouds that pour the rain
i listen to on crowded porches from time to time.
cigarette in hand, cheers to the moon tides, transformation of the trees,
and you & me.

i have this longingness,
tugging at my soul and soles.

they're wearing out as i sit motionless.

my free spirit continues to be soft spoken,
reminding me of unfulfilled hornyness during teen years.

******* through time,
i will be on the road parallel to crime.

unlike here and now.

i look forward to the day this is the recent past,
for i will be on the ultimate move.

talked to Woody yesterday.
he said, "this land is still yours, all of it. from the gulf stream waters to the redwood forest
what are you doing here, anchored? set free your soul's sail."

~

now we can go to Boone whenever we want. right now, in the middle of the night.
because the world is tipping over and filling up with timeless sand,
the shavings of little glass ships.
we can sail away now because "i ended it with her an hour ago".

momentary tangibility, momentously touchable.
voluptuous experience, an explosion of love
or *****.
no rhyme nor reason.
stuck behind glass doors,eternally hoping for
more more more.
locked in and passed around.
visible from hot air balloons, indecipherable under microscopes.
morse code, even to myself.
im on this red painted shelf.
of course, red, but still unread.