is there ignorance in bliss?
or is there bliss in not letting
one define the other

wear my skin
uncomfortably loose
           see others
  with skin so tight
skin keeps trapped in its folds
    the doubts that I hold and silent judgement Im told
unlike loose skin
   doubts bounce off taut skin, never get within,

...if only comfortable skin
  could come in a bottle
of wrinkle cream

I find it funny
even a little sad
that wound you say ripped you apart
doesnt seem to heart that bad
anymore
as you drape your arms around her
words you never said before
was it all meant for this?
every forfeited kiss
i let slip from my loose lips
a different person now
little way of knowing how
we lived in the person before
are you happy?
is your soul free from the person you used to be
walls built too high for me to peak over and see
the one that clipped your wings is the one i set you free
to her you go
double the hours you drove to me
and thats a-ok but I just dont know what to do
about that shirt I helped you pick out
and the letter I hid in your room?
sewn scars etch my letters on white

incense lay in a bag
colors claim sandal wood and musk
but they may as well have no color coated tip
for i reach in and I pick
with eyes closed
the one that i feel can hold
my mind afloat in the seas of dreams
dont want to know which one it is
prefer to let it choose me
and take me away
in swirls of white
that light
my journey through a soulful sleep
the scent is tranquil leaving my lips sweet
and as the smoke fills my eyes
closes them softly, induces my mind
with images of a world so wide and real
a place to know just how to feel
awake now
with the shutting
of heavy fluttering eyes
breaking me from sleep

We bathe in the blood of yesterdays battles
last weeks matters fill our bodies
with scars scattered over years
they trick us into longing
they give us our fears
that we would never have
if we just let the passing day fade away
i dont want to learn from what ive lived
when what im living is all around me
no sense in drowning
in an empty sea
each day, cut free from any and all
we make ourselves
at the crest of each breath
and the reason why
we cant remember very far back
isnt something to stress
when remembering the sweet caress
of eyelids unveiling capricious eyes
to an everlasting sunrise
needs no recollection

Free
like the flowers in my hair
happy to be picked
happy to stay there
just happy
with being alive
to watch everyone
live their lives
doesnt pass by
without her dandelion smile
hold her under your chin
she'll always shine yellow
and soon you'll see
her sunshine
reflecting off your own smile
that you cant help but have
when shes around
lifts you off the ground
without a sound
never puts you down
without a bed of flowers
to surround
I tuck her in my hair
so shes always near
her words I hear
when shes not even here
sunny streaks
trace my cheeks
all because of her
my wildflower lover
god how I love her

up so high in a nest
the birdy sings of heading west
doesn't want this life that's been made
laid out so plain
saddled with the guilt and pain
of disappointing the ones who got him there
but looking down the view isn't so scary
and the risk outweighs the wary
of staying
betraying
his dreams
one last night he lets his mother tuck him in to sleep
yet when the moon creeps
across the world
birdy spreads his eager feathers
without a word
and was never heard
from again

hot wax settles
on soft cool hands
we shield ourselves from the wind
with rifts of incense as our armor
leaves us feeling warmer
but that trickle ran to your sleeve
you broke the moment
say you've only had that jacket for a week
you return from your cursing
with hopes of reprieve
silences uncomfortable
he could be there
or not
either way its fine
knows that he enjoys something about me
but doesnt seem to mind
doesnt really care
about it
or anything at all
which is fine
for late nights by the light house
or the living room floor
say we explore
but i wouldnt call it that
its nothing like
staring at the stars
on an abandoned trampoline
wondering who we are
who we cold be
you tell me things about me
im too afraid to see
biking at 5 a.m
skim right by that bus
staring in your eyes
and not being sure of
the feeling i get
so its dismissed
like the bell at 2:30
i see you everytime
locker next to mine
you reach and I decline
but maybe not this time
said id give it a chance
but i ran away
before we could dance
under those tell-tale stars

Wet rain kisses
Hot ground
Breaking the silence
Steam rises
Evaporating the tension
I look into your eyes
Deep brown
My palm urges
To stroke your cheek
Curl your hair
Round my fingers
The tension between us could be broken
Should be broken
Waiting on the skies above
To open up
And let the steam
Sink into my pores
Open my eyes
To yours
Please don't give up

the smoke rose in the air
job is done
   new day had begun
she left him in the sand
soft hands
no shame
his blood traces her chest
time for a new name
new game
  covering her steps
she heads out west

it happens everyday
same time same place
down goes the work bag
out comes the brown bag
dishes pile high
like the cheap wine in your glass
leaves no stain
but the scent i can smell
as soon as i step foot in our front door
whether your home or not
so deeply pervading
my mind
no say in the invasion
im out of the equation
im just a "child"
but tell me mommy
does a child
feel theie soul crumple
feel their heart stumble
over the image in their heart
and the image in their eyes?
does a child
have to wear their headphones in their own home
to blur out the slams you make
the hits your take
against my barriers
ive built so strong
i can pretend nothings wrong
that i always move on
but i cant pretend
not to hate the sound
of liquids pouring
or slamming doors
cracking your neck
pulling your hair
someone get me out of here
the hold you have on me I cannot tear
away from
mom
please
stop

a kiss planted on my collar bones
                    roots spread far
and out they come
    tip of my tongue

set to music
yellowed images
fray the screen as the static
fills the gap of 40 years
everything is so different
hair and clothes
people that you used to know
people come and go
"remember him?"
"they got divorced"
its funny how time can force
such distances
and loss of self
we grow so far from simple joys
those kids arent you
or atleast they "were"
that beauty gets lost
in the belly of the world
it swallowed you up
traded your magic for myth
your innocence for "truth"
your imagination for structure
when you think back
do you remember the feelings?
do you miss them
could you fathom
maybe even having them
now?
but you talk about prices
not considering how life is
so different now
from the hood of your heavy eyes
ridden with disappointment and the lies
of the world you traded the wonder for
seemed to think there was something more
wrong

Smiles across an open room
strangers by skin
lovers by eyes
A grin says the words
that your life story could never speak
your gaze draws me in
we meet again
my gulu gulu friend

Its night, Im in the beach parking lot
Your presence weighs heavy
like Your hand in mine
that I could never seem to close mine completely around
guess thats how the love slipped out
or maybe it was
the game of lust
whats wrong with saying
lets make love
you swat  my hand from around your waist
or sidestep as I try to kiss your face
in a public place
why would i waste
my energy and love
by agreeing to be "civilized"
those words I said
to you
crashed like meteors on your perfect plan
tried to send them out of orbit
but your not superman
and I don't need to be saved
or put on a story book page
no valiant knight to carry me away
stiff like the towel left in the sun
after a day of salt and sand
your arms never seemed to wrap around me the right way
and with each shake I gave
you showed no sign
of comfort and warmth
i tried to shower you with my love
but even
that well can run dry
you asked me how I
didnt cry
but i look in your eyes
and feel nothing
and i think its becaus
I finally told myself
that thats okay
your back with her now
saw it coming all along
she wont let you walk all over her
like I did
she wont shut out her dreams
just to make your day, like me
she wont give up
what makes her heart tick
looking at it now,
you were always a ****
and I'll always be there
******* your ego up
because i was the only one
that saw through
the red cape get-up

The clothes on my back
have nothing on
how your eyes flash
your nails that rash
red trails down my back
the shoes on my feet
could never beat
you lying next to me
breathe you in deep
youre mine to keep
but glitter falls from clouds
and the curtain closes
take a bow, shows over
later you'll come over
bite marks trace my shoulders
roll me under
roll me over
the sheets on my bed
cant get out of my head
your arms
your skin
Id rather be instead

I speak my mind
two words too deep
too late to stop
the earthquake, the shake
of your voice
reverberating off of memories
i know to well
You speak the wine
that you drink
or fill
your sadness, or possibly
the madness
you've created
that you say has been fated
maybe I should have waited
until the morning
when your better
we pretend its all better
maybe you don't remember
how I tented up my bedspread
ear phones in, dead head
pillow stained eyes red
yet your cries  ring even louder
shout that things will change around
here, but your words are thin
and your mind so slim
to the real
to the love
to the things that just don't seem to be enough
for you