For awhile, I wanted to smash things.
I still do sometimes.
I wanted to smash plates and glasses to hear the noise my heart was making.
But I realized, I would have to clean the mess in the end.
No one was around to pick up the broken pieces anymore.
I wanted to destroy anything.
I wanted to destroy friendships, and relationship, and everything good.
I wanted to destroy anything that had destroyed me.

It felt like a hurricane.
A never ending storm.
But one day, the sun comes out again.
After days, that felt like years, you sat inside, wondering when the howling and the pounding would end.
And the next morning, the skies are blue.
You're almost mad at the weather, at the skies, and the earth for not mourning longer.
Days of darkness do not suddenly turn bright.
You were mad there was no gray.

But you are not the weather, and this is not a hurricane.
This is life. Your life.
You are allowed to have gray days before brightness again.

But like weather, do not mourn forever.