I know what its like to be scared of your own mind
examining yourself
trying to escape the prison that is your brain

it began with a look from afar

gossip between friends, late night calls, and snickers of secrets

it spread like a virus

he began to acknowledge, talk, and that smile that blew up like a volcano

first date, how about a stomach is a pit of nervousness

it developed into something called love

his eyes were filled with the reflection of me

i realized the importance of me is equivalent to his possession for cars

i never knew its possible to mean that much to someone

the sea of butterflies went over me like a bullet that paralyzed me

his arms wrapped around me like it was his world

he looked and spoke
"here is to forever"

my lungs are filling with water that represents suffocation

the suffocation is a parasite that i cant escape away from

it pins me at my most vulnerable i don't get a choice

it had to try and get away
i had to

it **** many mountains to climb and streets to run

after many mistakes and scratches after the fights with him

i've made it
i've done it
i won.

pictures do hold a thousand words

and actions are louder then words

words only speak what your body cant say

its a sea of endless conversations and a field of small talk.

Snickers of secrets come from each corner

the process is still mind numbing
the silence is deafening and now i'm stuck starting at the faces that embarrassed,
humiliated,
and laughed at me.

but thats me repairing myself
fake it til you make it

starting over means exiting your past.