This will destroy you.
This feeling.
Like a car crash inside of your chest.
This exhausting, unforgiving and unrelenting feeling.
This will destroy you.
This will **** the soul from your veins,
and you won't even try to stop it.
This free form, endless feeling.
This will take it's time.
You will never understand this.
You will be ok with that.
You won't want it to ever stop.
This will define you.
Even the strongest won't survive.
But they are the ones we will remember.
They are reminders of why we live.
This will hurt you.
This is how it feels to be on the edge.
This is what hope is made of.
This feeling.
This will complete you.
This one word with more meaning than could ever be described.
This feeling of drifting in the dissonance.
This feeling.

If safety's an illusion, it's the best trick in the book.
If love's a game, then who makes the rules?
Can I spend my nights ankle deep on sandy beaches,
just trying to find Orions belt?
What if I just whisked myself away on a breeze?
I could flow through the atmosphere,
faster than a jet engine,
louder than a thunderstorm,
stronger than steal.
Or what if I fell in with the waves?
I could crush, crash and roll till my heart explodes.
The sound of my breath alone could make the mountains
shake with concern.
Perhaps I could be infinite.
I could prop myself right up in the stars and talk to god.
I could say "It's beautiful up here." and he could just smirk,
knowing that we're the only ones that know.
Maybe I could just congregate with the street lights and
pretend we were the very stars themselves.
We could believe what ever we wanted.
We would never have any problems finding Orions belt.

One day I just woke up.
There were tears in my eyes and a hurricane coming out my mouth.
I was wrapped in blankets and handed to people I didn't know.
I learned to live on this planet I had never been to before.
The big bright light in the sky warmed my blanket.
Some where on my new planet, some one was feeling the same.
One day I might get to meet that person.
I wouldn't mind sharing my blanket.

I feel like skipping existence today.
I just want to stay in bed, or explode into the fabric of the cosmos.
Return to the stars.
Fuse with the atmosphere.
Be absorbed by the roots of a tree.
Float on the wind in millions of tiny particles.
Or at least get my hands on some STRONG coffee.

When the city shuts down,
and everything is quiet,
and everything's still,
and no one is around to disturb the calm,
you can actually see the definition of the word
beauty.
Sometimes you can even smell it.
It's that feeling you get at 1am while sitting on the beach.
It's the flavor of 3am coffee.
It's the sound of static stations and tv's with the volume turned down
just low enough to fall asleep to.
It's when every single action that has ever existed happened
so you could be brought to this one moment of sheer beauty.
It's when butterflies fall in love with hurricanes.
It's when stars explode, only to be wished upon.
Beauty comes to those that know what they're looking for.

Is it worse to break your own heart,
or keep it out of harms way?
Smoke stings my lips, these thoughts of your hips,
moving with mine...
It's the only thing keeping me from the clouds tonight.
Passion is madness, but Jack and I both know
the mad ones are more fun.
If I could give you my breath, I would.
If you let me love you, I could.
I wish I could understand, I should.
I have around 30,000 nights left on this planet,
and I want to spend every **** one of them with you.
It's cold enough in this universe without the help of
shoulders being turned.
No matter what happens, the earth will still spin.
The stars will still shine, and the sun will still burn,
but it won't be the same
to me.
I will bend to the wind and the rain and to gravity.
I will sail away, never to return.
I will sleep with the stars and the sky,
but I will always remember your sway.

It's those moments right before bed that
I miss you
the most.
I can feel you in my chest whenever
you're not next to me.
You are the rain.
You are the sky.
You are the piece that fit's
just right.
I remember you in a thousand different ways.
The way you feel, smell, taste, breathe, sleep,
move, talk, walk, listen and smile.
The way you look at me.
The way you make me believe.
I want to kiss you with all the passion that
this world has left in it.
I want to dance us into that place where nothing
exists but us.
And if you show me your world then I'll show
you mine.
I'll show you the colors in the music and the
beauty of a streetlight.
And I won't be afraid.
You are the girl whose soul is filled with stars,
and I am the boy wishing I was where ever you are.

Help.
I'm drowning.
Rip me out by the root.
My heart is made out of Nicotine and brick walls.
I can feel the exact spot where my chest started
caving in.
I feel your finger tips slipping away
from mine.
This undertow, this torrent, this feeling.
It's pulling me down faster than I can
swim.
And just like that everything goes numb.
If I can't make it back, please don't forget me.
Every one I've known, everything I've done,
everything I can't take with me,
it doesn't matter as much as this.
If you remember nothing else, remember
how you made me believe.
You made me believe the unattainable was
not so far away.
That maybe this all isn't some huge *******
joke that everyone else gets.
If I don't make it back, please forgive me.
I swear I didn't want to go.

I feel like I am being forced to disconnect.
Everyday I am farther gone than the day
before.

I can feel my heart
breaking
from years of over use.

My breath is bitter, and
all I
can see is nothing.

I used to know everything.
Now I know
too much.

Everything means nothing
now.

At least to me, any ways.

I know the song has to end,
but can't we do
better

than this?

Where is that feeling I
can't live without?

It doesn't even make sense!

I hope there's time to salvage
the ghost in this body.

I mean, I didn't even get
to say good bye.

I got high again today.
Not the way most
people do.
Sometimes I need to be above it
all. Sometimes
I need to look down on
things and wonder what
they look like when no
one looks at them.
The sirens in the distance
scream like children, piercing
the night like a
safety pin through
fabric.
I wish I could
live like this.
Where there is always
a nice breeze to
kiss me on the cheek,
and tell me it will be
better
no matter how ******
up things look.
Where I could
see whats
happening.
I could always
be there.
And people would notice
me staring
at them, and they
could gaze back.
And
every now and then
they could
smile.
They don't have to,
but they just do it
any way.
With out force,
Without fear of rejection.
How wonderful that
would be!
And maybe, just
maybe,
One of them could walk
up here
to join me.
And we could watch the sun
wander off.
And the concrete mountains
would breathe with us.
Breath by Breath
we could watch the world
pass just under out feet.
Just under out feet.
How wonderful that would be!
And to every one else,
we would just
be two
young
kids on a parking garage.
But to us, we would be
invincible.
And we could wait up
for the sun to come
home.
And watch the world come
back to life.
And not one person
would have the tiniest
notion that we beat
the statistics.
That we lived forever in
just a few short hours.
How wonderful that would be.

Tonight I walked with the waves.
I walked to the end of the pier,
just to say
              hello.

Usually the water is frightening, and
tonight was no different.

I said
"Why keep going? It might be dangerous."
But just then, and absurd thought
crossed my mind.



Why not?



Kept walking.
When I got to the end, I
stopped.
I listened.
   I listened to the waves
       inhale, and exhale.

"Thank you." I said.
Because even now, as I sit here and write
      in the dark.
I know you will always be there for
me.

Through everything.
Through the
fist fights, the
   arguments, the
      break ups, the
         divorces, and the
            injuries
after every one is gone,
you will still be here.

And when I am old, and frail,
and full of
   memories
we will always remember the night
I walked with the waves.


Thank you.

I have absolutely nothing to say.
That is the probably the scariest reality I have
ever faced.
Everything's cold, and everything stings.
And I feel so alone.
Is it possible for this to be as bad as it seems?
I am tired of floating in the static.
So I slide out of focus.
And I'll walk till I can't understand the
words around me.
And you'll never see me again.
You'll say I'm sorry, come home.
And I'll say you blew it, I'm already gone.
I'm the ember in the flames.
You're the wind at my back, you just don't know it.
So lets call this night a draw.
I'll be jaded and you'll be bedridden.
Maybe we can meet up in the end.
But I doubt it.

I knew I was going to die tonight.
I knew because I needed to feel the wind in my hair.
I needed to see the rain in the streetlights.
I remember falling.
I remember breathing so hard that the ground shook.
And I remember the look on their faces.
I'll never forget the eyes that told a life story in a split second.
I'll never forget the words that could crack a soul right in half.
I'll punch a hole through this god ****** real world if I have to.
I will dance like fire until everything is burned away.
Until there is nothing left.

And I'll dance with the breeze as it rushes around me.
I may look gone, but I will come back for you.
Either leave no one behind or don't go at all, that's what I say.
I wish more people understood that.
I wish more people could see the beautiful world I see.
And as I sit here pressing pen to paper, I have this feeling that no one ever will.

I wake up in the moment I fall asleep.
I slip away between the sunsets.
I exist in an idea.
I am lucid, pliable and willing.
You are the world.
You break the jaded and keep them broken.
You think you've got us all by the throat, but you don't have me.
I am the fighter.
The resistance.
The artist.
I am here to drag people kicking and screaming through the *******.
I am here to put the stars back in the eyes of the masses.
So let's bring the dead back to our version of life.
Step back from the brink.
Take action!
Walk through the fire while you still have life in your bones!
Make change!
Stop asking for it!
Explode into existence!
Burn complacency to the ground where it belongs.
Have we forgotten how to dream?
I can almost SEE the bend in the horizon!
It's so close!
It's time to grab it by the collar, and with love in our hearts and war
in our eyes, explain the meaning of life.
I will fight till the last breath in my lungs passes through the smile
on my face.
So do what it takes to never give up, because the only things that
really matter are whatever takes you to the clouds.

This road is longer than I thought it
could ever be.
Endless is an understatement.
And who ever thought I would have to walk
the whole thing alone?
So many were lost in the war.
I remember
all
of
them.
I never thought I would wish for the
weight of the world.
I never knew that nothing could hurt
so bad.
How did I make it this far?
Why didn't any one else even try?
They didn't even ******* try.
I fought so hard.
I couldn't stop fighting.
Now it's just me.
So which way do I go now?
War's over, bodies counted,
and I'm looking for the end.
I can't see, so I don't believe.
How could I?
How could any one?
I will twist my heart till I disappear.
I will find the end if it kills me.
I will look death in the eye and ask
"What took you so long? I've been
here for days." as his hand trembles
its way to mine.