I don't understand
Why you take their phones
And use them to send me messages.

I don't understand
Why I dream about you
Day and night

I don't understand
Why I suddenly find you so perfect
When it used to be the opposite

I don't understand
Why you send so many mixed-messages
My mind says one thing, and my heart another

I don't understand
How this is so complicated
I want everything to fall into place

I just want to understand
What you're thinking.
Because I don't think I ever will.

I want to be someone different.

I've always been quiet
Only talk if I'm comfortable around you.
Very small, I never stand straight
That requires confidence,
I've never had much of that.

But that's not who I wanna be.
I want to be outgoing, participate more
I want to have confidence,
Be able to stand tall and proud
Talk louder, and be sure of myself.

But I can't.
I have hardwired my brain
Into being this way.
Acting the same as I have since
the very first grade.

It's not as easy as it looks,
To stand tall, be outgoing.
To know who you are
And be comfortable in your own skin
When you've trained yourself to be this way.

Like I have.

I don't know another way
to talk, act, or walk.
I'm small, shy, and I do try
To slouch away from things I don't know.
From people who might criticize.

Maybe one day,
When I'm older, and I know more
About who I am
And about who I do and don't want to be,
Maybe then I'll be the person I truly feel that I could be.

I'm self conscious.
You are too
Its hard not to be
It's hard to love yourself

Too be able to see past
All the things you hate.
It's quite a feat,
I know I struggle.

We hate on ourselves,
We hate on each other,
We know we shouldn't,
But we aren't stopping anytime soon.

You hate your thighs,
She hates her stomach,
They hate their waists.
No one can escape

The ridicule brought down on ourselves.
There is only way to end it
Stop hating yourself
And start loving your body.

You know that it's true
I know that it's true
But we both know, everyone does,
Its much harder than it seems.

It happened.
He talked to me
At school, in class
Everyone around saw it
I couldn't have made it up.

This has never happened
Not sure how if it was wrong
Did I talk too loud?
Did my face go bright red?
Oh well. It doesn't matter.

Because it happened.

So short, barely a conversation
He asked a question
I answered
Not the best I guess,
Cause he didn't understand

So many things
So many reasons Reasons
Why it was awkward
How I did it wrong
Could have done it better

But, it happened
And maybe, just maybe,
It will happen again.
And again.
And again.

Him.

You know who.
His face appeared in your mind
His name whispered in your thoughts.
As soon as you read the word.

He means something to you
Something special, something different.
You know it, deep within yourself
It isn’t something you can change

He makes you laugh
He makes you cry
He’ll make you mad,
But it makes no difference.

He is always in your thoughts
Before you fall asleep
As soon as you wake up
Everywhere you go

You long to be with him,
But sadly it doesn’t work like that
He passes you in the halls,
without a second look

He invades your dreams at night
And your thoughts as you lie awake
Hoping, wishing, begging, praying
That one eventually one day,
Your dreams will become reality.