I cannot explain the dread I feel
when you look at me with those eyes.
As if I had failed.
Your admonished stare pounds me and my heart
sinks with the pressure.
The sheer weight of it all;
No normal person could thrive
(let alone, survive).
The knot in my throat,
stomach and mind is impossibly
taught.
Impossible.
That's all it is.
It is impossible for me to function
knowing I failed you.

If I died tomorrow,
would you have loved me
yesterday?

I have been mistaken for quite sometime now--
    I do not need you to release me with the truth;
    Only I have the power to do that.

I have forged these chains of ignorance with passion;
    Blinded by solemnity
    I hopelessly waited
    for you
        to rescue
            me.

How foolish, for only I hold that key--
        As it should be.

So I will say my "goodbye" once more
    And shut the door
    because I am strong enough to
And these chains will be vanquished
    by my own
            heart,
   mind and
        soul.

Flowing words
   do not beat
as the rhythm of my heart
For they are scarce
   and hard to come by;
Though quiet it seems
   it beats in rapid
succession
At times
     in silent discontent,
    in chaos caused
  by my own façade;
The ironic cadence
   becomes unbearable
And with each--
          sounding--
              beat--
I become weaker,
      and
          weaker.
Yet, I stay in silence
    all too afraid
to scream
        and disturb the peace
Though I compromise my own.

So in vain I sit
in hope someone
will hear
                  the stillness
which rings in
my ears.
My façade is
  all too great
an impenetrable burden
of my own creation
It is this harsh and
       succinct
rhythmic tone
which is my demise
I am trapped
         trapped in structured
synchrony
for the appearance of calm
And I cannot
    quiet my heart
                  and
                                     release
For I am utterly
   scared of the consequence

So I turn
  to you
as I fall from
pressure.
You manage to
calm my quiet,
discontented heart
As no one has before;
The sound is bearable--
the beat has returned;
soothing and calm
Your eyes
      announce
there is nothing
wrong;
there is nothing
wrong;
It will resolve--
   and it has
A better song
      stays in
              my
                 Heart.

Then I shall walk forevermore
Into the ocean
Onto the shore.
The wind’s caress will guide me there
From grains of sand
To heaven’s stairs
The waves will beat onto my heart
Reflecting stars
So far apart
Yet close enough for eyes to see
The dreams of hope
And hope of dreams
Then I shall walk forevermore
Into the ocean
Onto the shore
With closed eyes and open heart
Hoping this should never fall apart.

As you kick me out your house to leave
I do concede
These feelings that I plead
For you
My heart still bleeds
For you

But whether you understand or care
Is neither here nor there
I simply breathe air
For you
An unrequited affair
For you

These words are conglomerated
Only confusion is created
Cognitions translated
For you
Feelings inflated
For you

A bleak misunderstanding
A fatal crash-landing
But feelings expanding
For you
Notwithstanding
For you

Despite this bitter fate
These feelings won’t abate
I will stand by and wait
For you
In a terrible state
For you

A night of disappointments.
Exasperations and constant
reminders of what could have been.

Why can't Happiness embrace me
for a single moment
without Regret
seeping in
from the sides?
His cold and spindly fingers
eventually seize me;
and I am unmoved
by the sweet sounds and encounters
of Joy;
He tries so hard to move me,
yet, to no avail.
The warm and comfort of
his presence goes unnoticed,
for Sadness enters
after I have been
raptured by Regret.  

As I sit,
crying
Sadness softly sits
besides me;
he whispers,
"just let go; nothing will be resolved,
just let go."
I listen, his beckoning words,
the moroseness, in
his voice
is convincing and enticing.
Happiness, and Joy
are no match for his song.
This ballad of sorrowful peace;
stories with no
happiness
ever
after.

Less eloquent but all the same;
Your words and heart are not in vain.
The lyrics that you do express,
My ears and heart they do caress.

I've never smiled so much before;
The cause of which I do adore;
Your eyes, your smile, your gentle gaze;
Each time I breathe I am amazed

That you and I do feel the same
Together we shall toss the grains
Into the sea, that grand abyss;
For fear and doubt should not exist.

As salt dissolves into the sea;
We sea the truth of what can be.

If we live in constant fear
We cannot live at all.
The only strength we find within
Is the will to fight on;
To chase our dreams
Knowing there is an end.
Lo, we cannot--must not
Fear this end
But must revel in it--
For we have never been through it before.
Fear not in it,
But take comfort in knowing
The unknown is
Just
Beyond.

Relying on a response
By your hand
Holding my heart
So delicately it beats
Unremittingly of songs
And tears it weeps
For love of hope
Alone I cannot win
Your affection

Do I dare
Strive for more
Than what has been
Of late nights
I lay awake
Dreaming of dreams
Do not come true
Love will prevail

Selfishly, I want you
to be mine.
Egregiously, I err
on doubts.