every blue moon i show up (come home) (at my family's home)
go into every room,

build up momentum
spiral lose control
crash and burn
eventually giving into sleep
leaving messes

i rise out of the couch
clawing my way out of (through) knitted blankets
pull the debris off my body
and feel my blood returning to me

every blue moon i show up (come home) (at my family's home)
go into every room,
leaving (leave) messes,

build up momentum
spiral lose control
crash and burn
eventually giving into sleep

i rise out of the couch
clawing my way out of (through) knitted blankets
pull the debris off my body
and feel my blood returning to me

i don't really know what i am

some sort of removed ******

i watch people dance from across the room, feeding off of their lack of reserve

their ability to lose control

(photosynthesizing)

am i a flower or a vampire

what's the difference

i just let myself rust and die
over and over again
i retain nothing that allows me to sustain myself

life?
don't care for it

i feel like i have nothing
not even a candy bar
something so simple
something i could have easily prepared
if i cared

it ***** that this is my path
if i don't ask or help i'll continue to whither

my resources will be lost
my health will continue to deteriorate

and if i don't build my intimate connections
expand upon them
devote myself
i'll end up alone

why has this been my path?

every blue moon i show up
go into every room,
leaving messes,
eventually giving into sleep

i rise out of the couch
clawing my way (through) (out of) knitted blankets
pull(ing) the debris off my body
(and) feel my blood return(ing) to me

the uber driver asks me if i'm smoking
only on the inside

the uber driver asks me if i'm burning

the uber driver smells the smoke on me
and asks if something is burning

stopped clenching my jaw

went home