for some reason buying a toothpaste different from the one your mother always bought feels like a slap in the face
but that's called self-care
------
(floss so hard i hit my family's (invisible - psychic) line of grief)

(floss so hard you (i, we) get out the familial grief  in between your teeth)
----
that surpasses hers
is a slap in the face
the quality of my toothepast sitting next
my self bought toothepast sitting next to yours
surpassing


the new toothepaste i (just) bought for myself
surpasses the one you raised me on
what a slap in the face

my special bought toothepaste
sitting next to yours
surpassing your self care
what a slap in the face

(oh yeah)
(right)
thats what feels bad
(not right)
(that the bone has been eaten away)
(i'm feeling where the bone has been eaten away)

all of a sudden i'm back in my body

disease has so much personality
(when (once) you humanize it)
(you just have to humanize it)

i thought i learned that before

it took wasting away in my own body to realize that i'm not invincible
and in the process i met (where) my mother (thought she was invincible) (also thought she was)
(and where she) suffered the same fate
i've met so much trauma there
so much trauma in that space
----
ever since meeting you there i haven't been able to look at you the same

i'm just burning is the thing
( i've been burning all month

---

the thing is i'm burning
i've been burning all month
---

i'm actually burning

i want candy
i want (to be) home
(i want to be) chauffeured

who am i to continue to rise?

all there really is to do IS rise from the ashes....
it's all i really know;
an audacious effort (really)
[who am i to continue to rise?]