She sighs and
everything is okay
With the world

Every night i dream of home
And every morning i wake up here
But here is home
and there i was unhappy.

I enjoy her
But to what avail
To string her along
With heartfelt sadness
So she could be near
And I won't be lost
But depression she owns and
Her happiness I collect on

I can imagine the worst while drunk
I can imagine a man
pulling a gun
and blasting one into my chest.
I can feel its wave
one to surf until it fades and I drift
ashore.
But, i cant see
you leaving me.
With less than words, slowly
like badly burnt rice.
I know when you taste like smoke
and that taste makes me not want to be near you
but
i never see it coming.
and i hope it never does again.

Im sorry,
I never meant to say those words
I meant to say *******.
Every time I apologized
I always wanted to say
go **** yourself.
I changed them out
to make you feel like something special
but i forsook my own being
I forgot to be me and
left building blocks to our own death
and now they crumble.

She would start.
Skott left her last year.
then she went to Matt.
Matt all antiquated
Reciprocated then revoked
Getting married this year
to some other chick.
She went to James
lovely bloke.
Folks sent him to rehab
Forgot everything.
then Andy, and Roy.
Started off well.
Each got all individual
both said
my life ain't right
baby you're too good
I'd be unfair.
"well i think we should"
She teared and talked back
then denied
both abated and baked
he requited in the woods
Who was left
in her little window.
no one
She sobbed to me
and I listened.
I wrote for her
and
she said
i think i should
Fixes the wound
makes it feel better
she felt marooned
like a scorned *****
But she would say this
and i would listen
him she would miss
and her eyes would glisten
But I wrote too
mainly about her

I'm not one for long titles
with well written diatribes about broken fingers and lost souls.
I've always been better
with the whole ******* aspect of things.
Like a pretty flower crumpled under cheap boots.
Like an old fashioned pity party.
With the teacups and all.
Fishes hold bones like old people.

And i tell myself
Im not in love
im not in love
im not in love
When i see her face
But am i wrong?

Sometimes i wish these words could do justice
for the women who exist in my life
so i could make them sound as amazing
as they existed in this world
They are fantastic.
but

Im a devil with a bad title
long words and broken
like conjunctives or
the old sayings
barking up the wrong tree
And with nothing
At its top
Where do you find fruit
Juicy enough to delight in
No skyline to admire
Just less tree to climb
And lost words in the fray

in love.
I am,
Maybe she doesn't know how much
maybe i dont either.
bit by bit.
in my arms  
i wish to take her.
cradle her and
kiss.

I dream of poems
and windows blight
with all the songs
and all my might
i cant mistake
the words unsaid
and even though
with poems read
its world falls
and the towers too
for every turn
comes back to you
with spring comes
the falling rain
it is *******
to rhyme with pain
for pain doesnt seem
to know its words
and always takes flight
like callow birds
the summers seep
like forgotten tea
wax and wane
like spring seas
and in my mind
a dream like state
i detest the rhyme
but that is my fate

I don't know
what it means when you
say to us

I like you
Whell like you
Ya
Like you


Don't look like that
Well...
Yep

that's all i had to say

Night came
like ivy climbing a tree
we sat and watched
the ivy clung to our heels
and scratched up our thighs
wind sifted through our hair
it carried the moon
Its frost fell onto us
we wouldnt stop it
She smiled. I couldnt.
our feet bare
wrenched against the rough shingles
each grit reminded me
of the words she spoke
her fingers pried into mine
when the sky turned black
Then I would wait.
We would wait.

I find my time
With the
People I want to spend the lesser of my time
with
Undeniably so
Spinning loose thoughts and phrases
That cultivate nothingness
Why am I here
I ask
But
There is no answer
Only people

sometimes its hard to
be happy with her around
but then i just smile

i woke up with something i wanted to do
until i realized my life was through
and when I sat down and calculated it all
I found that I had let my dreams fall
I spent too much time in the comfort of my bed
I spent too much time in the comfort of my own head
And when I realized there was nothing i could do
I remembered I could have left with you.

I wonder
If you read me
For the drunk
Or the resourceful
Or the remorseful
Or cause somewhere in my broken English
There was a prize to be found
But there is nothing here
I wouldn't say

Like the sacrifice of young thieves
propriety is gained through noble means
and us with hearts of jackals
Accept it with teeth blaring
And smiles abound
And what remains in our
tarnished hands or
loveless regrets and emptied
thoughts
what have i to gain
from stripping those of their spoils
devoid from its own
gusts of wind keep me up again
like a summertime id like to forget
despondent, taking everything
with nothing to give
But time.