Getting colds are the best,
It's when no one can tell if you're crying or not.

I wish I had a hobby or passion
Something like painting or singing
But no my hobby is staring in the mirror
Crying at my reflection and scarring

no one cares,
I buy you a drink,
You chug it down,
You leave me at the table.

I sit there the whole night,
I wonder what I did wrong,
I am numb, empty and can't move,
I get up and walk home.

I chug a bottle of *****,
Walking gets harder,
Vision gets blurry,
I wake up on the road,
And I will do it all again.

I got away to a different life,
Drink away the pain,
Tripping over nothing,
Kissing someone else to get away,
But I didn't realize that I love you.

You told me to write letters to you,
If I did I wouldn't know what to say correctly,
I couldn't say I miss you,
You're on my mind,
I love you,
If I said those things you would stop talking to me,
I don't want you to stop because talking to you makes my day.

I watch the stars,
The moon,
Waiting for a shooting star,
Wishing the pain will go away.

No stars come,
I'm in deep pain,
Going to relief,
Yet no pain has been taken away.

I start hinting about the pain,
You still don't get it,
Anger builds up inside me,
Then it turns to sadness.

I can't breathe,
Tears fill my eyes,
I fall to the floor,
I can't stand being around anyone,
I'm dying on the inside.

But what do you care,
You'll just keep ignoring me.

We were in the car,
I tilted my head back,
Looking out the window to see stars,
You looked at me then did the same,
You made me feel sane.

Dancing in the mist,
Cotton candy fills the sky,
Waterfalls filling my ears,
Then the dancing stops,
Cotton candy turns into a dark sky,
Waterfalls stop flowing,
And the loneliness and thoughts flow inside me.

I told you I liked you and we kissed,
Two days later you said everything is awkward,
Then one week goes by and you said you regret saying that,
We dated for a month,
Physical things escalated,
Then one week later you broke up with me because you wanted to be friends,
I'm not giving you anymore chances.

My eyes see you,
I see you,
But you don't see me.

Being little was the best,
I didn't have any worries or stress,
But now my whole life is a mess.

Heartbreak happened at 15,
Crying every night,
Now I have no feelings.

It's that feeling when you finish crying,
And when you're done you have no feeling,
You stare at the wall afterwards- not moving, you feel empty and you don't care,
But it's so great not to care about anything.

You were cleaning my room,
You went through my dresser,
Found my journal,
Read the first page and stopped
Because it was too depressing,
Invasion of my privacy.

i think of you at night
or when a new crush comes into my life
i think of your smile shining bright
you always wanted to escape and explore wildlife

you eyes pierce through me
locking me in a gaze
you are so carefree
but loving you is like trying to figure out how to escape a maze

you said i love you
and maybe that was a mistake
because you didn’t mean it
and now my heart aches

i know there are plenty of fish in the sea
but i can’t help but wonder what we could be

You went to camp,
A great time to focus on other people,
I got over you,
Then I had a dream of you,
You said you missed me,
Now I'm at stage one.

What is it going to take for you to notice me,
I've tried everything ,
From walking by you to texting you,
You don't get it and I'm crushed,
Still crushing on you.

I'm fine,
It's ok,
But I can see your eyes are full of pain.

I can pretend to be okay,
I just don't know if I can all the time.

Then pretending ending when I started crying,
Everyone starring,
You rushed over gave me your jacket,
You hugged me until you got yelled at,
Everyone started to look at me differently then.

It's like you saw my insides,
You saw my aching pain,
You said all these nice and sweet thing,
Then you shut everything out
And then I knew you were pretending.

I can’t recall the last time someone asked me if I was ok. Correction: My bad, I do, but that one person who asked me everyday doesn’t talk to me anymore.

All I want is to hold your hand and just kiss you once but that would be a mistake because i would be falling deeper and you would would leave me in the dust.