Air full of change, seasons

of life pass and vanish

forever. hide away, dont

let emotion take you over.



then it's all there.

pride, pain, power,

pending potential.

it braids inside.



ready?

we're so close now i can feel
a wave every time you move.
not touching.

the girl is sitting on the boy's lap
he's holding her waist, legs twined.
but shes not me.

sitting next to you, ur knees,
we touch, then jump apart.
we never used to.

super cute drunk girl skipping,
**** boy being the man.
i'm busy playing mother hen.

our faces inches apart, smiles,
not important, eyes say all.
breathing as one.

i'm the one who told the boy
how to get the one girl he wanted.
whats wrong with me?

a joke only we understand,
a converstion we can remember.
what happened to us?

oh. i did this.
i fell for the boy,
i gained her friendship.

i made a decision to wait,
to not go for what i wanted.
for you.

i became your friend, explained
how to date my best girlfriend.
i ended possibilities.

and told you because i'm dumb.
ruining any chance of protecting
what we did have.

i dont hate the girl, she has
nothing to apologize for.
neither does he.

*its not their fault i'm in love.

an automatic response, an unimagined answer.
is that really what I want?

true love would be nice.
someone to hold hands with,
to share uncensored passion with.
I didn’t answer that.

the right job would suffice.
a feeling of being needed,
bankruptcy not needed.
I didn’t answer that.

I told her I wanted to

get away

from here.  

She wanted to know

where

but I didn’t know,
didn’t care.
            
         only far     

far

from home

But more,
to find a Place where

i belong.


the words flew from my mind,
evading my brain,
involving my mouth.

feeling the breeze touch your skin,
the melage of the warm air.
touching cold tile,
noticing the ware.
delving into Earth's dirt,
having safety offered.
running through the glorious grass,
being touched again and again.
stepping on a sharp glass piece,
loving the realese given.
walking accross road,
pebbles poking through.
realizing what's in you
is what's in all of us.
for once being a part of something
without dehumanization.
humans aren't what this is about,
we don't even understand.

So much warmth in such a cold place.  
A Blanket would be nice, but a coat will
Suffice.  So few Blankets are found in a
Schoolyard.  The cold concrete is, though,
Better than the snow.  

The Shelter under the tree
Here will protect from the falling snow, the
Three walls from the World around.  
Eerie silence fills the wind, such a contrast
To the chaos of life, the chaos
Of inside.  

A place to be alone, just me and the
Tree.  Oh look!  Another is here to grow
With us today.  Barely Inside the snow,
Almost Below, a little green leaf,
Speckled Like those of its kind
Who died a Month ago.

A bell rings, look around and breathe
The cold tree smell in deep.  I’ll see you again,
My tree, when I come back another day.