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Apr 2020 · 171
skin.
Kayla Flanders Apr 2020
you've been gone for quite awhile
and for quite awhile now my skin hasn't quite fit
Apr 2020 · 178
self expression
Kayla Flanders Apr 2020
they told me as a child not to draw on myself.

now i paint flowers where they grabbed my hands to make sure i wouldn't wander off. and rosebuds by the corners of my eyes when they told me not to cry. shooting stars stretching from my ankles to my thighs to remind myself to move and travel. i weave words of wisdom into my hair to mimic the way the rivers cut the mountains year after year- persistent. and carve all the names of people i have loved throughout the years onto my arms.

they told me as a child not to draw on myself. now i tell my children to fill the world with their art.

- your body is your first canvas
Kayla Flanders Apr 2020
i responded with my head in the clouds.
you asked me how my day is.
i can't help but giggle at you.
we are eons of history carried in flesh and blood -
stardust crafted into smiles
                  - and the most you can manage is small talk?
Apr 2020 · 145
empty.
Kayla Flanders Apr 2020
we sit over breakfast. the coffee in your mug curdles.
i choke down the words i should use to apologize with my cereal.
you stare at your plate with an intensity to match your eggs. cold.
our eyes are pleading with the other to understand but neither of us
looks up.

                - what long distance did to us
Sep 2019 · 242
the truth.
Kayla Flanders Sep 2019
i don’t know how to tell you that no part of me wants to settle down and grow old with you

in any other way than i have no intentions of growing old and most definitely none of settling

-diverging
Jun 2019 · 352
forgetting.
Kayla Flanders Jun 2019
how easy it was.

when they asked if i knew you.

to reply "just someone I used to love."

- rolling off my tongue
Feb 2019 · 291
reflections.
Kayla Flanders Feb 2019
perhaps i fell in love with you. when you loved her.
for not loving someone who loved me once.
-karma
Dec 2018 · 176
rewritten.
Kayla Flanders Dec 2018
he said.

know deep within your bones
that there is a story to be told
that ever present in your heart
there's magic for you to mold
deep down i hope you know
you will make a difference in
other people's lives

                                                          ­                                                 she asked.
                                                          ­                          well, how do you know?
he responded.

you already have in mine.
                                          - young love.
Nov 2018 · 186
wildflowers
Kayla Flanders Nov 2018
do not try to be someone else's definition of pretty. if your eyes were not meant to be blue. let them sparkle with curiosity. if your complexion was not meant to be drowning in makeup. let it find its calm within the rhythm of the waves. do not try to be someone else's definition of pretty when your entire being was made for so much more. people find roses pretty. and then they pick them. be a wild flower. bloom with grace. allow yourself to grow to places people never thought you would.
                                                       -like flowers we can chose to bloom
Nov 2018 · 171
she was autumn.
Kayla Flanders Nov 2018
he whispered in
the space between
the seasons
how is it that no
one sees-
the way she left just
like autumn does
in shattered pieces upon
the leaves.
Aug 2018 · 344
the days
Kayla Flanders Aug 2018
it's the days when the sky tells me to relax. and the oceans remind me to breathe. it's the days i can sit among the wildflowers. and the dandelions beg me to never leave. it's the days the comets come out to play with my thoughts. sorting them into black holes and rocket ships and outer space parking lots. it's the days when my imagination is at one with the earth. that i thank the mountains and valleys. for reminding me of my worth.
                                                                ­                  - reasons to be alive
Jul 2018 · 465
and he said.
Kayla Flanders Jul 2018
look at the mountains. the way the clouds seem to kiss the peaks. and the way the flowers curl their leaves in envy. look. look at the way the stream reluctantly snakes its way down the side. and the lily pads cry to stay. don't you see. the stars dancing with the moon and the windblown ***** of our tent. look how the mountains spell love.
                                                       -love is how we see the world in ourselves
Kayla Flanders Jul 2018
he offered her the universe.
                                                       ­               she said she already had her own.
Jul 2018 · 1.0k
lessons
Kayla Flanders Jul 2018
the greatest gift anyone can give you is time
in a world where attention is the new currency

- what i have learned from social media
Jul 2018 · 372
miscommunication
Kayla Flanders Jul 2018
i keep searching for love in vowels and sounds
and you speak in silence
                     - how we say
Jul 2018 · 655
excerpt.
Kayla Flanders Jul 2018
and he said "can we be friends"
                                                i didn't really know. "i have enough friends"

"well what are we then?"      
                                                the silence was deafening. then i wrote my last
                                                poem in the space standing between us
                                                "we are a bundle of photographs in an old shoe
                                                box we put at the tippy top of our closest next
                                                to our old dreams and constellations and
                                                watch it slowly gather dust. and when our
                                                children ask who our first loves were we think
                                                back quietly to the faded memories we shared
                                                and try to push each other from the brain even
                                                after all the years. and perhaps a little bit of
                                                dust gets caught in one of our eyes and we are
                                                asked "mommy are you crying" and "of course
                                                not honey" follows soon after but we both
                                                know somewhere there was an entirely
                                               different universe out there for us to share but
                                               it's okay because we will smile at our respective
                                               children and homes and spouses and you will
                                               say "of course not, it was always your mom";
Jul 2018 · 4.4k
patience
Kayla Flanders Jul 2018
"he may have been sparklers and you may have been fireworks but i was waiting for the whole **** sun."
- self love
Jul 2018 · 441
and you said to me
Kayla Flanders Jul 2018
perhaps all the mountains
we are carrying we were
only meant to climb

the stars and valleys
giggled to the winds at our foolishness
the mountains had been inside us the whole time
Jun 2018 · 430
"different"
Kayla Flanders Jun 2018
that's the problem with today's self-expression
everyone is too busy asking if theirs looks right
Kayla Flanders Jun 2018
that i no longer know how to
                                              -hold your hand
May 2018 · 687
love is.
Kayla Flanders May 2018
love is.
giving someone.
the knife.
to stab you.
with your own words.
whispered.
at 3:00 am.
and trusting them.
not to drive.
the knife.
through your back.
or to sharpen.
your words.
into new ones.
to use.
against you.
May 2018 · 429
timing.
Kayla Flanders May 2018
i think
i loved you
long ago
before i knew
what love was
and something
tells me you
love me now
only because
when i laugh
by his side
you always
turn away and
whenever I
try to approach you
you purposely
run out of things
to say and it
pains my heart
to think that
we were so bad
at getting our timing
right and now the
most we will ever
share is never
sharing our light
i think
i loved you
long ago
and maybe you
did too
but timing is one
hell of a thing
and you still never
said I love you
May 2018 · 652
[the wrong people.]
Kayla Flanders May 2018
you tell me
No One loves you
but i bet that isn’t true
what you really mean to say
is that you don’t love any of the
people that do, which is quite alright
i mean i support all the crap about waiting for the one
but don’t you dare say no one loves you. because.   i.    am.     not.    No One.
May 2018 · 1.6k
illuminate
Kayla Flanders May 2018
You smile at me
through Your tears
and in Your pain
assure me i will
get better too
because You're
the type of person
to have so much light
even the plants want to grow
toward you.
Apr 2018 · 326
directionally challenged
Kayla Flanders Apr 2018
i spent
so long
searching
for the universe
never realizing it was
hiding in disguise perhaps
that explains why i was always
so     very      lost      in       his     eyes.
Apr 2018 · 448
things.
Kayla Flanders Apr 2018
Don't let Anyone
make You feel
like Holding
onto Forever
is a Must
after all
Everything you
love
is just Well
arranged Dust
Apr 2018 · 686
bruised.
Kayla Flanders Apr 2018
if our love was like the night sky
maybe it wouldn't feel so much like a bruise
perhaps we could still find the shooting stars
within the blacks and blues
Apr 2018 · 271
why this won't work.
Kayla Flanders Apr 2018
but you say love like it's a word
and i only know it as a feeling
2 am thoughts during the day.
Apr 2018 · 338
stop calling it love.
Kayla Flanders Apr 2018
they ask me if he gives me butterflies
but it feels more like shards of glass
because i can hear the ticking time bomb
telling me there's no way this will last
Apr 2018 · 601
when i asked why.
Kayla Flanders Apr 2018
he said.
if love is a language I think we got lost in translation.
Kayla Flanders Apr 2018
when she was a little girl
she came stumbling in at a little over 2 foot 2
she wanted to meet the world and see and hear and do
and her favorite place to visit was the library she had made in her mind
the shelves stocked with all the stories and adventures she could find

but when she started kindergarten the other kids had all turned mean
they whispered when the teacher wasn't looking
Nobody wants to read
and she didn't want to be Nobody- that wasn't like the heroes in her book
so now the only time she read was when no one was around to look

and when she decided not to be a Nobody
she had to start worrying about other things
like shoes and clothes and songs and who does and does not sing
and when she turned 17 she discovered the use of pills
from there her life became too blurry to read the warning Drunk Driving Kills

so when she got into the car too wasted in the back
she never would have guessed 7 months later in rehab she wouldn't be able to walk a lap
because broken bones and faded bruises were just the surface scars
because for eleven years she had lost the child in her who read about the stars

but it was tucked away in a hospital bed months after the crash
she met a boy who wrote about her red hair as fire, she decided he could be her match
and on nights she flashed back to screaming white headlights he would hold her hand
and one day with him by her side she relearned to stand

sometimes they reminisced about who they were before the world told them what to do
when she whispered "I used to read" he grinned back "No way, me too."
and while it took a lot of loving to teach her to read again
what a beautiful gift it was to remind her that she can

her whole life had been made of chapters
but she now had the time to realize
just how important it was to look at life with wide open eyes
now she understood just what it took
because when he smiled at her, she realized he was her entire book.
i wrote this a long time ago.
Mar 2018 · 466
what you don't see.
Kayla Flanders Mar 2018
and if i wrote about how you made me feel
it would remind you of how you felt when you first laid eyes on her
and how your heart sighed a little when you first held her hand
and if you wrote about how i never made you fall
you would tell me about all the moments you stared at her
and all the moments you never caught her eye
Mar 2018 · 344
the aftermath.
Kayla Flanders Mar 2018
it's takes two to be a stranger
but you are cold enough for us both
i'm sorry.
Mar 2018 · 543
[on her mind.]
Kayla Flanders Mar 2018
she knows she has to let go
but she's not ready just yet
you were playing with fire
but she didn't see it as a threat
she likes pretending she doesn't miss you
pretending she doesn't care
but you set her on fire from the first moment you were there
and her biggest mistake wasn't falling in love with you
it was thinking you would love her back
now no one can make up for what she thinks she lacks
and as the nights grow longer
she's become increasingly afraid to admit
you don't just constantly cross her mind
you still live in it
yeahh.
Kayla Flanders Mar 2018
hello.
it's been quite awhile.
but i think of you. every now. and then.
i think i would like.
to undo losing you. and get to know. you. again.
uhuh.
Mar 2018 · 1.4k
[this is new.]
Kayla Flanders Mar 2018
i've never believed in god
until this morning i felt like i was on a brink
but there was something there assuring me
i would find a way not to sink.
huh.
Mar 2018 · 281
shattered.
Kayla Flanders Mar 2018
i’m.
waiting.
for the one.
who will hug.
my broken pieces.
back together again.
Mar 2018 · 1.7k
[maybe we can try.]
Kayla Flanders Mar 2018
she doesn't love you.
and he loves another.
so maybe for tonight.
we can fix eachother.
hm.
Mar 2018 · 1.1k
but she looked like art.
Kayla Flanders Mar 2018
don't be fooled.
because someone looks like art.
a pretty face doesn't mean a pretty heart.
Feb 2018 · 326
out of balance.
Kayla Flanders Feb 2018
my life has always been a balancing act
but you've gone and broken my scale
Feb 2018 · 387
pluviophile- lover of rain
Kayla Flanders Feb 2018
sometimes the rain decides
to rip the sky apart
reminding me of the confusion
that's sometimes in my heart
or other times it drowns out
the words i wish i had said
reminding me of the chaos
unfurling in my head
sometimes i like the rain because it understands
how badly i need it to wash away the day
and gives me hope that
if the world can feel like this too,
maybe i'll turn out okay.
Feb 2018 · 514
fighting.
Kayla Flanders Feb 2018
all you did was push
so all i did was shove
and i think we fought for so long
we ran out of love.
thoughts.
Feb 2018 · 2.5k
art.
Kayla Flanders Feb 2018
they said to lighten the colors
that it was too dark for this life
but he decided art shouldn't be comfortable
it was meant to be wielded like a knife
Jan 2018 · 280
eyes.
Kayla Flanders Jan 2018
you tell me my eyes feel very much like gravity
has decided to let go of the earth
but his eyes were like green embers-
it didn't matter what your brown eyes were worth.
Jan 2018 · 469
never met.
Kayla Flanders Jan 2018
last year we found our best friends
this year we found they are someone else
because last year was a long time ago
and now we just have ourself

because people change and sometimes
we change in different ways
and just because you spent last year together
doesn't mean someone always stays

last year we found our best friends
but this year i've learned the past is just the past
and just as high school passes us by
friendships can go just as fast

because last year was awhile ago
and as you will learn people can forget
and sometimes your best friend from last year
will feel like someone you never met
what i learned yesterday.
Jan 2018 · 321
by now.
Kayla Flanders Jan 2018
i asked the universe
for a favor but even
shooting stars didn't
know how, so i had
to keep thinking if
                              we were truly meant to be, we would be
                                                              ­                            by now.
Jan 2018 · 371
inside.
Kayla Flanders Jan 2018
do you ever feel like there are mountains and oceans and stars and galaxies that you are meant to explore. but you're human so you are grounded and can't fly and can't escape this little life you have to call yours. but then you see your brother smile or your mother cry or your best friend laugh so hard you just have to bend over with her on the floor. and suddenly all those mountains you thought you had to climb you were actually carrying and they were weighing you down. so far down that you were sinking past the earth's crust into the depths of the ground leaving everything and everyone behind. every first kiss you have ever had. every first book. first song. first dance. and all of your lasts too. your last goodbye to the boy you thought you loved and your grandma who always wanted to travel the world but never did.
and within the chaotic mess of your little life you have to have. you realize all the mountains and oceans and stars and galaxies you're meant to explore are already inside you.
maybe this isn't a poem, but it's poetry to me.
Jan 2018 · 335
shattered.
Kayla Flanders Jan 2018
she was not shattered like a mirror
she was shattered like glass
and i didn't know what was scarier-
                                                       her jagged edges or her past.
part 3
Jan 2018 · 7.4k
fragile.
Kayla Flanders Jan 2018
she was not fragile like a snowflake.
she was fragile like a bomb.
and i didn't know which was scarier-
                                                        ­  her explosion or her calm.
part 2
Jan 2018 · 993
broken.
Kayla Flanders Jan 2018
she was not broken like the rest of us
her brokenness was all her own
and she didn't know what was scarier-
                                                        ­ being different or being alone.
part 1
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