Let me live in my sin
It's.mine.
Like when you remove your glove, finger by finger, plucking the tips with a pull. Freeing each finger until all are freed. Pulling  your hand out, cupping glove to glove and laying them on that end table you love. The one with the lamp that appeared when your Mom died. The only thing you got from her because you hated her.

I'm hips and lips
******* and legs
Atop two unsteady feet
Always
Treading oppression
Tiptoeing past resembling her
Balancing on a beam
Dangling from poles
Wading through clothes
Skipping with children
Kick starting
Moving forward
My *******
Against heavy gravity

Dying alone here in my Thoughts Of Dreams of all things I should be doing.

Useless and Careless so much sometimes to care and use myself. My abilities.

I need people to understand or I'll always be stuck here inside myself wondering what the hell I'm doing

It has stopped raining now

I want to ball you up
Stick you in my pocket
Keep you there
Denim and warmth
Intermission between sets
Of sticky heavy breathing
Bring you out again for air
And for sneaks of whisky

I dream in Grands
Granddaddy longlegs
Grand stand
Grand old Flag
Grand jury
Grand slam
Grand mal seizure
Grand theft auto
Grand canyon

I woke up so early
To rain and darkness
Counting on my fingers how many hours I slept
two, three, four, five, six
Preparing for the mundane day to come
Motivation for the weekend
For work and school to break
For my family to be home with me
I tread thickly through habits
Smoking several dozen cigarettes
4 pots of coffee
I'm the American housewife
I exist to help every one else progress
Searching for purpose
In being the home you come home to
Stagnant for the greater good
There's beauty there

In my memories you're just a sillouette
Your outline smudged and grayed
I can't see your face
Your voice is muffled
Void of  gestures
I've known you the longest
but I can't remember
"She lives on in your memories"
No, she doesn't

When there is no God and no memories
What do I have left?