I know how it feels to have my heart broken every time there’s a knock on the door
And it’s for me
When you crawl into bed to sleep next to me
When you have already slept in her

I know how it feels to say goodbye knowing you’ll be right back
Upon my own request
To have you chase me endlessly
Wrapped around my little finger

I know how it feels to fall in love with every minute with you
To fall in love with the way the sparkle in your eye fades
When you find yourself in a situation you don’t like
And never once was it my own fault

I know how it feels to hear the little earthquakes when I walk
Step by step another village of my confidence destroyed
Living by the standards that you have set for me
In my own mind.

I know how it feels to watch you want to step off the ledge
And never once did I try to convince you to come back
Because you are strong enough to save yourself
And you know that’s what I’m trying to teach you
To never rely on someone else
The way I rely on you.

Perhaps I would write you a letter
If you would drop me a line
And perhaps these words would flow better
If you could give me rhythm and time.

And maybe I could travel the world
If I has the means to get there
Perhaps  I could cross the street
If you would just hold my hand

I can definitely be more decisive
And you can just let me be
Because I don’t need you
To help me do things for me.

I’m like a bird in a cage not yet set free
Because with you I’m a bird attached to a string
I can fly around but can’t go too far
Because you’re afraid I’ll leave.
I can sing my songs
But only to your taste
I can spend time with you
But you think most of it goes to waste.
When I talk too much and you don’t seem to like it
You just turn the lights off and call it a night and
Birds are a pair that lives together forever
But I’m like a parakeet and you’re like a penguin
I’m colorful. I fly and I sing
And you get jealous because you can’t do those things
So you get jealous and pull tighter on that string
Because you’re afraid I’ll leave.
But birds of a feather flock together and
The boy sent his pigeon with a message and said
“I’ll see you later.”
And he always does.

I never had the confidence
When I was small
To tell on my cousin
Because I woke up to him trying to touch me while I sleep
Or peeking through the cracks of the door when I dressed.

I never had the confidence
As we grew older
To unlock my door during the day
Because I knew he would just push me around
Because “boys will be boys”
And these bruises on my body
Showed that he would always get his way.

I once had the confidence
When I was fourteen
To tell the principle that one boy held me against a wall
While the other put his hands down the front of my shirt
But the principle called me a liar
That the boy just slipped and fell down the hall
And his hands accidently landed in my shirt.
I was told to be silent

I didn’t have the confidence
When I was sixteen
To tell my boyfriend no
Again and Again
So after the first few times saying it
He thought I was giving him my consent
So I “let” him **** me.

I didn’t have the confidence
For the next three years
Because he said I was helpless
I spoke too much
I was weak
I need a man to take care of me
No one else could ever love me
And I believed him

I didn’t have the confidence
Until someone told me
That it’s a beautiful thing to be a woman
That I’m important
That I have a voice.

I now have the confidence
To stop listening to excuses
To not have to say “no” more than once
To be free because I know how it feels to say goodbye
Because I am important
Because I have a voice.

Tracing along the rough edges of this lifeline
A map that shows the places he has been
Halfway through there is a break in time
But you can tell he’s been through worse

Fingers tracing the rough spots on hands
Pausing for a moment in the sad places
Uncharted territory
A discussion we will never have

Wild eyes in an empty room
Finding serenity in the cool
Deep dark blue
The water begins to boil.

Moments spent alone
In places that are filled
With all of our closest friends
A discussion we will never have.