I'm not hungry.
I'm not hungry.
they yell at me to come and eat.
I say
I'm not hungry.
my stomach is aching with hunger.
but I just say
I'm  
    not
         hungry.

you are my 11:11 wish.
every
   day.
you.
     I always wish that you'll text or call
or show a sign that you care.
       you were my 11:11 wish.
                 but you're not anymore.

the moment you walked away, I knew. I knew I was going to be put in misery until the next time I saw you. that last hug, that last final hug, made me want you to stay. watching you walk away, my heart started to hurt. because I realized, my time with you for that short amount of time, meant nothing to you. my heart sank in a pool of gloom, when you walked away. my mind went dark, and even though we still talk, it feels like we don't. your absence makes me tremble. I'm longing your presence to be here with me,  right now. to see you again. to hug you again. and not have to have that last final hug.

sometimes I think about the world, and imagine what it would be like if it were different. if middle aged adults didn't have to drain themselves to their dreading jobs every day. if teenagers didn't have to drag themselves to a living hell. if teenagers weren't so expected of. if they were just average kids, not stressing about every little detail that comes to mind. if toddlers and youngsters didn't rely on iPads and iPhones to have a decent childhood. if only there was a way, to make it all go. to make all the pain and agony leave this horrid lifestyle. if only, things were different.

it's 1:11 in the morning
I need a friend
maybe two maybe three
to keep me going
i can't do this on my own
I can't deal with the loneliness
or the emptiness
or the sadness
but I will
because it's 1:11 in the morning
and I can't do anything about it

Every time someone tells her to, she refuses.
Have you eaten? No.
Yes, this is what she wanted
Every time someone asks her, she says "I already ate".
She's broken, hungry, and done with life.
She screams every time she stands on a scale.
I want to be thin.
I WANT TO BE THIN.
The numbers keep going down.
Only a fifteen years old,
Slowly fading away from life.
All she wanted was to be beautiful,
To be like the girls in the magazines.
To feel appreciated,
To feel loved.
All she wanted was to be beautiful...
But it was too late.