beep, beep
it takes every fiber to rise
the tea,
the first thing she’ll absorb in days.
but it’s exorbitantly scalding.
the one thing she has left races from her very fingertips
she can't keep a grasp on anything.
icy tiles demolish what once was
she gasps
brisk fluids blanket bare feet
the first touch she's endured in months
gone is the conflagration that once consumed her
a cold nonentity remains
will anything ever burn again?

she takes another sip

where is my happy place?

red-speckled, blotchy patch
she wears her sleeves to hide
until the idle silence of the shadows
offers solace to her favorite place
the creature crawls back inside

of her, he perpetually dwells
he hides when the doorbell chimes
his itching growl close-by
only comes out to play when she's alone
craving the rush, she cadges for dimes

in a desperate pursuit, she surrendered
she gave herself to be able to fly
that ****** ******* purloined her soul
and hindered her vitality
she recalls what it was to be alive

tile of a gas station restroom sends shivers through her spine
remorse only resides due to a small flame scorching deep inside
somehow she finds her breath
thirsting for the crowning day, she stumbles to the sink

who is that staring back?

he smiles vibrantly at the ghost of a woman

please don’t do it

for the sake of my sanity please
don’t do it

seventeen years do not allow enough for you to unearth all of life’s uncertainties
I know how you lust for the stars
but for now we must endure a colorless existence
of tired latency among the simple-minded

we cling to this idea of a utopian earth
of supremacy and transcendence
and that our crowning moment is of physicality

but in great fortune befalls an even greater anguish

for in two hundred years
your tomb will reek of a wasted frame
for the most compelling genius of our time

I pray you don’t exhaust
the mind you have been willed

please give life a chance



I’m sorry for your loss