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May 2014 · 530
Courage
Kay-Ann May 2014
courage was a tall honey-golden skinned man
he had striking features
his face portrayed his African heritage is how round full lips and strong accent
all the women stopped chattering when they saw him
his broad shoulders and muscular arms swayed as he strode across the room
long wispy eyelashes fluttered over deep brown slanted eyes
his cheeks were rounded and flushed rose when he smiled

and his body was indeed a temple
he was always encased in an Armani suit which fit him beautifully
its so refreshing to see a man in a suit
his masculine build was adorned with the slightest timidness of his face
he seems to want something out of life
he seems to want to be more than the ordinary
he has ambition
he has grace
he has charisma and charm

and he embodies love
he embodies passion
I wish I had him
i would have the ability to do so much more
I would have adapted the art of being fearless and free

I wanted to know Courage
and I wanted Courage to know me
May 2014 · 10.4k
Dear Technology
Kay-Ann May 2014
dear technology, you are starting to ruin our lives
we're just a little too invested in these laptops and hard drives
something has been lost and we need to get it back
we have lost the ability to truly feel and interact
social media has held us captive and kept us down
immersed in a cyber sea, we are starting to drown
but when I'm far away and i need my loved ones near
just a few clicks will show them I care
but its hard to wrap emails in ribbons and bows
what we would do without Facebook and twitter, no one knows
Dear technology sincerity has become a thing of the past
people start looking for love on computer screens so nothing lasts
nothing is private, all data is open to the universe
chords attach us to the world and that's how we converse
to these gadgets we've fallen prey
we need a social media free vacation to get away
on this journey of life I cant derail from its tracks
so hey technology, I'm gonna unplug and relax
Apr 2014 · 320
me.
Kay-Ann Apr 2014
me.
I've never been that girl
You know what I'm talking about
the girl with the perfect hair and flawless body
contoured full lips and sparkling eyes ..

I look at myself and I see none of that
what do I see?
i see a girl who's sad and terrified
a girl who's drowning in her own fears
a girl who sometimes feels uncomfortable being in her own skin

I wanna feel good about myself again
I miss the days when I was a kid
when I didn't give two ***** about what anyone said about
but I grew and so did my insecurities
I need to start paying attention to myself and my needs

but don't get me wrong
I know there are things about me that are unique
like my quirky laugh and other things
I also know that I have to accept how things are
I can make it easy on myself or make it hard.
Apr 2014 · 282
stop
Kay-Ann Apr 2014
sometimes we need to stop and take a good look at ourselves
stop and just take a look in the mirror
are we really who we think we are?
the time we take judging people we should judge ourselves
we all have a past that we're not proud of
believe I know
I've done some things that I wouldnt even dream of doing now
but that's why the past is the past
and the future is the future
every new day we face
we get a chance to make things right
we get a chance to change our fate
and create our destiny.
Apr 2014 · 406
-
Kay-Ann Apr 2014
-
see it's not that I still want you
although part of me will forever be in love with the thought of loving you
I will forever be in love with my thoughts
of you turning into the boy I thought I knew
but I can never forget you
I can never forget the day you came into
my life and changed my universe
your witty conversation and deep voice were once the highlight of my life
but now they're just a memory
you taught me how to love
and you gave it abundantly
then one day you took it all back
i will never forget that day
Apr 2014 · 466
j.
Kay-Ann Apr 2014
j.
I don't even know what to say
Eight months of this crap and I don't know what to say
you have already squeezed and ****** the life out of me
but now I'm really drained
I'm empty
It's not your words that hurt me
It's the silence
earth-shaking, heart-wrenching silence
I spilled the contents of my heart on your table of thoughts
and you replied with silence
I've fallen into this neverending desolate pit of doom and I cant get up back
I'm empty
I dug deep inside my soul and gave you things
i didnt even know I had
I'm empty
I'm tired
I'm empty
Apr 2014 · 5.0k
cruel.
Kay-Ann Apr 2014
this is a typical story
you see this amazingly cute guy and you like him
and you fell for him
like the blossom
from the cherry trees
he finally notices you and you're now together
it wasnt a normal boy
this one had the sunset in his eyes and you loved it
but little red flags popped up right away
and you saw it but failed to understand
internalize and do something about it
you didnt want to believe it
but now its all over cause there was someone else
i guess you were the side chick
how unwise of you to think you were the only flower in his garden
but oh baby he was digging up other roots
nobody can escape the prison of unfaithfulness
but infatuation never hurt so much
betrayal and deception is what he gave you
and it's dwelling in your heart
spreading faster than an epidemic
you wished you had saved yourself from the pain
but truth is we cant always be saved
sometimes we need to be in pain to know what makes us happy
so basically this is a ten word story:
you thought you mattered but you dont so move on
Feb 2014 · 799
Taje
Kay-Ann Feb 2014
he stood 5'10 , same height as me
Light-skinned with freckles
And lips that look traced with black lip liner

from his eyes I got a certain feeling I couldnt explain
they exuded such love and innocence yet a hint of guilt
but it only made me craved him more

and his smile, his smile gave me life
his smile was so painfully alluring and beautiful
it made me crave him even more

his laugh was my happiness
that noise is the most wonderful sound ever

I've fallen so deep for you, you're the only one that can save me
my stomach's full of butterflies
and Im starving, yearning for your attention

will you please be with me ?
Feb 2014 · 4.3k
Ode to The Weeknd
Kay-Ann Feb 2014
Your music is sensual, dark and languid
Mysterious and ****, hypnotic and sultry
The slow tempo and rumbling bass drums are a heavenly mix
I close my eyes and let the forlorn echoes immerse me
In a sea of falsetto vocals and stuttering percussions

Your music is enigmatic, puzzling and seductive
Pacifying and troubling, calming and cinematic
Your champagne crooning is a movie in itself
Telling me the tales of a gloomy ***-infused hangover life
And it connects to the depths of my soul
Even though I've never experienced it

Narcotized slow jams filled with samples of punk and rock
Transports me to an actual dream world
Your subtly crafted harmonies and beats are celestial
And your lyrics a painkiller
That numbs the wounds in my soul and takes me higher...

Your voice is R&B; but your lyrics are ***** rap
You take such vile words and turn them into something beautiful
and I adore that.
Feb 2014 · 453
suicide
Kay-Ann Feb 2014
What is suicide?
they say it is the action of killing oneself intentionally
I guess being with you was exactly that
every single day was a beautiful disaster
My stomach was filled with dead butterflies
once glorifying at the sight of your face and sound of your name
but now deceased cause everything has changed

You once brought me so much bliss
but this isn't the love I thought it was
I don't know what happened
You just stopped being you
and you had loved me
I'm drowning in your pitch black sea of silence
our love is like a rope tied around my neck
and the more I try to think it's still real, the more it tightens
No, no, no! Stop strangling me
Leave him, leave him now I tell myself
but I cant move.
I let myself self-destruct
and I hate it
You could crack my chest open , rip my heart out with your bare hands
and I would still use my last gasping breath
to tell you I love you
I wont let go and you won't let go
and I hate it
you're killing me
and I hate it

What is suicide?
they say it's killing oneself intentionally
I guess falling in love with someone who can only love you
with a fraction of their heart is exactly what it is
Feb 2014 · 390
Prayer
Kay-Ann Feb 2014
I'm lying on my bed quite comfortable, admiring the pit patter of the rain as it hits the pavement
I open my window and wholeheartedly inhale the addicting aroma of it all...
I open my eyes and I see an intriguing girl all alone
Standing in the rain, looking helplessly to the sky and crying
her beauty was captivating
she had piercing almond-shaped hazel eyes
with delicious full lips
high cheekbones with toasty caramel skin
she was beautiful
why was this majestic girl crying in the rain
firstly i felt bad because here I was dry and warm
and she was out there soaked and sorrowful
I grieved with her, i felt her pain
as if I knew what it was
the love of her life had left her
he destroyed and demolished her very being with those simple words
she feels lost, alone and empty
completely desolate
he took her heart and her hope for life too
A small tear formed in my eye as I knew exactly what she was feeling
I pray for her
I pray that she finds hope again
I pray she realizes that there is life after death
I pray that she takes care of herself
I pray that someone takes care of her
all these things I pray in God's name. Amen.
Feb 2014 · 276
To You
Kay-Ann Feb 2014
I want you to know exactly what you mean to me
and how much I adore you
You will never understand how much I appreciate you in my life
You'll never know how much Im glad you didnt give up onme
You didnt let me drown
You held me up out the waters and saved me
I'm glad
Glad that separation didn't separate us
It really is challenging
Months apart and you're almost over the edge
But i promise I won't let you fall
I know how pessimistic I can be
It's just that I'm afraid to be happy
because whenever I am,  something always goes wrong
I'm happy that you're still with me....
You're not perfect either - I know you're torn inside
But I love you anyway
I love you cause you know me
I love you cause you understand me
I love you cause you accept me
I love you cause you love me
I love you cause you sing a song only my heart understands
So let me see the remains of your heart
and see if they fit into the broken shattered pieces of mine
To make a cracked but whole heart
Please wait for me
we'll lay together content with being beside each other's body
and get drunk and tell each other things we're too scared to say sober.
Feb 2014 · 587
A Real Valentine's Day Poem
Kay-Ann Feb 2014
So it's Valentine's Day and we're apart. I know it must be ****** or whatever with me not being there but I think it's worth it and I really hope you think the same..

So let's rewind back to the day I told you I was leaving. I didn't think I would care that much and I didn't think you would care either. I wish you could understand how hard it was for me to leave you. I swear it freaked me out when I was crying that night. I was like man I just met you few months ago so why do I care so much ?! That was also the day I realized I love you. I don't love you for the simple reasons like appearance or whatever. When you're really into someone, their physical imperfections become irrelevant and you see past all that. I love you for the mere fact that you made me believe in love again. You made me wanna love again. I won't get into all of this but just know that you made me forget about the past and made me not caught up on him anymore. That was truly the best gift ever because no one has been able to do that. I had lost my way and myself but when i found you, I found myself too. The last time we saw each other was brief but great. I was in your arms and at that moment I knew it was where I belonged. This long distance thing has not been easy at all. It's frustrating knowing I can't be there when you need me and I can't reach out for you when I need you. And I know my *** isn't easy to deal with. I'm miserable, moody and insecure. I know you can't stand my insecurity but I'm only like that because I'm scared that you'll leave. I hope you won't though.. Sometimes i hate it that you don't talk to me. Like I would stay up all night to make sure you're alright just so you could tell me what goes through your mind but you never do... I want you to tell me how you're feeling cause I always do. Understand that I'm emotionally, visually, physically and mentally attracted to you.One day I will wake up everyday at 3 a.m. and I will roll over into your arms, then you'll rub my back until I fall back to sleep..

This is not anything big but I just wanted to tell you how I feel. I hope you like it. I'm glad that you exist even if you exist so far away from me ...

Happy Valentine's Day.
Feb 2014 · 363
favorite
Kay-Ann Feb 2014
He once asked me the name of my favorite poet
I replied and said, "God."
He laughed and played along and then asked me which of His works was my absolute favorite
and I said, "It was the one where He wrote you into existence."
Feb 2014 · 376
Untitled
Kay-Ann Feb 2014
And then it finally hit me.
He was an *******. He made me fall for him and most times he wasn't there to catch me.
But worst of all, he made me trust him. He made me think he wasn't like the others. And you know what?
He was right. He wasn't like the others ..

He was worse.
Feb 2014 · 460
Untitled
Kay-Ann Feb 2014
I wonder if biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you wanna do is be with someone

I wonder if scientists can decipher the actual pain I get from heartbreak
Jan 2014 · 1.2k
Fights
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
It seems these days have been the hardest
every conversation turns into an argument
it seems whenever we're our happiest
something comes to erase that contentment

Our fights are like a competition
to see who can get the last scream
you and I are sometimes like a contradiction
because of the way you let me tear at the seams

At times we make more love than sense
And you **** me with all the unsaid sentences
but I don't want this to be like a conquest
I'm not ready to face those consequences

I'll always find one reason to keep holding on
I wanna give up but there's something about you
I don't know if I'm just petrified of being alone
Or its just the way how I just automatically stick to you like glue

but I love you despite all the heartbreak and sorrow
cause if you died today , I would surely die tomorrow.
Jan 2014 · 365
thoughts
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
I thought about you today
It was unexpected like a huge rush of water
trying to drown me
refreshing yet deadly
that's what comes to mind when I think of you
People still say that you never cared for me
but frankly I dont care
I know that somewhere deep within
the cold barren region of your heart
living or dead
big or small
somewhere inside you loved me
adored , cared and craved for me
maybe not as much as I did
but you loved me
no one could ever say that you didnt try ..
you did try , didnt you ?
why am I on your side?
why am I justifying reasons for you leaving me?
why am I trying to make it alright for you?
aah I dont know why
I dont think I'll ever know why
Jan 2014 · 1.3k
deadly
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
what is more deadly
a gun or a thought?


a gun gives you the opportunity
but a thought pulls the trigger.
Jan 2014 · 390
Untitled
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when i leave, you will finally understand why storms are named after people.
Jan 2014 · 538
what kinda
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
what kinda person am I ?
what kinda writer am I ?
am I one of those euphoric persons who writes about their seemingly perfect relationships?
am I one those nature lovers who gives a illustration of their surroundings?
am I one of those somber and dreary persons who writes about their journey to death ?
Am I one of those zealous adventurers who details about the journeys they've had
Am I one of the many who writes about their countless heartbreaks and lets the pain flow through their fingers and straight to the paper?
Or am I one of those unpredictable individuals who just simply write what they feel when they feel to ?
I guess I'm a mixture of all of them
a suprising concoction that turns out to be angelic
I'm not really a writer you know
Im just a lover and a dreamer
With a heart that wants to be heard
Jan 2014 · 1.7k
For Chelsea
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
She was the epitome of a good girl
Funny, cool and the best friend ever
She was smart too , never falling victim to their lies
Always precluding hurt and pain
but she had always craved something real
that thing called love
she no longer wanted to elude all the pain and pleasures that came along with it
so she waited patiently for her knight to come
to rescue her from the state of 'forever alone'
and he did come, he was literally what every girl wanted
when they were together , gravity no longer existed
his very presence made her high
when they kissed , megawatts of electricity and passion flowed through their veins
But soon he started to withdraw from her
He recoiled as if she was dangerous to his wellbeing
everything went downhill for them
she implored him to talk to her, to work things out
after all when you love someone , you just dont give up on them
but he refused and they grew apart
she borne this for a while but the pain became too much
and it all went up in flames
he said he needed time to himself , to figure things out
all the pressures in his life were too much and he needed time and space
he said maybe they would get back together....
she put on a brave face and said goodbye
it exhausted her inside , she tried so hard not to cry
and so she said sorry to every cracked branch and leaf she passed
because she now knew how it felt to be stepped on even after you were broken
the pain still lingers , minutes to hours , hours to days
It is really true when they say nothing gold can stay.
Jan 2014 · 2.7k
Leaving Jamaica
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
I expected this but not so soon
I was just finally enjoying being me
Leaving here is going to be like leaving behind a huge part of me
This is where I was born
Where I grew up , where I first experienced true love
Where I first experienced heartbreak
This is where I became Kay-Ann

But part of me is happy
I'm going to begin a new life
A new life full of possibilities
Surely I'll miss my homeland

I'll miss the food
My dear ackee and saltfish
I'll miss the sights
Devon House and Emancipation Park
I'll miss the people
My friends from school and past loves

But migrating is all about starting anew
Starting that new chapter in the book of me.
Jan 2014 · 493
who
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
who
who do we think we are ?
walking around like we own this place
walking around like we are the queen and king of this ****
ruling over the little peasants and commoners

we were never meant to be normal
we are heavenly, celestial beings
conceived by an angel and a prince

our births were the highlight of the country
they made a festival in honor of us
everyone brought gifts and jewels for us
everybody wanted to be us
thanking us for just being born

but that was long ago
we are no longer worshipped
we have grown into mature human beings
we are no longer royalty
and so the question still lingers
who do we think we are ?
Jan 2014 · 625
The Type
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
I'm the type of girl who will give you my whole heart and expect the same in return
Cause love is about commitment and compromise
You don't just get it, it's something you have to earn
It's like the beginning of a great enterprise

I'm the type of girl who has faith
Cause I know it will take me far
I don't judge by just looking at your face
Because everyone is fighting their own unique war

I'm the type of girl who looks beyond the surface
People like that don't really exist
I hope what we have holds some purpose
Cause I don't want to lose this

I'm the type of girl who sometimes keeps my feelings in
I have dreams, fears and doubts
But love takes off the masks we know we can't live within
and fear we cant live without

I'm the type of girl who will make promises and stick to them
If not me , who ? If not now , when ?
Love is giving someone the power to destroy you but trusting them not to
You are my sun , I want to be brought to life by you.
Dec 2013 · 295
Untitled
Kay-Ann Dec 2013
I no longer question the intentions of my heart ,... I just simply listen
Dec 2013 · 539
Dear Happiness
Kay-Ann Dec 2013
Dear Happiness,

come back.

i have put up too much resistance and you have left me no choice.
your nemesis Sadness and his brother Sorrow have plagued my life and has eradicated my land of euphoric thoughts. they just invaded my life and have left me barren and empty.. they interrogated and frisked me and robbed me of my joy. everybody has left my life and everything i have ever adored has fled. I'm just an expendable little thing , worth no value. life is no longer my friend. and that's why I'm begging you to enter my existence. I'm not alive, just breathing. tell your dear cousin Love to fill my soul with glee and delight. call your friend Wealth to shower his blessings on me. Bring back the twins Family and Friendship to guide me. I need you. this facade i put on is slowly wearing off. let my heart rejoice and sing with elation again .

come back.
Dec 2013 · 4.6k
Nyctophilia
Kay-Ann Dec 2013
The love of darkness or night
This is precisely what I adore
The dark is where i erase my plight
Where my dreams and aspirations take flight
Where I undress my conscience and make love to my thoughts
I don't quite know how or why
But everything seems right when it's dark
It's a hidden land of castles and fairy tales
Where everybody is loved the way they should
and everything makes sense
And that's all I ever really craved
So even when it's daylight
My mind is as dark as the midnight sky
with infinite thoughts like the stars

Nyctophilia - grammatically a noun but could it be used as an adjective?
Ask me how I'm doing and I might say "I'm feeling very nyctophiliac today"
Nyctophilia- it's ironic how at night when most humans are sound asleep
it's the time when I feel most alive
Nyctophilia- it explains more of me than I'd ever be able to
So with that being said
Let darkness fall.
Dec 2013 · 544
you.
Kay-Ann Dec 2013
I will never really understand why I cant leave you alone
what is it about you that is so addictive ?
i know I shouldnt be with you yet I came back
you're no good but I came back
you betrayed me but I still came back
but why? why am I coming back?
maybe its the way our bodies collided like two fine ships
beautiful but ending in doom , sinking like the Titanic
and the mighty waters leaving me vulnerable to whatever
your waves had planned for me
or maybe its way our kisses like diseases
infected the other with a jolt of regret and absolute pleasure
why do we always crave for the ones who are no good for us ?
i guess you're my cigarette
i pull you out of that dark , black box
and light you up when Im cold
keep you on my lips and inhale you
even though I know how toxic you are and can be
but i dont care
cause i love that feeling in my lungs
you're like alcohol too
so tempting and tantalizing on the lips
i get a lovely burning sensation as it sinks in
but i dont care
cause that feeling is heavenly
i shouldnt be here with you
lying on the bed drunk off each other's passion
you destroyed me once and I let you
you're gonna destroy me again and Im gonna let you
Dec 2013 · 472
A. Part Two
Kay-Ann Dec 2013
I broke the awkward silence and spoke to you
An explanation was needed for your actions
Said you were in a really rough patch and didn't think you were good for me
That you weren't best for me
Well how the hell did you know that when you didn't even ask
Communication.
That was always our weak point
Who knows what we could have been if we just communicated more
I wish we did
But the past is the past
I'm still trying to move on
Honestly I still love you
I miss you dearly
Maybe one day we'll be together again
We will
We were meant to be something great
Me and you
I know it, i just know it .
Dec 2013 · 466
A.
Kay-Ann Dec 2013
A.
I sit here thinking and the cold hard truth hits me
I'm not over you
You're still in my heart, my body , my soul
You're in my veins
You were my first true love and you taught me so much
Yes we had our difficulties
Unfaithfulness was evident but that couldn't deny the love we had for each other
I thought love was all we needed
Yeah I thought
I'm very much still in love with you
I remember all the times we had and the little things you said that just made my day
When you see you out there I wave and smile like it's cool
But God knows its not
I break down and cry inside every time I see you
I remember the first day I met you
We were just so excited at the thought of just being together
Even then I knew you were gonna be special
See no one understands how much I loved you
And no one ever really will
They say you never forget your first love
You just never do
I for one know that's true
Dec 2013 · 874
This Life
Kay-Ann Dec 2013
This life is such a mystery
There's so much in sight that we don't see
Sometimes I wonder what's my purpose on this earth
Life can be such a mirth
As if the joy that welcomes birth

This life is complete actuality
We know who we are but not what be may be
Pressure is passion's poison and we get a dose of it everyday
But life is about living for today
You have to take chances or your life will never change
You can't direct the winds but you sure can adjust the sails

This life can be tricky, try not to be compelled
Opportunity never knocks twice but there is always the doorbell
You can never forget but always forgive
Cause the past has a way of holding you captive
Ability can get you far but it takes character to keep you there
Nature can be so cruel, predators are everywhere

This life has so many dimensions
Or maybe it's just a battle of perception
But what we think is not what we always see
Our expectations are so different from reality
But optimism is like the sun and doubt is the rain
Life is only beautiful for those who know how to celebrate the pain.

— The End —