Kay-Ann

Kay-Ann Feb 2014

Your music is sensual, dark and languid
Mysterious and ****, hypnotic and sultry
The slow tempo and rumbling bass drums are a heavenly mix
I close my eyes and let the forlorn echoes immerse me
In a sea of falsetto vocals and stuttering percussions

Your music is enigmatic, puzzling and seductive
Pacifying and troubling, calming and cinematic
Your champagne crooning is a movie in itself
Telling me the tales of a gloomy ***-infused hangover life
And it connects to the depths of my soul
Even though I've never experienced it

Narcotized slow jams filled with samples of punk and rock
Transports me to an actual dream world
Your subtly crafted harmonies and beats are celestial
And your lyrics a painkiller
That numbs the wounds in my soul and takes me higher...

Your voice is R&B; but your lyrics are ***** rap
You take such vile words and turn them into something beautiful
and I adore that.

Kay-Ann Feb 2014

suicide

What is suicide?
they say it is the action of killing oneself intentionally
I guess being with you was exactly that
every single day was a beautiful disaster
My stomach was filled with dead butterflies
once glorifying at the sight of your face and sound of your name
but now deceased cause everything has changed

You once brought me so much bliss
but this isn't the love I thought it was
I don't know what happened
You just stopped being you
and you had loved me
I'm drowning in your pitch black sea of silence
our love is like a rope tied around my neck
and the more I try to think it's still real, the more it tightens
No, no, no! Stop strangling me
Leave him, leave him now I tell myself
but I cant move.
I let myself self-destruct
and I hate it
You could crack my chest open , rip my heart out with your bare hands
and I would still use my last gasping breath
to tell you I love you
I wont let go and you won't let go
and I hate it
you're killing me
and I hate it

What is suicide?
they say it's killing oneself intentionally
I guess falling in love with someone who can only love you
with a fraction of their heart is exactly what it is

Kay-Ann Feb 2014

Prayer

I'm lying on my bed quite comfortable, admiring the pit patter of the rain as it hits the pavement
I open my window and wholeheartedly inhale the addicting aroma of it all...
I open my eyes and I see an intriguing girl all alone
Standing in the rain, looking helplessly to the sky and crying
her beauty was captivating
she had piercing almond-shaped hazel eyes
with delicious full lips
high cheekbones with toasty caramel skin
she was beautiful
why was this majestic girl crying in the rain
firstly i felt bad because here I was dry and warm
and she was out there soaked and sorrowful
I grieved with her, i felt her pain
as if I knew what it was
the love of her life had left her
he destroyed and demolished her very being with those simple words
she feels lost, alone and empty
completely desolate
he took her heart and her hope for life too
A small tear formed in my eye as I knew exactly what she was feeling
I pray for her
I pray that she finds hope again
I pray she realizes that there is life after death
I pray that she takes care of herself
I pray that someone takes care of her
all these things I pray in God's name. Amen.

Kay-Ann Feb 2014

To You

I want you to know exactly what you mean to me
and how much I adore you
You will never understand how much I appreciate you in my life
You'll never know how much Im glad you didnt give up onme
You didnt let me drown
You held me up out the waters and saved me
I'm glad
Glad that separation didn't separate us
It really is challenging
Months apart and you're almost over the edge
But i promise I won't let you fall
I know how pessimistic I can be
It's just that I'm afraid to be happy
because whenever I am, something always goes wrong
I'm happy that you're still with me....
You're not perfect either - I know you're torn inside
But I love you anyway
I love you cause you know me
I love you cause you understand me
I love you cause you accept me
I love you cause you love me
I love you cause you sing a song only my heart understands
So let me see the remains of your heart
and see if they fit into the broken shattered pieces of mine
To make a cracked but whole heart
Please wait for me
we'll lay together content with being beside each other's body
and get drunk and tell each other things we're too scared to say sober.

Kay-Ann Feb 2014

A Real Valentine's Day Poem

So it's Valentine's Day and we're apart. I know it must be ****** or whatever with me not being there but I think it's worth it and I really hope you think the same..

So let's rewind back to the day I told you I was leaving. I didn't think I would care that much and I didn't think you would care either. I wish you could understand how hard it was for me to leave you. I swear it freaked me out when I was crying that night. I was like man I just met you few months ago so why do I care so much ?! That was also the day I realized I love you. I don't love you for the simple reasons like appearance or whatever. When you're really into someone, their physical imperfections become irrelevant and you see past all that. I love you for the mere fact that you made me believe in love again. You made me wanna love again. I won't get into all of this but just know that you made me forget about the past and made me not caught up on him anymore. That was truly the best gift ever because no one has been able to do that. I had lost my way and myself but when i found you, I found myself too. The last time we saw each other was brief but great. I was in your arms and at that moment I knew it was where I belonged. This long distance thing has not been easy at all. It's frustrating knowing I can't be there when you need me and I can't reach out for you when I need you. And I know my *** isn't easy to deal with. I'm miserable, moody and insecure. I know you can't stand my insecurity but I'm only like that because I'm scared that you'll leave. I hope you won't though.. Sometimes i hate it that you don't talk to me. Like I would stay up all night to make sure you're alright just so you could tell me what goes through your mind but you never do... I want you to tell me how you're feeling cause I always do. Understand that I'm emotionally, visually, physically and mentally attracted to you.One day I will wake up everyday at 3 a.m. and I will roll over into your arms, then you'll rub my back until I fall back to sleep..

This is not anything big but I just wanted to tell you how I feel. I hope you like it. I'm glad that you exist even if you exist so far away from me ...

Happy Valentine's Day.

Kay-Ann Feb 2014

favorite

He once asked me the name of my favorite poet
I replied and said, "God."
He laughed and played along and then asked me which of His works was my absolute favorite
and I said, "It was the one where He wrote you into existence."

Kay-Ann Feb 2014

Untitled

And then it finally hit me.
He was an *******. He made me fall for him and most times he wasn't there to catch me.
But worst of all, he made me trust him. He made me think he wasn't like the others. And you know what?
He was right. He wasn't like the others ..

He was worse.