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Kay-Ann Feb 2014
So it's Valentine's Day and we're apart. I know it must be ****** or whatever with me not being there but I think it's worth it and I really hope you think the same..

So let's rewind back to the day I told you I was leaving. I didn't think I would care that much and I didn't think you would care either. I wish you could understand how hard it was for me to leave you. I swear it freaked me out when I was crying that night. I was like man I just met you few months ago so why do I care so much ?! That was also the day I realized I love you. I don't love you for the simple reasons like appearance or whatever. When you're really into someone, their physical imperfections become irrelevant and you see past all that. I love you for the mere fact that you made me believe in love again. You made me wanna love again. I won't get into all of this but just know that you made me forget about the past and made me not caught up on him anymore. That was truly the best gift ever because no one has been able to do that. I had lost my way and myself but when i found you, I found myself too. The last time we saw each other was brief but great. I was in your arms and at that moment I knew it was where I belonged. This long distance thing has not been easy at all. It's frustrating knowing I can't be there when you need me and I can't reach out for you when I need you. And I know my *** isn't easy to deal with. I'm miserable, moody and insecure. I know you can't stand my insecurity but I'm only like that because I'm scared that you'll leave. I hope you won't though.. Sometimes i hate it that you don't talk to me. Like I would stay up all night to make sure you're alright just so you could tell me what goes through your mind but you never do... I want you to tell me how you're feeling cause I always do. Understand that I'm emotionally, visually, physically and mentally attracted to you.One day I will wake up everyday at 3 a.m. and I will roll over into your arms, then you'll rub my back until I fall back to sleep..

This is not anything big but I just wanted to tell you how I feel. I hope you like it. I'm glad that you exist even if you exist so far away from me ...

Happy Valentine's Day.
Kay-Ann Feb 2014
He once asked me the name of my favorite poet
I replied and said, "God."
He laughed and played along and then asked me which of His works was my absolute favorite
and I said, "It was the one where He wrote you into existence."
Kay-Ann Feb 2014
And then it finally hit me.
He was an *******. He made me fall for him and most times he wasn't there to catch me.
But worst of all, he made me trust him. He made me think he wasn't like the others. And you know what?
He was right. He wasn't like the others ..

He was worse.
Kay-Ann Feb 2014
I wonder if biology can explain the physical pain you feel in your chest when all you wanna do is be with someone

I wonder if scientists can decipher the actual pain I get from heartbreak
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
It seems these days have been the hardest
every conversation turns into an argument
it seems whenever we're our happiest
something comes to erase that contentment

Our fights are like a competition
to see who can get the last scream
you and I are sometimes like a contradiction
because of the way you let me tear at the seams

At times we make more love than sense
And you **** me with all the unsaid sentences
but I don't want this to be like a conquest
I'm not ready to face those consequences

I'll always find one reason to keep holding on
I wanna give up but there's something about you
I don't know if I'm just petrified of being alone
Or its just the way how I just automatically stick to you like glue

but I love you despite all the heartbreak and sorrow
cause if you died today , I would surely die tomorrow.
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
I thought about you today
It was unexpected like a huge rush of water
trying to drown me
refreshing yet deadly
that's what comes to mind when I think of you
People still say that you never cared for me
but frankly I dont care
I know that somewhere deep within
the cold barren region of your heart
living or dead
big or small
somewhere inside you loved me
adored , cared and craved for me
maybe not as much as I did
but you loved me
no one could ever say that you didnt try ..
you did try , didnt you ?
why am I on your side?
why am I justifying reasons for you leaving me?
why am I trying to make it alright for you?
aah I dont know why
I dont think I'll ever know why
Kay-Ann Jan 2014
what is more deadly
a gun or a thought?


a gun gives you the opportunity
but a thought pulls the trigger.
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