Kay-Ann

Kay-Ann Jan 2014

I expected this but not so soon
I was just finally enjoying being me
Leaving here is going to be like leaving behind a huge part of me
This is where I was born
Where I grew up , where I first experienced true love
Where I first experienced heartbreak
This is where I became Kay-Ann

But part of me is happy
I'm going to begin a new life
A new life full of possibilities
Surely I'll miss my homeland

I'll miss the food
My dear ackee and saltfish
I'll miss the sights
Devon House and Emancipation Park
I'll miss the people
My friends from school and past loves

But migrating is all about starting anew
Starting that new chapter in the book of me.

Kay-Ann Jan 2014

who

who do we think we are ?
walking around like we own this place
walking around like we are the queen and king of this ****
ruling over the little peasants and commoners

we were never meant to be normal
we are heavenly, celestial beings
conceived by an angel and a prince

our births were the highlight of the country
they made a festival in honor of us
everyone brought gifts and jewels for us
everybody wanted to be us
thanking us for just being born

but that was long ago
we are no longer worshipped
we have grown into mature human beings
we are no longer royalty
and so the question still lingers
who do we think we are ?

Kay-Ann Jan 2014

The Type

I'm the type of girl who will give you my whole heart and expect the same in return
Cause love is about commitment and compromise
You don't just get it, it's something you have to earn
It's like the beginning of a great enterprise

I'm the type of girl who has faith
Cause I know it will take me far
I don't judge by just looking at your face
Because everyone is fighting their own unique war

I'm the type of girl who looks beyond the surface
People like that don't really exist
I hope what we have holds some purpose
Cause I don't want to lose this

I'm the type of girl who sometimes keeps my feelings in
I have dreams, fears and doubts
But love takes off the masks we know we can't live within
and fear we cant live without

I'm the type of girl who will make promises and stick to them
If not me , who ? If not now , when ?
Love is giving someone the power to destroy you but trusting them not to
You are my sun , I want to be brought to life by you.

Kay-Ann Dec 2013

Untitled

I no longer question the intentions of my heart ,... I just simply listen

Kay-Ann Dec 2013

Dear Happiness

Dear Happiness,

come back.

i have put up too much resistance and you have left me no choice.
your nemesis Sadness and his brother Sorrow have plagued my life and has eradicated my land of euphoric thoughts. they just invaded my life and have left me barren and empty.. they interrogated and frisked me and robbed me of my joy. everybody has left my life and everything i have ever adored has fled. I'm just an expendable little thing , worth no value. life is no longer my friend. and that's why I'm begging you to enter my existence. I'm not alive, just breathing. tell your dear cousin Love to fill my soul with glee and delight. call your friend Wealth to shower his blessings on me. Bring back the twins Family and Friendship to guide me. I need you. this facade i put on is slowly wearing off. let my heart rejoice and sing with elation again .

come back.

Kay-Ann Dec 2013

Nyctophilia

The love of darkness or night
This is precisely what I adore
The dark is where i erase my plight
Where my dreams and aspirations take flight
Where I undress my conscience and make love to my thoughts
I don't quite know how or why
But everything seems right when it's dark
It's a hidden land of castles and fairy tales
Where everybody is loved the way they should
and everything makes sense
And that's all I ever really craved
So even when it's daylight
My mind is as dark as the midnight sky
with infinite thoughts like the stars

Nyctophilia - grammatically a noun but could it be used as an adjective?
Ask me how I'm doing and I might say "I'm feeling very nyctophiliac today"
Nyctophilia- it's ironic how at night when most humans are sound asleep
it's the time when I feel most alive
Nyctophilia- it explains more of me than I'd ever be able to
So with that being said
Let darkness fall.

Kay-Ann Dec 2013

you.

I will never really understand why I cant leave you alone
what is it about you that is so addictive ?
i know I shouldnt be with you yet I came back
you're no good but I came back
you betrayed me but I still came back
but why? why am I coming back?
maybe its the way our bodies collided like two fine ships
beautiful but ending in doom , sinking like the Titanic
and the mighty waters leaving me vulnerable to whatever
your waves had planned for me
or maybe its way our kisses like diseases
infected the other with a jolt of regret and absolute pleasure
why do we always crave for the ones who are no good for us ?
i guess you're my cigarette
i pull you out of that dark , black box
and light you up when Im cold
keep you on my lips and inhale you
even though I know how toxic you are and can be
but i dont care
cause i love that feeling in my lungs
you're like alcohol too
so tempting and tantalizing on the lips
i get a lovely burning sensation as it sinks in
but i dont care
cause that feeling is heavenly
i shouldnt be here with you
lying on the bed drunk off each other's passion
you destroyed me once and I let you
you're gonna destroy me again and Im gonna let you