Kay-Ann

Kay-Ann Dec 2013

Dear Happiness,

come back.

i have put up too much resistance and you have left me no choice.
your nemesis Sadness and his brother Sorrow have plagued my life and has eradicated my land of euphoric thoughts. they just invaded my life and have left me barren and empty.. they interrogated and frisked me and robbed me of my joy. everybody has left my life and everything i have ever adored has fled. I'm just an expendable little thing , worth no value. life is no longer my friend. and that's why I'm begging you to enter my existence. I'm not alive, just breathing. tell your dear cousin Love to fill my soul with glee and delight. call your friend Wealth to shower his blessings on me. Bring back the twins Family and Friendship to guide me. I need you. this facade i put on is slowly wearing off. let my heart rejoice and sing with elation again .

come back.

Kay-Ann Dec 2013

Nyctophilia

The love of darkness or night
This is precisely what I adore
The dark is where i erase my plight
Where my dreams and aspirations take flight
Where I undress my conscience and make love to my thoughts
I don't quite know how or why
But everything seems right when it's dark
It's a hidden land of castles and fairy tales
Where everybody is loved the way they should
and everything makes sense
And that's all I ever really craved
So even when it's daylight
My mind is as dark as the midnight sky
with infinite thoughts like the stars

Nyctophilia - grammatically a noun but could it be used as an adjective?
Ask me how I'm doing and I might say "I'm feeling very nyctophiliac today"
Nyctophilia- it's ironic how at night when most humans are sound asleep
it's the time when I feel most alive
Nyctophilia- it explains more of me than I'd ever be able to
So with that being said
Let darkness fall.

Kay-Ann Dec 2013

you.

I will never really understand why I cant leave you alone
what is it about you that is so addictive ?
i know I shouldnt be with you yet I came back
you're no good but I came back
you betrayed me but I still came back
but why? why am I coming back?
maybe its the way our bodies collided like two fine ships
beautiful but ending in doom , sinking like the Titanic
and the mighty waters leaving me vulnerable to whatever
your waves had planned for me
or maybe its way our kisses like diseases
infected the other with a jolt of regret and absolute pleasure
why do we always crave for the ones who are no good for us ?
i guess you're my cigarette
i pull you out of that dark , black box
and light you up when Im cold
keep you on my lips and inhale you
even though I know how toxic you are and can be
but i dont care
cause i love that feeling in my lungs
you're like alcohol too
so tempting and tantalizing on the lips
i get a lovely burning sensation as it sinks in
but i dont care
cause that feeling is heavenly
i shouldnt be here with you
lying on the bed drunk off each other's passion
you destroyed me once and I let you
you're gonna destroy me again and Im gonna let you

Kay-Ann Dec 2013

A. Part Two

I broke the awkward silence and spoke to you
An explanation was needed for your actions
Said you were in a really rough patch and didn't think you were good for me
That you weren't best for me
Well how the hell did you know that when you didn't even ask
Communication.
That was always our weak point
Who knows what we could have been if we just communicated more
I wish we did
But the past is the past
I'm still trying to move on
Honestly I still love you
I miss you dearly
Maybe one day we'll be together again
We will
We were meant to be something great
Me and you
I know it, i just know it .

Kay-Ann Dec 2013

A.

I sit here thinking and the cold hard truth hits me
I'm not over you
You're still in my heart, my body , my soul
You're in my veins
You were my first true love and you taught me so much
Yes we had our difficulties
Unfaithfulness was evident but that couldn't deny the love we had for each other
I thought love was all we needed
Yeah I thought
I'm very much still in love with you
I remember all the times we had and the little things you said that just made my day
When you see you out there I wave and smile like it's cool
But God knows its not
I break down and cry inside every time I see you
I remember the first day I met you
We were just so excited at the thought of just being together
Even then I knew you were gonna be special
See no one understands how much I loved you
And no one ever really will
They say you never forget your first love
You just never do
I for one know that's true

Kay-Ann Dec 2013

This Life

This life is such a mystery
There's so much in sight that we don't see
Sometimes I wonder what's my purpose on this earth
Life can be such a mirth
As if the joy that welcomes birth

This life is complete actuality
We know who we are but not what be may be
Pressure is passion's poison and we get a dose of it everyday
But life is about living for today
You have to take chances or your life will never change
You can't direct the winds but you sure can adjust the sails

This life can be tricky, try not to be compelled
Opportunity never knocks twice but there is always the doorbell
You can never forget but always forgive
Cause the past has a way of holding you captive
Ability can get you far but it takes character to keep you there
Nature can be so cruel, predators are everywhere

This life has so many dimensions
Or maybe it's just a battle of perception
But what we think is not what we always see
Our expectations are so different from reality
But optimism is like the sun and doubt is the rain
Life is only beautiful for those who know how to celebrate the pain.

— The End —