i feel ******
i feel chucked in the corner
of your well intended lies
i feel used
confused by the trail of what
used  to be your imprint on my heart
stupid me should have known from the start

now you all ******* wrapped up in my soul
suppose u reached you goal
so like the last cube in the ice tray
i get washed away by the warm waters
of your misguided passion

and now the chase is over
as u discover you have me
wet like October rains
but winter draws nigh
and cold winds wont shy
from lashing u

so have a nice life
cuz i refuse to feel ****** and
chucked in the corner
of your misguided lies

Handmaiden knitting alone
in a cottage of regrets
spinning her final garment of pain
sized to fit only one

Its design is intricate
spanning years of broken promises
lies, deceit, jealousies
pattern... cyclic
the story of her life
a constant journey to places
she had already been

But she'll hem that garment today
she'll ***** herself and bleed
one last time
and as she bids fairwell
she does with no regrets
not bereft
but finally happy
relieved...

hands that caress craving curves
complementing carnal desires
hands that inspire this crazy notion
that ******* her husband’s friend
is reasonable, acceptable, calculable?

Oh but to blame these hands
Would be unreasonable, unacceptable
Unjust
For these hands could be any hand
That lends this chick some attention

See there’s a void she trying to fill
A hurt she’s trying to ****
And the hands are the *****
She hopes will fulfill
This aching need

Seems like greed
when she constantly feeds her flesh
with that which doesn’t satisfy
but for her hurting soul
rationale doesn’t clarify her pain

yet she knows there’s much to gain
from breaking this cyclical game
but the road to heavenly fame
means handing over the reigns
to the Invisible force

but of course, its hard to trust
when someone’s **** was ******
inside ‘fore it was time
the clandestine crime
committed in the prime of her youth

aint that the truth
boys living out fantasies
tearing off the *******
of victims too scared to scream
trapped in this horrid dream

so her whole life its seems
gets crowded by this scene
strangled by the obscene
so trying to live clean
seems an unlikely esteem

so she has hands caressing
craving curves
trying to settle her nerves
while they have their way
what more can she say?

When from this road
So many times she’d tried to sway
Now her strength is gone
and as she lay
on forbidden sheets

she prays that someday
He'll take her home
justified and clean
with an ocean of distance between
the girl craving hands

and the woman who landed
in the only Hand
that could make her see
that she was always the queen
she so hoped to be.

history...
herstory..
whose story?

they say we've come along way
from burden to freedom
from lesser to equal

but sad to say
in our struggle
we lost the beauty of woman

where are the ladies?

where are they who walk with pride
not because of the swing in their stride
but cuz of the power of their minds?

where are the ladies?

who refused to sell themselves short
for the vanity of flesh
and the lust of the eyes?

where are the ladies?

don't be confused
the beauty of a woman
was never found
in her *****
or her grooves

its the soul of a woman
fragile... strong...
soft... strong...
wise... strong...

oh how Eve groans
we've sold our birth right
in the name of ambition
sold our souls to break tradition...

where are the ladies?

There is an odd calm about me
The skies are bright blue
The heat immense
A hurricane is coming...
Its a few days offshore but the signs are clear

Yet there is an off calm about me
My mind is clear
My heart rate steady
A change is coming
Its ETA unknown but the writing engraved on the walls of my soul

Oceans deep, darkest blue
Andromeda's deepest hue
I'll stand still waiting for you
Arms wide open
To be swallowed by you

There is beauty in surrender
A strange excitement
A thrill unimaginable
A peace unknown
and
I
AM
READY
FOR
YOU!

i want to unlock the gates
behind which you hide
i want to see whats behind those eyes
i want to dance within your walls

i want to unlock you

i want to see your inner child
fragile, weak, mild
i want to see you run and prance
and watch the child in you dance

i want to unlock you

as decadent as it is sweet
he feeds her lies and she believes
she winks her eyes and he receives
fulfillment

she plays his game
ignore the tale of the ring
on his left hand


he thinks he's won
but a war has begun
at the place he once called home

now she feeds him lies
and as he winks his eyes
she pretends to blind

for now the tables turned
now his stomach churns
as his game now burns

when the candy once sweet
makes decadent his teeth
and leaves him
empty
____________

Fear tries to *******
Love descends to make amends
Embrace it I will

there's a familiar panting in my chest
the one that tells me
my lips crave yours
that your caress is all i need
to quench this thirst
that i need your fingers on these curves
that u need to remind me
of how divine my aroma is to you

yea there that familiar feeling
where hotflashes have me reeling
for more of you
images of skin meeting skin
soul caressing soul
and rivers of passion flow
as you throw me in cotton sheets

Yup i'm at my desk and your miles away
yet my mind strays to that place
where your voice calls my name
and where my aim is focused
on needing your hands,
craving your lips
you tasting these hips

aahhh **** this feeling
as cell phone ringing
brings me to the reality that
your not really here
that work is calling
and i'm falling behind
but i'll taste you later my dear.

Place where what you believe and what you do take separate roads
Atrophy of the mind... consuming confusion condemns
Ready to rear its ugly head
An anamoly by definition; it does not fit like
Darwinian Judeo-Christianic fanatacism, gay priests, holy ******
Only making sense in reality but never in theory
Xray her mind and you may find a holy ** hoping He'll heal her

Its that mystical moment in time
when serendipity and fate
conspire to create
a cross roads
between you and your ultimate desire

cross roads become one road
and you find yourself
making odes
singing loads of love songs

its that time when glances
part crowded rooms and
for that brief second
a thousand words would have dimmed in comparison

late night conversations
stolen kisses and
needing more wishes
lunch time quickies
during meeting messages
ambiguous phrases

fill the air with cupids touch

your love struck
yet you find yourself stuck
between a rock and a hard place
and you declare
that serendipity and fate
had lost their case


for your intimate space
was already occupied
by a decade worth of memories
by a wedding ring
a couple birthings
and a husband who would have died
just for you

what ifs fill your mind
yet you remind your self
you would not have wanted it any other way
so you create a secret place
memories of his face
tucked neatly away
you smile with the knowledge
you'll love him always

Fetal coil reposed
among white cotton sheets
and fluffy pillows
dead to the world
yet full of life

The peace of a baby
reassured of mother's protection
exudes from your aura
as you lay still
in these arms

ta dum, ta dum, ta dum
The steady beat of your heart
sets my soul to dancing  
as if to usher in the divine
wind of your love

With precision your chest rises and falls
as if to remind me
that as long as it does
your love remains
even beyond time

And as my movements
triggers desperate attempts
to keep me resting with you
I know you love me
beyond words



and as your eyes
dance behind closed lids
I long to invade your dreams
and see them as you do
and oddly enough I believe I do

like the excellence of Bach
your sleeping song
hits new chords
as it plays on the strings of my heart
and my love is renewed
as does the dawn

and when you arise
sleeping beauty
to the softness of my lips
and the assurance of my embrace

I know you'll be reminded
that as long as you do
my love remains
even beyond time

Tears streaming down my face
as volcanic emotions rupture the seams of this frail earthen vessel
and as molten fears roll down hardened cheeks
they remind me of broken cisterns
trying to carry the burden of
precious water to thirsty souls

Tears streaming down my face
flow from a place dark and cold
beyond the surface smiles
and feminine guiles
lay a pain waiting to explode
it’s been brewing for years
and the threads of this patched soul
can’t conceal these putrefying sores
anymore

And so they flow with the passion
of rivers on a quest to find the shore
seeking answers mystic as ancient folklores
corroding tightly concealed dungeon doors
waking painful dreams untold
Yes these tears stream down my face
and this time I’ll let them go

let them flow upon diseased waters
bringing purity and wholeness
like HIS Blood that has saturated ***** sheets
I'll let them caress this pain
rain washing this soul clean
I’ll let them remind me of where I’ve been
my tendency to sin
the hope i can only have in HIM

I’ll lay myself upon HIS brazen altar
pour these tears upon HIS throne
Allow this cistern to be remade whole
sweeping away the dust and the cold
I’ll come home
to that place of rest in YOU

Categorized, itemized, branded
They think that the equation that is me
balances out in simple steps
Ha ... they think they know me

I've been to Egypt and back
Walked through wilderness
And gone around the stupid mountain
too many times

Dont judge me because you dont understand
Ask me and you'll find
That my philosophies weren't adapted
they were learnt
from being burnt one, two, many times
Categorized, itemized, branded
Such a pity that I no longer care
Or fear your stupidity
For a man who always casts blame without
Is without a doubt stranded
On the isle of stagnancy,
Accomplishing only a fragment
Of what they were meant to be

... they think they know me.