Katrina Marie Lusk

Katrina Marie Lusk Jul 2013

Why

I find someone,
who makes me happy.
Then you say,
you're disappointed in me.
Why can't you just see,
that he really does love me?
Why do you constantly put me down?
Why can't you be proud,
of who your little girl has grown up to be.
For you it's never enough.
Which is why,
I had to learn to be tough.
I know life is rough,
but I'll never give up hoping.
That one day you'll see what I see,
and finally be proud of me.

I wrote this to my dad.

Katrina Marie Lusk Jul 2013

Tears

I have always been told,
that the best healing comes through tears.
To just let them unfold.
As I sit here all alone...
I feel the tears start to fall,
I take my hand and wipe them away.
Giving it my all...
To try and save them,
for just one more day.
You see the pain in my eyes,
that I hide with a smile.
But I can't deny,
that I can only stay happy for a little while.

Katrina Marie Lusk Jul 2013

Inside

All of these thoughts
running through my head.
Scared that people won't understand...
These questions I ask myself,
but never anyone else.
How can other people know,
when I don't even know myself?
Do they see me like I see myself?
Do they ever wonder...
Just what their purpose is in this life?
Who am I? Who am I supposed to be?
Most people would say I'm quiet,
and would be surprised by how much I hold inside.
On good days I'm happy go lucky,
but on the bad ones I just sit in silence and cry...
I can mean what I say one minute,
but the next I just snap.
I lose all self control,
and things come flooding out.
and I don't even remember why I got upset,
or what I even said.

Katrina Marie Lusk Jul 2013

Why I live

Many people will say,
they are living life for themselves.
But, if you asked me.
This is what I'd say;
I am living my life for him.
He gives my life meaning,
I gave him the time of day.
He knows my biggest mistakes,
and never makes me feel ashamed.
He takes away my pain,
when I think
I have nothing else to gain.
We encourage each other,
to do our very best.
We only get one shot,
at this test.
So let's follow our dreams,
and rise higher than the rest.
He is my everything,
and nothing will ever change.
Why I am living for him.

Katrina Marie Lusk Jul 2013

Anxiety Attack

I sit in the hallway,
my body shaking.
All the while,
my mind is contemplating.
Could reality be
colliding with this world,
I've created within me?
Suddenly my heart is racing,
my stomach is twisting.
I count to ten,
and just wish it would end.
I get so agitated,
my cheeks become heated.
Knees up against my chest
and I wonder if,
this is some sort of test.
How do I get out,
of these two places?
My mind becomes numb,
empty space of what used to be.
My body gets cold,
if only I had a hand to hold.
My eyes are hazy,
only a fog can be seen.
My face looks lazy,
only a blank expression can you read.
I look at myself,
and this is all I see.
I'm scared of what,
I've come to be.
This is all,
because of anxiety...

Katrina Marie Lusk Jul 2013

Promises

Only 2 months,
into our relationship.
And on that day,
you gave me a ring.
Promising me,
you were here to stay.
This ring shall be
a constant reminder,
from you to me.
A reminder of this,
you see...
A promise to care,
for you will always be there.
A promise to keep me close,
to never let me fade away.
So many promises,
yet this goes on.
You promise,
your full honesty.
You promise me,
you'll never leave.
You even promise,
to stick it through.
On those days,
when you feel sorta blue.
So many promises,
held in one little ring.
A constant reminder indeed,
of promises you've made to me.
You'll be surprised to know,
that I've made promises too!
With your life in my hands.
I promise this is true,
my love is yours to keep.
So just remember,
I will always love you.

Katrina Marie Lusk Jul 2013

Promises

Only 2 months,
into our relationship.
And on that day,
you gave me a ring.
Promising me,
you were here to stay.
This ring shall be
a constant reminder,
from you to me.
A reminder of this,
you see...
A promise to care,
for you will always be there.
A promise to keep me close,
to never let me fade away.
So many promises,
yet this goes on.
You promise,
your full honesty.
You promise me,
you'll never leave.
You even promise,
to stick it through.
On those days,
when you feel sorta blue.
So many promises,
held in one little ring.
A constant reminder indeed,
of promises you've made to me.
You'll be surprised to know,
that I've made promises too!
With your life in my hands.
I promise this is true,
my love is yours to keep.
So just remember,
I will always love you.