She forgot.
She was so wrapped up
in him, her, they, it.
consumed
by every little thing
that never truly mattered
the matted fur on her head
hadn't been brushed in months
the skin thickening over her bruised heart
and also on her callused fingers
her feet
large yet strong
they kept her steady.
when her hands and breath were shaking
and her eyes strained to focus
and her lungs
Oh her lungs
filled with flowers
so beautiful
yet so suffocating
when she couldn't breathe
her feet held their ground
more like walked on it
and carried her
exactly where she needed to be
even when
especially when her head disagreed
her feet knew
but her brain wasn't dead
she knew one thing was wrong
and one thing only
she forgot who she was
she was so focused on planting beautiful flowers for others to enjoy
she didn't understand the cost
how could she
she couldn't
and that's okay
because truth be told
cinderella needed her fairy godmother.
she couldn't save herself.
and in a world where we are forced to do everything on our own
or we're seen as weak
is the real fairytale
Cinderella and her glass slippers
carried her to her freedom
just as the large strong feet carried this special kind of flower
and buried it in the ground
in hopes that this
this
this could continue to grow
and that the flowers didn't have to be in her lungs anymore
She could now remember
and made one small change to her bouquet
a simple change of a name
to
forget-her-not

Her sad eyes look up at me with longing
A wanting for something I have
An opportunity I seized and one she missed
A chance to do better has never been more needed
She’s jealous
And it's hurting me

It’s so hard not to stare
As you know she is looking at you
Begging
And hating you for what you have
Hating you for your talents
Hating you for your friends
Hating you for the things she doesn’t have

What she doesn’t know
Is she is also hating me for my hard work
My well earned opportunities
My time
My money
That has all been spent in creating this life for myself
She doesn’t have a right to be jealous
She doesn’t get to do this to me

My success is my fault
I shouldn’t be hated for it
I shouldn't be ridiculed for it
I shouldn’t have to deal with someone being angry at me
For something that they didn’t get

She’s only seeing the good
She only sees what i have that is valuable
She isn’t seeing what it took to get me here
What it will take to get me further
How hard I have worked for something like this.

Jealousy is a painful experience
It’s one we all know of
But we shall be patient

I’ve been jealous of her
I’ve been jealous of others for a long time
It’s my turn to have something unique for me
It's my turn to have something i want

And your jealousy is not my fault

The best feeling is when you look at someone and they’re already looking at you.

The best feeling is when you come in from the snow, and have the hot chocolate running down your throat.

The best feeling is when it’s raining outside, but your inside snuggled up in a big fluffy blanket watching from the windowsill.

The best feeling is when it’s done raining and the smell of pine and dirt are hung in the air along with a scent of renewal.

The best feeling is when you give a gift and seeing their face light up is the only thing that matters.

The best feeling is when you remember all the lyrics to your favorite childhood songs.

The best feeling is when the house smells like cookies and you know that grandma’s home.

The best feeling is when you roll around in the grass and feel so grateful that God gave us this world.

The best feeling is when you start with one blank page and end with thirty filled.

The best feeling is when someone tells you they love you, and they mean it.

The best feeling is me being here, sharing my heart with you.

What am I doing wrong, for I know not anymore.
What am I failing at, I lack that understanding.
What can't I do right, I'm mixing up my flaws.
What is my problem, I have so many I lost count.
Where is my pride, It left without me.
Where did my heart go, it went past my feet a long time ago.
Which flaw is the worst, they all seem so bad.
Where can I turn, my circle is scaring me.
When can I leave, I can't take it anymore.
Which problem was caused by me, I've lost count.
When can I feel happy again?
When can I feel peace again?
When will my heartache be over?
When will I no longer feel the need to constantly look over my shoulder.
Tell me, what am I doing wrong?